Split Code by Dorothy Dunnett Page B

Hell, we only shot policemen in Liverpool.’
    They all said go on, so I did it again.
    This time Donovan, Hugo and Grover all kissed me, while the stall-owner snatched back the gun and broke it as if he planned never to use it again. Then he handed me over my bear.
    It wasn’t quite as massive as Panadek in his gorilla suit, but it was a fairly near miss. I could see why takings might be low if they had to pass these things over too often. The cramp in my left arm explained why they didn’t run very much risk.
    Silence fell on the Mallards, Sukey and Grover as six pairs of eyes switched hopefully back and forth between my face and the bruin’s. Grover said, ‘The men died. Jonah died them.’
    ‘They were just pretend men,’ I said, and knelt. ‘Everyone is to hold Joanna’s bear for a little. Grover hold it first.’
    It was as big as Grover. He put it on its feet in the dirt, seized a ring on its chest and looking at us expectantly, tugged it.
    ‘My name,’ said a thick, oily voice next to Grover, ‘is dear old Brownbelly Bruin, your Lover Bear. Stroke your Lover Bear. Kiss your Lover Bear. Take your Lover Bear home to bed with you. And remember. Only Love beats Milk, baby.’
    There was an assorted silence. Grover looked smug. Charlie and Bunty both looked queasy, for different reasons. Donovan, Johnson and Hugo all looked at one another, after which Johnson turned to the Greek and broke the silence by saying, ‘I want to buy all your bears. What’ll you take for them?’
    For of course, that was how the absent Rudi Klapper had meant to arrange for his ransom for Benedict. By ensuring that the right talking bear and the guy with the M.M.A. badge got together.
    I said, ‘Why didn’t the police think of that, then?’
    ‘They didn’t have Grover with them,’ said Johnson. He was still looking at Alexei the Grecian.
    ‘No sale,’ said Alexei. ‘I need them bears to run the stall with. They’ve stopped making them.’
    ‘O.K.’ said Johnson agreeably. He took out his wallet and flipped twenty dollars on to the counter. ‘We won’t take them away. That’s just for letting us pull all their talk-strings.’
    ‘Are you a weirdo?’ asked Alexei. ‘What good will them bears do with their strings broke? You cats piss off. You’re violating my privacy.’
    In silence Johnson licked off another ten dollar bill. Alexei let it lie. He said, ‘The law says you win them bears by shooting. You win ‘em by shooting and you got the law on your side. You try to force me to sell them and I’ll get a patrolman down on your neck and I mean it, man.’
    There were twenty-four bears on that stall. I’d been counting them.
    ‘There is no call to argue,’ said Hugo. ‘We summon the police. It is their business.’
    It was, of course. But meanwhile the Mallard kids had set upon Grover, and Sukey was yelling for sustenance. I said, ‘Suppose you all take the kids off for a feed, and Donovan and I will shoot till you’re finished? It’s worth a try. The police’ll keep us for ever.’
    ‘You’re going to shoot?’ said Alexei. He looked flustered.
    ‘Two rifles, brother,’ said Donovan.
    ‘Three,’ said Hugo. ‘You two mommas go feed the family while Daddy goes hunting. There’s a card that says guest of the management.’
    Charlotte took it, and she and Bunty pushed off with the children.
    ‘Three rifles?’ said Alexei cautiously.
    ‘Four,’ said Johnson stoically. He picked up a bill from the heap and pushed it over the counter. ‘You won’t reconsider?’
    Alexei shook his head, and he was probably right. This way he couldn’t lose, anyway.
    Although my back and left arm and elbows have never been quite the same since, I have sterling recollections of that competition.
    We settled down side by side, Donovan and I, and started to shoot. So did Johnson. After a chain of disasters that threatened to shiver his glasses, Johnson dropped regretfully out while Donovan and I, with the occasional