Songbird by Victoria Escobar Page A

thing or I’ll take the belt to you again. I
swear you weren’t spanked enough as a child.”
    “Get out,” he roared spinning around to face
me. “Get the fuck out.”
    I marched across the wreckage of the room,
and thankfully my heels put me at eye level to him. I lifted a hand
and slapped him across the face with all the force I could muster.
I’d officially had enough of his anger to last a lifetime. “Don’t
you fucking talk to me like that. I am so sick and tired of your
fucking childish behavior. Act like a grown fucking adult.”
    The hand that had slapped across his face was
grabbed at the wrist so fast I barely had time to protest. His
rapid movement blocked the hand I raised against his naked chest
denying me leverage to shove him away. He twisted us around and
pinned me to the mirror with his body. The breath knocked out of me
and then rushed back so fast I sounded like I had run a mile. He
didn’t notice.
    My hand was pulled above my head and firmly
shoved against the cold glass. His free hand caught my flailing
hand and pushed that up to rest next to my other hand.
    His mouth wasn’t gentle against mine. His
teeth nipped and his stubble burned. His anger translated all too
clearly in his hard press and ragged breathing.
    I didn’t fight him. I wasn’t strong enough to
fight him, I knew that. And fighting him could make things a hell
of a lot worse.
    Closing my eyes I waited for the storm to
pass. I wasn’t sure what I would do, could do if he tried anything
other than kiss me and the fear of that send a trickle of tears
down my cheek.
    My heart stumbled then picked up and rapped
against my ribcage in the fleeting beats of terror. My stomach
roiled and churned. I fisted my hands and tried to close everything
off, tried to bring back my calm.
    I didn’t want to remember the violent anger;
the beatings until I was subdued and had no strength left in me to
fight. I didn’t want the memories of my distant past out of their
box and polluting my head with their lies.
    You’re too fat. You’re too ugly. You’ll never
amount to anything. You’re worthless. Be grateful you have us. Be
grateful we take care of you. Be grateful we love you.
    They were wrong. That wasn’t love. That had
been sick obsession that killed a man and nearly killed me.
    I felt Nicholas’s forehead rest against mine
when he drew away from my mouth. His breathing was still uneven,
and hard. He turned his head enough to rub his cheek against bare
skin. I was somewhere between panting and sobbing and took great
deep breaths to regain control.
    “Songbird.” His anger appeared drained but I
didn’t open my eyes to find out. “I—”
    “Please get your clothes and go over to the
other dressing room to finish getting ready.” My voice was
deceptively calm and steady, but my body shook. I couldn’t control
the violent tremors and I didn’t try.
    He released my hands, stepped back a pace but
I still felt the heat from his body. I let my hands fall to my
sides but I made no other move. I felt his fingers wipe the wet
streak on my cheek.
    “Songbird…” Something churned in his voice
that I didn’t have the strength or courage to examine at the
moment.
    “Walker, I’m asking you to give me some time.
Please.” My voice cracked but I still didn’t move. I couldn’t move
yet. Fear had broken my legs.
    He wiped the tears on my other cheek but
didn’t say anything. I heard him move around and then the quiet
click of the door.
    When I opened my eyes, I confirmed I was
alone. I raced on wobbly legs over to the bathroom and stumbled
against the porcelain basin as my stomach lost its contents. My
body racked with shakes and I couldn’t rise from the floor when I
finished. I curled up and waited for it to pass.
    He hadn’t physically hurt me. I knew he
wouldn’t. Nicholas wouldn’t hurt me. I made sure that thought, that
idea was solid and undoubtable. Nicholas would never physically
hurt me.
    I wasn’t scared of his fists.