us in his inner circle knew differently.
"Gregori," I said, "you do know none of this is your fault?"
Gregori refused to meet my eyes. He continued to stare at his feet, unwilling to contradict me although I know he wanted to. Why was it no one argued with me now? Gregori took blame on himself for things he had no control over. For all of his appearance, he was a gentle soul burdened by a strong empathic nature.
"Come here." I patted the space next to me. Reluctantly, with heavy steps, Gregori made his way across the room and perched on the edge of the couch, ready to take off at a moment's notice. I gently coaxed him to lean back against me. I could feel the tension radiating from him and rubbed my hands up and down his arms, putting my chin on his shoulder.
"You, my friend, aren't the cause of my problems."
Gregori gave a wounded sound and tried to pull away from me.
I moved quickly, hooking my legs around his, immobilizing him as I anchored him to me. "No, you will listen to me. My troubles are my own. You heard Nathan tell me my life, who I am, is a lie. You heard how the assassins made me an orphan. We were brought up to believe the royal line died out three hundred years ago and yet here I am."
"I brought Caspian here," Gregori snapped. "He tried to take Ushna, about killed him, and would've killed you. That's my fault. If I hadn't fought the Magi and simply conformed…"
"Then you wouldn't be the man I know you to be," I said calmly into his ear.
Gregori pushed at my arms in a panic, trying to get up. He trembled with suppressed emotion in my secure embrace. "No," slipped from his lips, barely audible in its agonized release.
I held on to him until he tired, until he realized I wasn't going to let him go. Ushna began stroking Gregori's hair. With a silent sob, Gregori relaxed in my arms and laid his head on my shoulder. Ushna wiped away Gregori's tears.
"Hear my words, Gregori," I said with the voice of authority I rarely used. "It's not your fault Caspian ended up here. I believe their goal was to take Ushna from me and you were the bonus. A strong ward was placed on me, one that would kill me if I was touched by the power of the Goddess. Only a Magi could do that. My family was hunted by a secret group for three hundred years. Because I'm gay, I wasn't a threat because I wouldn't have children. Because I didn't show signs of my royal line, I was left alone until Ushna went Lupe and obeyed my command. This was reported to the council and whoever is leading this secret group, whether they are a part of the council or a spy, couldn't take the chance I'd bond with Ushna or gain the power of the royal line. They would've known Ushna was the only one keeping me alive after the Breaking and thought if they took him from me I'd fade. But they were too late. I'd gained the power of my ancestors and Ushna became my consort before they sent Caspian to take him away. This is what I believe."
"Why would it matter if you bonded with Ushna?"
I looked at Ushna, silently asking him if I should tell Gregori all. He gave a small nod. "Because we can have children. The royal line won't stop with me. Whoever this secret group is knew that, yet the knowledge of it had been lost to the rest of us until recently."
"You're shittin' me!" Gregori craned his head to look at me.
Both Ushna and I laughed. "Afraid not." I released Gregori. "None of this is your fault and I'm not going to let you take responsibility for the actions of others. Ushna and I've been talking about your father. I need to know where his allegiance lies. Would you be willing to speak to him?" I didn't like placing Gregori between us and his father but there was no other way of getting the information without revealing ourselves prematurely to my enemy in the Magi Order.
Gregori's silver-grey eyes hardened. "I'll find out what my father knows."
There appeared to be some strain in Gregori's relationship with his father and I tried to recall what I remembered of the man, which
"Gregori," I said, "you do know none of this is your fault?"
Gregori refused to meet my eyes. He continued to stare at his feet, unwilling to contradict me although I know he wanted to. Why was it no one argued with me now? Gregori took blame on himself for things he had no control over. For all of his appearance, he was a gentle soul burdened by a strong empathic nature.
"Come here." I patted the space next to me. Reluctantly, with heavy steps, Gregori made his way across the room and perched on the edge of the couch, ready to take off at a moment's notice. I gently coaxed him to lean back against me. I could feel the tension radiating from him and rubbed my hands up and down his arms, putting my chin on his shoulder.
"You, my friend, aren't the cause of my problems."
Gregori gave a wounded sound and tried to pull away from me.
I moved quickly, hooking my legs around his, immobilizing him as I anchored him to me. "No, you will listen to me. My troubles are my own. You heard Nathan tell me my life, who I am, is a lie. You heard how the assassins made me an orphan. We were brought up to believe the royal line died out three hundred years ago and yet here I am."
"I brought Caspian here," Gregori snapped. "He tried to take Ushna, about killed him, and would've killed you. That's my fault. If I hadn't fought the Magi and simply conformed…"
"Then you wouldn't be the man I know you to be," I said calmly into his ear.
Gregori pushed at my arms in a panic, trying to get up. He trembled with suppressed emotion in my secure embrace. "No," slipped from his lips, barely audible in its agonized release.
I held on to him until he tired, until he realized I wasn't going to let him go. Ushna began stroking Gregori's hair. With a silent sob, Gregori relaxed in my arms and laid his head on my shoulder. Ushna wiped away Gregori's tears.
"Hear my words, Gregori," I said with the voice of authority I rarely used. "It's not your fault Caspian ended up here. I believe their goal was to take Ushna from me and you were the bonus. A strong ward was placed on me, one that would kill me if I was touched by the power of the Goddess. Only a Magi could do that. My family was hunted by a secret group for three hundred years. Because I'm gay, I wasn't a threat because I wouldn't have children. Because I didn't show signs of my royal line, I was left alone until Ushna went Lupe and obeyed my command. This was reported to the council and whoever is leading this secret group, whether they are a part of the council or a spy, couldn't take the chance I'd bond with Ushna or gain the power of the royal line. They would've known Ushna was the only one keeping me alive after the Breaking and thought if they took him from me I'd fade. But they were too late. I'd gained the power of my ancestors and Ushna became my consort before they sent Caspian to take him away. This is what I believe."
"Why would it matter if you bonded with Ushna?"
I looked at Ushna, silently asking him if I should tell Gregori all. He gave a small nod. "Because we can have children. The royal line won't stop with me. Whoever this secret group is knew that, yet the knowledge of it had been lost to the rest of us until recently."
"You're shittin' me!" Gregori craned his head to look at me.
Both Ushna and I laughed. "Afraid not." I released Gregori. "None of this is your fault and I'm not going to let you take responsibility for the actions of others. Ushna and I've been talking about your father. I need to know where his allegiance lies. Would you be willing to speak to him?" I didn't like placing Gregori between us and his father but there was no other way of getting the information without revealing ourselves prematurely to my enemy in the Magi Order.
Gregori's silver-grey eyes hardened. "I'll find out what my father knows."
There appeared to be some strain in Gregori's relationship with his father and I tried to recall what I remembered of the man, which
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