find some other people who were like her, who would understand her.
“ Fine.” She said defeated. “I’ll go.” She realized it was time to be strong enough to face her biggest fear. She didn’t fit in with normal people anymore. What if she didn’t fit in with people like her either?
###
On Sunday Victoria and Kate went out to lunch before her meeting. They stopped at a small deli right off campus. It had flowers on the wallpaper in a distinct smell of home cooking. It reminded Victoria of her grandmother, and the food was just as good as her grandmother used to make. While they were snacking on sandwiches Victoria had a thought, “Are there going be any people there my age?”
Kate swallowed a sip of her soda while nodding, “Oh I’m sure. It’s a college organization. You’re going to find a lot of people that have lost family members or friends in their young lives. You’re really not alone in this.”
“ I know, it just makes me nervous.” She said as she could feel her anxiety rising up in her chest. “It doesn’t feel right talking about Levi to people that I don’t even know.”
Kate started to collect her trash, “Then don’t talk. You’re welcome to just listen to them, hear about their experiences and then think about how they can match your own. No one expects you to talk your first time going.”
As they collected their belongings and threw away the garbage Victoria attempted to ignore the tension rising in her body.
When they arrived at the empty building Kate pointed to a sign that read, “Group Today 2PM Room 218.”
“ Looks like our place,” she said encouraging Victoria to walk inside before her. Victoria walked slowly trying to catch her breath. Then she mounted the stairs slowly taking her time with each step considering all of her options. Finally arriving at the door she stood there for a moment thinking if this was what she really wanted to do. But she knew she had to. Kate pushed the door open in front of her and they walked in together side-by-side. Victoria found two chairs in the back and she sat down feeling the cold metal beneath her fingertips as she rubbed her hands back and forth on the folding chair. She didn’t dare look up at the people around her, not even at Kate. Another troubling thought occurred to her--what if most of these people had lost their loved ones to a long-term illness like cancer? Could she bear to sit here and listen to their horrific stories? Levi had been lost so suddenly that they hadn’t had any time to say goodbye. Or to enjoy the last moments of his life. It didn’t seem fair.
She stared at the dark tile floor beneath her feet and continued to run her hands back and forth. She hoped it would calm her nerves. She heard someone walk up to her and she continued to look at the floor for a few minutes before he finally cleared his throat. What she saw before her was not what she expected. A good-looking guy only a little bit older than her stood towering over her with a bright smile on his face. She watched his dark green eyes and continued to look up noticing his dark brown hair and for a moment he was reminded her of Levi. She shook her head as if to clear the image from her mind but the man still stood there staring at her looking at her as if she was the most important thing in the room. So many people have given her this type of look since Levi had died and it wasn’t the type of attention that Victoria needed. When she looked into his eyes images came flooding back to her as if they were slow-motion movie. She and Levi chatting on the back porch sipping iced tea in the sunshine. She closed her eyes tightly. She allowed her fingertips to find the scars she had given herself only three months before. A constant reminder of what was real and what was not. Finally she took a deep breath and opened her eyes when he finally spoke, “Good afternoon. My name is Brighton Hanley, I’m the student advisor for this group. We’re glad to
“ Fine.” She said defeated. “I’ll go.” She realized it was time to be strong enough to face her biggest fear. She didn’t fit in with normal people anymore. What if she didn’t fit in with people like her either?
###
On Sunday Victoria and Kate went out to lunch before her meeting. They stopped at a small deli right off campus. It had flowers on the wallpaper in a distinct smell of home cooking. It reminded Victoria of her grandmother, and the food was just as good as her grandmother used to make. While they were snacking on sandwiches Victoria had a thought, “Are there going be any people there my age?”
Kate swallowed a sip of her soda while nodding, “Oh I’m sure. It’s a college organization. You’re going to find a lot of people that have lost family members or friends in their young lives. You’re really not alone in this.”
“ I know, it just makes me nervous.” She said as she could feel her anxiety rising up in her chest. “It doesn’t feel right talking about Levi to people that I don’t even know.”
Kate started to collect her trash, “Then don’t talk. You’re welcome to just listen to them, hear about their experiences and then think about how they can match your own. No one expects you to talk your first time going.”
As they collected their belongings and threw away the garbage Victoria attempted to ignore the tension rising in her body.
When they arrived at the empty building Kate pointed to a sign that read, “Group Today 2PM Room 218.”
“ Looks like our place,” she said encouraging Victoria to walk inside before her. Victoria walked slowly trying to catch her breath. Then she mounted the stairs slowly taking her time with each step considering all of her options. Finally arriving at the door she stood there for a moment thinking if this was what she really wanted to do. But she knew she had to. Kate pushed the door open in front of her and they walked in together side-by-side. Victoria found two chairs in the back and she sat down feeling the cold metal beneath her fingertips as she rubbed her hands back and forth on the folding chair. She didn’t dare look up at the people around her, not even at Kate. Another troubling thought occurred to her--what if most of these people had lost their loved ones to a long-term illness like cancer? Could she bear to sit here and listen to their horrific stories? Levi had been lost so suddenly that they hadn’t had any time to say goodbye. Or to enjoy the last moments of his life. It didn’t seem fair.
She stared at the dark tile floor beneath her feet and continued to run her hands back and forth. She hoped it would calm her nerves. She heard someone walk up to her and she continued to look at the floor for a few minutes before he finally cleared his throat. What she saw before her was not what she expected. A good-looking guy only a little bit older than her stood towering over her with a bright smile on his face. She watched his dark green eyes and continued to look up noticing his dark brown hair and for a moment he was reminded her of Levi. She shook her head as if to clear the image from her mind but the man still stood there staring at her looking at her as if she was the most important thing in the room. So many people have given her this type of look since Levi had died and it wasn’t the type of attention that Victoria needed. When she looked into his eyes images came flooding back to her as if they were slow-motion movie. She and Levi chatting on the back porch sipping iced tea in the sunshine. She closed her eyes tightly. She allowed her fingertips to find the scars she had given herself only three months before. A constant reminder of what was real and what was not. Finally she took a deep breath and opened her eyes when he finally spoke, “Good afternoon. My name is Brighton Hanley, I’m the student advisor for this group. We’re glad to
Similar Books
Never Apply for a Job Again!: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest
Darrell Gurney, Ivan Misner
