suggestion?” Katie asks.
“Maybe, but it means redesigning our posters.” I explain that we might be able to disguise what we are doing if we hide our questions in posters that seem to be about something else. We can put something harmless in big letters across the top so teachers and administrators who walk by will just see a sign for some extracurricular activity or fund-raiser and not even pay attention. I grab a piece of paper and show Neil and Katie what I mean.
BAKE SALE
Student Council is having a bake sale Friday, February 26
All day in the cafeteria
We are trying to raise money for a school dance.
Please donate cookies, doughnuts, candy, cupcakes, or other baked goods.
Bring money to buy things.
Would you rather live your whole life with no candy or with two fingers missing from each hand?
SHOW YOUR SCHOOL SPIRIT
“It’s brilliant,” Neil says, and Katie actually jumps up and gives me a hug.
The next day, several posters announcing a bake sale appear on walls throughout the school. The following posters also appear:
INTERESTED IN STARTING A BAND?
Serious guitar player seeking singers and musicians who are into heavy metal and classic rock.
If you’re into Metallica, Iron Maiden,
Ozzy Osbourne, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, then would you like to get together to jam?
Would you rather spend your whole life with no music or drink one liter of vomit on your birthday every year?
FIRST MEETING FRIDAY, February 26, AFTER SCHOOL IN THE AUDITORIUM
SCIENCE CLUB MEETING
Thursday, February 25, during lunch Topic: Planning this year’s science fair
Come share your ideas and help make this year’s science fair the best ever!
Would you rather watch a kitten be dissected or watch your parents having sex?
Members and nonmembers welcome to attend.
Refreshments will be served.
By the end of the day, the signs have been removed, the principal and assistant principal have visited every classroom trying to find out who is behind it all, and the hallways are buzzing with heated debates on the questions we have posed.
“Your parents, dude. That’s so sick.”
“Not as sick as seeing a kitten cut up.”
“The kitten’s already dead.”
“How do you know?”
“You never dissect animals when they’re still alive.”
“Can you believe this?” Neil whispers as we stand by our lockers.
I shake my head. As exciting and incredible and unbelievable as this all is, I am still convinced it will not end well. The investigation that the administration has started has left me rattled.
“Katie wants to get a school directory and start mailing out questions to people we hate.”
“She’s crazy,” I say.
“I’m going over to her house later. You wanna come?”
I shake my head. “I’ve gotta work on my memoir.”
It’s actually not such a leap from our game to what I’m writing. Right now I’m working on a story about my mentally unstable grandmother, who made me watch a pornographic movie with her when I was fourteen.
“You want us to send any letters for you?” Neil asks.
I laugh. “No way. I don’t want any part of this.”
The one person I would have considered is Celeste, but lately she’s been acting so friendly toward me that I would almost think she was interested if I didn’t know better.
As it turns out, Neil and Katie don’t end up sending any letters. What happens instead, Neil tells me on the way to school the next day, is they finish half a bottle of vodka, realize they’re too drunk to write, and decide to make out instead.
“So I hear you didn’t get to the letters yesterday,” I say to Katie at lunch.
She shoots Neil a dirty look.
“That’s okay,” I say, smiling. “It’s much nicer to write love notes anyway.”
“Fuck you.”
“Ooh,” Neil says, “I love the dirty talk,” and we both start to laugh.
“Screw both of you.” Katie
“Maybe, but it means redesigning our posters.” I explain that we might be able to disguise what we are doing if we hide our questions in posters that seem to be about something else. We can put something harmless in big letters across the top so teachers and administrators who walk by will just see a sign for some extracurricular activity or fund-raiser and not even pay attention. I grab a piece of paper and show Neil and Katie what I mean.
BAKE SALE
Student Council is having a bake sale Friday, February 26
All day in the cafeteria
We are trying to raise money for a school dance.
Please donate cookies, doughnuts, candy, cupcakes, or other baked goods.
Bring money to buy things.
Would you rather live your whole life with no candy or with two fingers missing from each hand?
SHOW YOUR SCHOOL SPIRIT
“It’s brilliant,” Neil says, and Katie actually jumps up and gives me a hug.
The next day, several posters announcing a bake sale appear on walls throughout the school. The following posters also appear:
INTERESTED IN STARTING A BAND?
Serious guitar player seeking singers and musicians who are into heavy metal and classic rock.
If you’re into Metallica, Iron Maiden,
Ozzy Osbourne, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, then would you like to get together to jam?
Would you rather spend your whole life with no music or drink one liter of vomit on your birthday every year?
FIRST MEETING FRIDAY, February 26, AFTER SCHOOL IN THE AUDITORIUM
SCIENCE CLUB MEETING
Thursday, February 25, during lunch Topic: Planning this year’s science fair
Come share your ideas and help make this year’s science fair the best ever!
Would you rather watch a kitten be dissected or watch your parents having sex?
Members and nonmembers welcome to attend.
Refreshments will be served.
By the end of the day, the signs have been removed, the principal and assistant principal have visited every classroom trying to find out who is behind it all, and the hallways are buzzing with heated debates on the questions we have posed.
“Your parents, dude. That’s so sick.”
“Not as sick as seeing a kitten cut up.”
“The kitten’s already dead.”
“How do you know?”
“You never dissect animals when they’re still alive.”
“Can you believe this?” Neil whispers as we stand by our lockers.
I shake my head. As exciting and incredible and unbelievable as this all is, I am still convinced it will not end well. The investigation that the administration has started has left me rattled.
“Katie wants to get a school directory and start mailing out questions to people we hate.”
“She’s crazy,” I say.
“I’m going over to her house later. You wanna come?”
I shake my head. “I’ve gotta work on my memoir.”
It’s actually not such a leap from our game to what I’m writing. Right now I’m working on a story about my mentally unstable grandmother, who made me watch a pornographic movie with her when I was fourteen.
“You want us to send any letters for you?” Neil asks.
I laugh. “No way. I don’t want any part of this.”
The one person I would have considered is Celeste, but lately she’s been acting so friendly toward me that I would almost think she was interested if I didn’t know better.
As it turns out, Neil and Katie don’t end up sending any letters. What happens instead, Neil tells me on the way to school the next day, is they finish half a bottle of vodka, realize they’re too drunk to write, and decide to make out instead.
“So I hear you didn’t get to the letters yesterday,” I say to Katie at lunch.
She shoots Neil a dirty look.
“That’s okay,” I say, smiling. “It’s much nicer to write love notes anyway.”
“Fuck you.”
“Ooh,” Neil says, “I love the dirty talk,” and we both start to laugh.
“Screw both of you.” Katie
Similar Books
