The Pig. This was considerable progress, and here my own will took over and I looked around to learn more about my surroundings. I was facing downward, so that’s where I first turned my attention. What I saw there was a woman’s face.
“We’ll never solve the problem of the head shot until an entirely new technology comes along,” she said. I had no idea what this meant. Her hair was spread out on a pillow. There were outspread hands on each side of her face. There was something odd about her eyes, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I suppose I was in a literal frame of mind, because having thought that, I touched one of her eyeballs with the tip of my finger. It didn’t seem to bother her much. She blinked, and I took my finger away.
There was an important discovery: when I touched her eye, one of the hands had moved. Putting these data together, I concluded that the hands bracketing her face were my hands. I wiggled a finger, testing this hypothesis. One of the fingers down there wiggled. Not the one I had intended, but how much exactitude could I expect? I smiled, proud of myself.
“You can encase the brain in metal,” she said. “Put a blood bag on the anti-camera side of the head, fire a bullet from the camera’s pee-oh-vee. And ka-chow ! The bullet goes whanging off the metal cover, ka-blooey , the blood bag explodes, and if you’re lucky it looks like the bullet went through the head and spread tomato sauce all over the wall in back of the guy.”
I felt large.
Had I taken large pills? I couldn’t remember, but I must have. Normally I don’t, as they aren’t really much of a thrill, unless you get your kicks by imagining yourself to be the size of an interplanetary liner. But you can mix them with other drugs and get interesting effects. I must have done that.
“You can make it look even more real by putting teeny tiny charges in back of the eyeballs. When the bullet hits, the charges go off, and the eyeballs are blown out toward the camera, see? Along with a nice blood haze, which is a plus in masking whatever violations of realism are going on behind it.”
Something was rubbing against my ears. I turned my head about as quickly as they rotate the big scope out in Copernicus, and saw a bare foot. At first I thought it was my foot, but I knew from reports flown in by carrier pigeon that my own feet were about three kilometers behind me, at the ends of my legs, which were stretched out straight. I turned my head the other way, saw another foot. Hers, I concluded. The first was probably hers, too.
“But that damn steel case. Crimony! I can’t tell you what a—you should pardon the expression—headache that thing can be. Especially when nine out of ten directors will insist the head shot has to be in slomo. You give the chump a false forehead full of Max Factor #3 to guarantee a juicy wound, you anodize the braincase in black so—you hope —it’ll look like a hole in the head when the skin’s ripped away, and what happens? The damn bullet rips through everything, and there it is in the dailies. A bright, shiny spot of metal right down there at the bottom of the hole. The director chews you out, and it’s Retake City.”
Was I aboard a ship? That might account for the rocking motion. But I remembered I was in the Blind Pig, and unless the bar had been cut from its steel catacomb and embarked bodily, it seemed unlikely we were at sea. I decided I still needed more data. Feeling adventurous, I looked down between myself and the woman’s body.
For a moment the view made no sense at all. I could see my own legs, and my feet, as if through a reversed telescope. Then I couldn’t see them any more. Then I could again. Where were her legs? I couldn’t see them. Oh, yes, since her feet were tickling my ears, her legs must be those things against my chest. So she was on the floor, on her back. And that explained the other activity I saw. I stopped my up and down motion.
“I don’t want to
“We’ll never solve the problem of the head shot until an entirely new technology comes along,” she said. I had no idea what this meant. Her hair was spread out on a pillow. There were outspread hands on each side of her face. There was something odd about her eyes, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I suppose I was in a literal frame of mind, because having thought that, I touched one of her eyeballs with the tip of my finger. It didn’t seem to bother her much. She blinked, and I took my finger away.
There was an important discovery: when I touched her eye, one of the hands had moved. Putting these data together, I concluded that the hands bracketing her face were my hands. I wiggled a finger, testing this hypothesis. One of the fingers down there wiggled. Not the one I had intended, but how much exactitude could I expect? I smiled, proud of myself.
“You can encase the brain in metal,” she said. “Put a blood bag on the anti-camera side of the head, fire a bullet from the camera’s pee-oh-vee. And ka-chow ! The bullet goes whanging off the metal cover, ka-blooey , the blood bag explodes, and if you’re lucky it looks like the bullet went through the head and spread tomato sauce all over the wall in back of the guy.”
I felt large.
Had I taken large pills? I couldn’t remember, but I must have. Normally I don’t, as they aren’t really much of a thrill, unless you get your kicks by imagining yourself to be the size of an interplanetary liner. But you can mix them with other drugs and get interesting effects. I must have done that.
“You can make it look even more real by putting teeny tiny charges in back of the eyeballs. When the bullet hits, the charges go off, and the eyeballs are blown out toward the camera, see? Along with a nice blood haze, which is a plus in masking whatever violations of realism are going on behind it.”
Something was rubbing against my ears. I turned my head about as quickly as they rotate the big scope out in Copernicus, and saw a bare foot. At first I thought it was my foot, but I knew from reports flown in by carrier pigeon that my own feet were about three kilometers behind me, at the ends of my legs, which were stretched out straight. I turned my head the other way, saw another foot. Hers, I concluded. The first was probably hers, too.
“But that damn steel case. Crimony! I can’t tell you what a—you should pardon the expression—headache that thing can be. Especially when nine out of ten directors will insist the head shot has to be in slomo. You give the chump a false forehead full of Max Factor #3 to guarantee a juicy wound, you anodize the braincase in black so—you hope —it’ll look like a hole in the head when the skin’s ripped away, and what happens? The damn bullet rips through everything, and there it is in the dailies. A bright, shiny spot of metal right down there at the bottom of the hole. The director chews you out, and it’s Retake City.”
Was I aboard a ship? That might account for the rocking motion. But I remembered I was in the Blind Pig, and unless the bar had been cut from its steel catacomb and embarked bodily, it seemed unlikely we were at sea. I decided I still needed more data. Feeling adventurous, I looked down between myself and the woman’s body.
For a moment the view made no sense at all. I could see my own legs, and my feet, as if through a reversed telescope. Then I couldn’t see them any more. Then I could again. Where were her legs? I couldn’t see them. Oh, yes, since her feet were tickling my ears, her legs must be those things against my chest. So she was on the floor, on her back. And that explained the other activity I saw. I stopped my up and down motion.
“I don’t want to
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