totally cannot be talking about this with my mother—ew.”
“I’m serious, Céce.”
“With your pink hair and your gold teeth and your busted nose.”
“Right now, I’m your best chance at not ending up like me.”
“You think we’re stupid?”
“I think you’re fifteen. And thanks.”
“Ma, look, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yeah you did. Condoms?”
I roll my eyes and nod.
She nods. “I’ll take you to the doctor for a prescription.” “I told you, we got it covered.”
“Doesn’t hurt to have a backup.” She holds my hand. “Just. Be. Careful.”
I roll my eyes the other way. Why am I so bitchy to her when she’s being so cool? “We will, okay?”
“I’m talking about being in love with each other so soon.”
I’m about to tell her I’m not in love with him, but that would be a lie. “I do. I really do love him. And he loves me, I think. He’s the one, Ma. He is. I feel it.” Tears from nowhere. I am such a tool. She pulls me into a hug. I’m sitting in her lap. She’s rubbing my back and hushing me. I bury my face in her pink hair. It smells like burned pumpkin. “Ma? He makes me feel like I can be somebody.”
“You are somebody, honey. You are so awesome.”
“No, Ma. You don’t get it. He makes me feel like I can be somebody else.”
THE THIRTY-NINTH DAY . . .
(Monday, July 20, morning)
MACK:
My life started last night. Here on in, everything I see, I see . Like the way Tony was always looking up at the sky. I don’t think I need to look down to my sneakers so much anymore. To hide. I don’t think I slept last night, thinking about her, about us, but I am awake .
The Too is closed to customers today, but we’re in for annual cleaning. It’s hard to hear her with all the fans sucking the stink of fresh paint out of the place. Mrs. V. and me are at the bar. She has her arm over my shoulders. “We understand each other?” she says. She puts her hand to my chin and tilts my head up so I have to look her in the eye.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Am I that old?”
“Sorry, ma’am?”
“Why won’t you call me Carmella?”
“I will.” I almost said I will, ma’am .
“Mack, Céce gets excited about things. She dives in fast and deep, you know? Sometimes before there’s enough water in the pool. I know, this is a hard thing to hear, but you understand what I’m saying, right? Look at me for a second. You love her, right?”
Sweat pushes through me. “Yes.”
“And you’re absolutely sure, of course.”
“Yes.”
“But here’s my thing: You know you need each other, but you don’t know each other.”
But we do, I want to say. We know each other’s secrets.
“Mack?”
“Yes ma’am?”
“Take the time, okay? To find out who she is, to let her know who you are.”
“We will, ma’am.”
She shakes her head. “The two of you, I don’t know. I guess you’ll be all right.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
The news comes on the bar TV. They give the war report. Triple suicide attack. Car bombs.
Mrs. V. switches the channel to a game show.
I head off to clean the ice machine. Marcy’s there in the back, with Céce. “How you doin’, Marcy?”
“Suicidal, Macky . You?”
“Good.”
“ So happy for you.” She turns to Céce. “Cheech, how’s that herpes thing workin’ out? You still contagious?”
We’re at the Dumpster, emptying the trash buckets. Céce’s looking over her shoulder to make sure nobody’s spying. “How weird was that with my mother, right?”
“She was real cool.”
“What’d she say?”
“That she loves you a ton.”
She stops with the trash emptying. Then she gets back to it.
“Any word from Tony?” I say.
“Text that said he can’t talk this week. Apparently if somebody in the platoon screws up, everybody loses privileges.”
“I think I heard that.”
She puts her hand on her hip, gives me mean eyes. “Where?”
“Recruiter came to the rec center a year or so back,
“I’m serious, Céce.”
“With your pink hair and your gold teeth and your busted nose.”
“Right now, I’m your best chance at not ending up like me.”
“You think we’re stupid?”
“I think you’re fifteen. And thanks.”
“Ma, look, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yeah you did. Condoms?”
I roll my eyes and nod.
She nods. “I’ll take you to the doctor for a prescription.” “I told you, we got it covered.”
“Doesn’t hurt to have a backup.” She holds my hand. “Just. Be. Careful.”
I roll my eyes the other way. Why am I so bitchy to her when she’s being so cool? “We will, okay?”
“I’m talking about being in love with each other so soon.”
I’m about to tell her I’m not in love with him, but that would be a lie. “I do. I really do love him. And he loves me, I think. He’s the one, Ma. He is. I feel it.” Tears from nowhere. I am such a tool. She pulls me into a hug. I’m sitting in her lap. She’s rubbing my back and hushing me. I bury my face in her pink hair. It smells like burned pumpkin. “Ma? He makes me feel like I can be somebody.”
“You are somebody, honey. You are so awesome.”
“No, Ma. You don’t get it. He makes me feel like I can be somebody else.”
THE THIRTY-NINTH DAY . . .
(Monday, July 20, morning)
MACK:
My life started last night. Here on in, everything I see, I see . Like the way Tony was always looking up at the sky. I don’t think I need to look down to my sneakers so much anymore. To hide. I don’t think I slept last night, thinking about her, about us, but I am awake .
The Too is closed to customers today, but we’re in for annual cleaning. It’s hard to hear her with all the fans sucking the stink of fresh paint out of the place. Mrs. V. and me are at the bar. She has her arm over my shoulders. “We understand each other?” she says. She puts her hand to my chin and tilts my head up so I have to look her in the eye.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Am I that old?”
“Sorry, ma’am?”
“Why won’t you call me Carmella?”
“I will.” I almost said I will, ma’am .
“Mack, Céce gets excited about things. She dives in fast and deep, you know? Sometimes before there’s enough water in the pool. I know, this is a hard thing to hear, but you understand what I’m saying, right? Look at me for a second. You love her, right?”
Sweat pushes through me. “Yes.”
“And you’re absolutely sure, of course.”
“Yes.”
“But here’s my thing: You know you need each other, but you don’t know each other.”
But we do, I want to say. We know each other’s secrets.
“Mack?”
“Yes ma’am?”
“Take the time, okay? To find out who she is, to let her know who you are.”
“We will, ma’am.”
She shakes her head. “The two of you, I don’t know. I guess you’ll be all right.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
The news comes on the bar TV. They give the war report. Triple suicide attack. Car bombs.
Mrs. V. switches the channel to a game show.
I head off to clean the ice machine. Marcy’s there in the back, with Céce. “How you doin’, Marcy?”
“Suicidal, Macky . You?”
“Good.”
“ So happy for you.” She turns to Céce. “Cheech, how’s that herpes thing workin’ out? You still contagious?”
We’re at the Dumpster, emptying the trash buckets. Céce’s looking over her shoulder to make sure nobody’s spying. “How weird was that with my mother, right?”
“She was real cool.”
“What’d she say?”
“That she loves you a ton.”
She stops with the trash emptying. Then she gets back to it.
“Any word from Tony?” I say.
“Text that said he can’t talk this week. Apparently if somebody in the platoon screws up, everybody loses privileges.”
“I think I heard that.”
She puts her hand on her hip, gives me mean eyes. “Where?”
“Recruiter came to the rec center a year or so back,
Similar Books
