urge to hide as her gaze locked on a slim platinum-blond woman dressed in too-short shorts.
Jayne?
The woman laughed in the center of the group; her head turned and Ava caught a clear view of her profile. Not Jayne.
“Jesus Christ,” said Mason. “What was that?” He studied her, his brow wrinkled. “You looked like you were about to dive under the table.” He turned to follow her gaze, and watched the group continue down the sidewalk. “Oh.” He looked back at her. “It was the blonde, wasn’t it?”
Ava gave a shaky nod.
“What went through your head?” His expression showed nothing but concern.
“I wanted to hide,” she said, her heart still pounding. “I didn’t want her to see me or see us or stop to talk to us.” She briefly covered her eyes. “Oh, my God, how wrong is that?”
“Not wrong at all. I’m pretty certain you prefer your calm life instead of the spinning mess that Jayne creates. I don’t think your reaction was overboard.”
Ava took a long drink of her ice water and set it down. “You don’t know the jolt it sent through my system.” Her limbs still tingled.
“I saw it clear as day on your face.” He scowled at her. “Stop beating yourself up about it. You haven’t seen her in months. And the last time you did see her, she wasn’t fit for human companionship.”
“I’m sorry,” she muttered. The waiter brought their food and she took a few bites of her salad, not tasting it.
“Screw this.” Mason set down his knife and looked at her earnestly. “I thought you’d learned not to let her affect you. We’ve got a good chance for a nice meal here. I don’t want Jayne McLane messing with my burger.”
He was absolutely right. She shook her head at him. “It snuck up on me. I talked to her on the phone this morning, and she sounded great.”
His brow rose and he popped a piece of bread in his mouth.
“I know it’s temporary. But I do like to talk with her when she’s normal.”
“You miss her.”
She sucked in a breath. “I miss the normal Jayne, but normal has always come with a large piece of crazy. I don’t think there’s been a time in our lives when she’s been one hundred percent normal.”
“What was your mother like?” Mason carefully buttered another piece of bread.
His casualness didn’t fool her. Was your mother mentally ill, too? “Other than two years of hell with her ovarian cancer at the end of her life, she wasn’t like Jayne. Ever.”
“And you never knew your father.”
“Right.”
“You’ve looked.” It wasn’t a question.
“I did after my mother died. I suspect she didn’t give us accurate information about his name and where he lived. The question is, was that deliberate or an accident? Maybe he was never honest with her.” It wasn’t a new discussion for her and Mason. They’d skirted around her family history a few times. Her past was like a partially healed scar. It’d been ripped open too many times, and she’d discovered the only way to let it mend was to completely avoid it. Mason had pressed her a few times about her parents, and she’d been brief. If she dug too much, the scar might tear wide open.
“I miss my mother,” she said softly. “She was a hardworking woman who never gave up. She knew Jayne wasn’t right in the head, but she didn’t believe in coddling her . . . or giving her special treatment when she was younger. She set expectations and we were to meet them. If we didn’t, there were consequences.”
“Sounds like my kind of woman.”
“She would have liked you,” Ava said. “She didn’t take crap from anyone . . . including Jayne.”
“Smart.”
“I rarely saw a soft side of her.” A small pain started at the site of the scar. “Her chin was always up. Looking back, I think she had to fight for everything. Her job, her independence, us.”
“She raised you well.”
Ava looked out the window. The passing group was long gone. Her emotions had been triggered as if
Jayne?
The woman laughed in the center of the group; her head turned and Ava caught a clear view of her profile. Not Jayne.
“Jesus Christ,” said Mason. “What was that?” He studied her, his brow wrinkled. “You looked like you were about to dive under the table.” He turned to follow her gaze, and watched the group continue down the sidewalk. “Oh.” He looked back at her. “It was the blonde, wasn’t it?”
Ava gave a shaky nod.
“What went through your head?” His expression showed nothing but concern.
“I wanted to hide,” she said, her heart still pounding. “I didn’t want her to see me or see us or stop to talk to us.” She briefly covered her eyes. “Oh, my God, how wrong is that?”
“Not wrong at all. I’m pretty certain you prefer your calm life instead of the spinning mess that Jayne creates. I don’t think your reaction was overboard.”
Ava took a long drink of her ice water and set it down. “You don’t know the jolt it sent through my system.” Her limbs still tingled.
“I saw it clear as day on your face.” He scowled at her. “Stop beating yourself up about it. You haven’t seen her in months. And the last time you did see her, she wasn’t fit for human companionship.”
“I’m sorry,” she muttered. The waiter brought their food and she took a few bites of her salad, not tasting it.
“Screw this.” Mason set down his knife and looked at her earnestly. “I thought you’d learned not to let her affect you. We’ve got a good chance for a nice meal here. I don’t want Jayne McLane messing with my burger.”
He was absolutely right. She shook her head at him. “It snuck up on me. I talked to her on the phone this morning, and she sounded great.”
His brow rose and he popped a piece of bread in his mouth.
“I know it’s temporary. But I do like to talk with her when she’s normal.”
“You miss her.”
She sucked in a breath. “I miss the normal Jayne, but normal has always come with a large piece of crazy. I don’t think there’s been a time in our lives when she’s been one hundred percent normal.”
“What was your mother like?” Mason carefully buttered another piece of bread.
His casualness didn’t fool her. Was your mother mentally ill, too? “Other than two years of hell with her ovarian cancer at the end of her life, she wasn’t like Jayne. Ever.”
“And you never knew your father.”
“Right.”
“You’ve looked.” It wasn’t a question.
“I did after my mother died. I suspect she didn’t give us accurate information about his name and where he lived. The question is, was that deliberate or an accident? Maybe he was never honest with her.” It wasn’t a new discussion for her and Mason. They’d skirted around her family history a few times. Her past was like a partially healed scar. It’d been ripped open too many times, and she’d discovered the only way to let it mend was to completely avoid it. Mason had pressed her a few times about her parents, and she’d been brief. If she dug too much, the scar might tear wide open.
“I miss my mother,” she said softly. “She was a hardworking woman who never gave up. She knew Jayne wasn’t right in the head, but she didn’t believe in coddling her . . . or giving her special treatment when she was younger. She set expectations and we were to meet them. If we didn’t, there were consequences.”
“Sounds like my kind of woman.”
“She would have liked you,” Ava said. “She didn’t take crap from anyone . . . including Jayne.”
“Smart.”
“I rarely saw a soft side of her.” A small pain started at the site of the scar. “Her chin was always up. Looking back, I think she had to fight for everything. Her job, her independence, us.”
“She raised you well.”
Ava looked out the window. The passing group was long gone. Her emotions had been triggered as if
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