nothing left to hide. With him, I don’t have to pretend anymore that Beau is just some guy from my past, when he so clearly is a part of my present too. Charlie understands that seeing him and having to interact with him, can send me into an emotional tailspin and as much as I wish I could say that I didn’t love him anymore, I still do.
BLK frequently has me drop by their headquarters, which fortunately for me, is fine with my boss. She loves Fashion Week and has been very accommodating and supportive. She just switched my schedule and now has me opening on Saturdays to make up for lost time.
The Saturday crowd is different than that of the weekday crowd. Patrons wander in and tend to not leave. All of the tables and chairs are usually filled and it’s nice to see the same regulars week after week.
Charlie loves to come and sit in the window while I work, people watch, and play ‘I spy’.
One night after too many glasses of wine, we were sitting at an outside bistro table, and we turned the classic “I spy” children’s game into something more. We would spy on random people as they passed by and then together, we would make up an elaborate story about who they were, where they were going, or what they did in life. Since then, the game has kind of stuck and we’ve had hours of laughs together.
“Leila, aren’t you off the clock yet?” he asks as I walk his way with two fresh lattes.
“Yep, just finished.”
“Perfect, sit for a minute. The scenery this morning has been amazing.”
I can’t help but giggle. His eyes are playful and happy. I sit in the empty seat next to him.
“I spy something with my big brown eyes, and it’s that lady across the street walking her dog. Now what makes this lady so interesting is that the only reason she could possibly be wearing a matching outfit to her dog is because she is headed down to the theater district to audition for a children’s show titled, Here’s Why My Owner is Crazy ! And the best part is, they are both wearing animal print. She wrapped her animal in an animal. That is just wrong on so many levels.”
I throw my head back and laugh. I hadn’t realized they were both in animal print until he pointed it out.
“Theater audition, huh?”
“Most definitely.”
I glance back out the window but my eyes catch on someone else. All of the air stops in my lungs and I gasp.
Beau has stopped in front of the café doors and he looks like he is having a conversation with himself about coming in. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in weeks and my emotions are split right down the middle. I’ve become used to missing him, but since that last conversation on the beach, it seems to have become worse. Seeing him makes me so happy. I feel like if my skin wasn’t holding me together, I would burst all over the place, but at the same time, instead of my heart slowing down to the peace that I know he can bring me, it speeds up because he also brings heartache. A heartache that is so dull and low lying, it never leaves and constantly reminds me of what I’ll never have.
For a fleeting second, as I watch him, the thought that he might be purposely coming here just to see me enters my mind. I inwardly scold myself because that’s doubtful and unrealistic. Knowing Beau, I just gave myself false hope in his sudden appearance.
He shoves one hand into his pocket, reaches for the door, and walks in.
Just like he always has, he takes my breath away. He’s wearing khaki pants, a black V-neck T-shirt that makes his arms look lean and strong, and a pair of flip flops. He’s recently had a haircut and his face has a light stubble on it. He could easily step off the page of a Calvin Klein ad.
Standing in the doorway, he scans the café and scowls when his eyes land on me. My heart sinks because he looks angry and I don’t know what I’ve done.
Climbing out of the chair, I slowly approach him smiling.
“Hey, I saw you stop outside and I was wondering if you were
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