At this point in my life if I can’t trust Max, I really have no one on my side. I feel like a vulnerable child, so lost and homesick. The tears run freely down my face as the reality hits home. My worst fear has become my reality. I know he loves her, I felt it in the barn that day. She said that he was with me out of obligation. Is that true? My mind goes back to when we started hooking up. I can’t be monogamous, so I guess it’s not fair. Why did I think he was different to other men? Why did I think I could turn the ultimate player into husband material? My mind goes over our relationship so far. I have always been the pursuer—it has always been me. I am an idiot—how did I not see this coming? I even had to bribe him with sex to be monogamous while he was in Sydney and that didn’t even work. My memory brings forth the prostitute that Abbie calls TC which is short for tunnel cunt. I sob out loud as I realise he didn’t even tell me he loved me until I told him I hadn’t slept with anyone else. Amelie is right; he is with me out of obligation and even if he’s not I am definitely not strong enough to deal with this at the moment. I need time to think. Was he really with me out of guilt? He thinks he wants me … but deep down is he really in love with her? Do they share a bond that I can’t compete with? They have common interests, and they are close friends, companions. He and I share amazing sexual chemistry, but we fight like cat and dog. I hate horses, know nothing about computers and if I am honest with myself want to stay living in Australia. We were never going to work. I just wish I had never killed my father in pursuit of the ultimate happiness. Joshua’s unobtainable love. I just need to get home and forget I ever met this destructive man. They say everything in life has a reason. What in the world could be the reason for the amount of hurt I have endured in the last two months? What have I done that is just so bad that it deserves this kind of punishment?
Max walks through the double doors and I half expect to see Joshua behind him, but he’s not. Max has stayed true to his word. I sit still as he walks over to me.
“Come on crybaby. Up,” he whispers.
I smile as I shakily take the hand he is holding out for me. He pulls me into an embrace and I burst into full-blown sobs. I hate it when people are nice to you when you are on the edge—it makes you fall apart. I stand for a minute in his arms crying hysterically.
“Tash, let’s go back. Try and work this out with him. He loves you. He’s frantic,” he whispers into my hair.
I shake my head. “He has been sleeping with Amelie,” I sob.
“Honey, you left him. Remember. I don’t think he was sleeping with her all the time. I think it was just one time from what I heard.”
“What did you hear?” I sob.
“He was screaming at her and telling her that he loved you and that he was going to kill her if she didn’t get away from him.”
I start to really sob. “What was she doing?”
“She was crying, and then she went outside and Cameron and she had a big fight. When I was leaving Adrian had asked the bodyguards to escort her from the building.”
I cry again, out of pity for her. I put my head into my hands and slump back into the chair. Maybe he does love her and she knows it and yet he is denying them a future together out of obligation to me. This is my worst fucking nightmare. He’s sacrificing his own happiness to give me mine.
“Get me back to Australia, Max, I need to get out of here. This isn’t my happy ever after I dreamt about.”
“But Tash.”
“No … are you going to help me or not, because if not you can fuck off right now too!”
He smirks. “Really, fuck off.”
I smirk back. “Basically.”
“So you want me to basically fuck off.”
I smile through my tears as I nod.
“I will go and buy us some bus tickets to another state and then we will get a plane back to Australia. But I want you
Max walks through the double doors and I half expect to see Joshua behind him, but he’s not. Max has stayed true to his word. I sit still as he walks over to me.
“Come on crybaby. Up,” he whispers.
I smile as I shakily take the hand he is holding out for me. He pulls me into an embrace and I burst into full-blown sobs. I hate it when people are nice to you when you are on the edge—it makes you fall apart. I stand for a minute in his arms crying hysterically.
“Tash, let’s go back. Try and work this out with him. He loves you. He’s frantic,” he whispers into my hair.
I shake my head. “He has been sleeping with Amelie,” I sob.
“Honey, you left him. Remember. I don’t think he was sleeping with her all the time. I think it was just one time from what I heard.”
“What did you hear?” I sob.
“He was screaming at her and telling her that he loved you and that he was going to kill her if she didn’t get away from him.”
I start to really sob. “What was she doing?”
“She was crying, and then she went outside and Cameron and she had a big fight. When I was leaving Adrian had asked the bodyguards to escort her from the building.”
I cry again, out of pity for her. I put my head into my hands and slump back into the chair. Maybe he does love her and she knows it and yet he is denying them a future together out of obligation to me. This is my worst fucking nightmare. He’s sacrificing his own happiness to give me mine.
“Get me back to Australia, Max, I need to get out of here. This isn’t my happy ever after I dreamt about.”
“But Tash.”
“No … are you going to help me or not, because if not you can fuck off right now too!”
He smirks. “Really, fuck off.”
I smirk back. “Basically.”
“So you want me to basically fuck off.”
I smile through my tears as I nod.
“I will go and buy us some bus tickets to another state and then we will get a plane back to Australia. But I want you
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