have. I can’t afford it right now. Stay with me through this crisis, Jack, and all this will be yours, just as I promised.”
Those words were not exactly what I wanted to hear. I thought I was ready to captain a fishing boat. Captain Kline had promised it to me, and now I felt that he was breaking his promise. At that moment, I closed my spirit to him and went right down that 12-step progression from an orphan heart to a spirit of oppression that we discussed in Chapter Two. My orphan heart influenced me to make choices that were subject to the mission of the father of lies. I regarded Captain Kline’s response as personal rejection andoffense. He had promised to make me captain but had not followed through. While technically true, that reality was also colored by my orphan’s attitude of what was “right” and “fair” to me. There was no room in my heart for decisions or actions that were right and fair for Captain Kline.
As my heart closed to him, I bought into other lies: “He doesn’t care about you. All he wanted was your service. He’s just been stringing you along.” Captain Kline
did
want my service; that much was true. But he had always intended to reward my service with an inheritance. From the perspective of my closed heart, however, I could no longer see it that way. This man who had poured his life and his heart into me for two years; this man who had paid me twice as much as most other mates because he loved me and wanted to make sure I was taken care of; this man who put me on a year-round salary instead of seasonal pay; this man who was my best friend and the first man I had ever really let into my life—and the only thing I could think about was that he had deceived me. I felt he was cheating me out of what was rightfully mine.
Captain Kline tried reasoning with me numerous times, but my orphan heart was so closed to him that I couldn’t receive what he was trying to say. I still worked the boat every day, but I refused to go up in the wheelhouse. He assured me that the captaincy was still mine someday if I would just hang in there with him for a little while longer, but I wouldn’t hear it. You see, orphans rarely look to the future. Their vision extends no farther than what makes them feel right immediately and comforts their pain
now
. I felt like I had been denied what was mine, and that was that. And in my mind, my feelings of being “right” justified my negative attitude. Subsequently, my heart was prepared to be deceived by an “angel of light.”
Inheritance Forsaken
The accuser of the brethren often comes to us as an angel of light in our moment of crisis. Usually, this angel of light is in the form of another person or opportunity that appears to promise blessing and fulfillment in our life. In my case, it was another boat owner whose captain wasn’t making him much money working his boat. He knew that Captain Kline had poured all his knowledge and experience into me, including knowledge of the locations of all his top fishing spots. Each captain possesses his own list of painstakingly acquired fishing spots that he keeps secret from everyone else because they provide him with a competitive edge. Any mate who has acquired (stolen) a fishing location from his captain can walk into any waterfront bar and sell it on the spot for as much as a thousand dollars. That’s how important they are.
This boat owner came up to me and said, “I see Captain Kline hasn’t made you captain yet. You know, it may be years before he does … if ever. I think he’s just taking advantage of you. I tell you what—if you come to work as captain for me, you’ll probably double your salary the first year.”
Even after considering these tempting words, I was still reluctant to leave Captain Kline after all he had done for me, so I tried to persuade him to follow through on his promise. I was tired of waiting. But he still had to say, “I’m sorry, Jack, but I can’t do it right now. Please
Those words were not exactly what I wanted to hear. I thought I was ready to captain a fishing boat. Captain Kline had promised it to me, and now I felt that he was breaking his promise. At that moment, I closed my spirit to him and went right down that 12-step progression from an orphan heart to a spirit of oppression that we discussed in Chapter Two. My orphan heart influenced me to make choices that were subject to the mission of the father of lies. I regarded Captain Kline’s response as personal rejection andoffense. He had promised to make me captain but had not followed through. While technically true, that reality was also colored by my orphan’s attitude of what was “right” and “fair” to me. There was no room in my heart for decisions or actions that were right and fair for Captain Kline.
As my heart closed to him, I bought into other lies: “He doesn’t care about you. All he wanted was your service. He’s just been stringing you along.” Captain Kline
did
want my service; that much was true. But he had always intended to reward my service with an inheritance. From the perspective of my closed heart, however, I could no longer see it that way. This man who had poured his life and his heart into me for two years; this man who had paid me twice as much as most other mates because he loved me and wanted to make sure I was taken care of; this man who put me on a year-round salary instead of seasonal pay; this man who was my best friend and the first man I had ever really let into my life—and the only thing I could think about was that he had deceived me. I felt he was cheating me out of what was rightfully mine.
Captain Kline tried reasoning with me numerous times, but my orphan heart was so closed to him that I couldn’t receive what he was trying to say. I still worked the boat every day, but I refused to go up in the wheelhouse. He assured me that the captaincy was still mine someday if I would just hang in there with him for a little while longer, but I wouldn’t hear it. You see, orphans rarely look to the future. Their vision extends no farther than what makes them feel right immediately and comforts their pain
now
. I felt like I had been denied what was mine, and that was that. And in my mind, my feelings of being “right” justified my negative attitude. Subsequently, my heart was prepared to be deceived by an “angel of light.”
Inheritance Forsaken
The accuser of the brethren often comes to us as an angel of light in our moment of crisis. Usually, this angel of light is in the form of another person or opportunity that appears to promise blessing and fulfillment in our life. In my case, it was another boat owner whose captain wasn’t making him much money working his boat. He knew that Captain Kline had poured all his knowledge and experience into me, including knowledge of the locations of all his top fishing spots. Each captain possesses his own list of painstakingly acquired fishing spots that he keeps secret from everyone else because they provide him with a competitive edge. Any mate who has acquired (stolen) a fishing location from his captain can walk into any waterfront bar and sell it on the spot for as much as a thousand dollars. That’s how important they are.
This boat owner came up to me and said, “I see Captain Kline hasn’t made you captain yet. You know, it may be years before he does … if ever. I think he’s just taking advantage of you. I tell you what—if you come to work as captain for me, you’ll probably double your salary the first year.”
Even after considering these tempting words, I was still reluctant to leave Captain Kline after all he had done for me, so I tried to persuade him to follow through on his promise. I was tired of waiting. But he still had to say, “I’m sorry, Jack, but I can’t do it right now. Please
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