the spacious yet bare-looking condo that didn't quite feel like home yet, he realized he actually felt more comfortable at Penny's house. He still hadn't unloaded most of his boxes, the cabinets were empty, the walls and tabletops, too, whereas at Penny's, everything was warm and tidy and inviting. But then he shook his head. Don't even go there. He'd been smart to leave, smart to put his job and his future first. Of course, being so smart had also left him feeling like a jerk, because he'd seen the pain in her eyes and he'd ignored it. Just walked away.
Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he popped the top and let out a sigh. He was an ass. For approaching her in the foyer like that, for letting his desires get the best of him, for running out on her like some kind of coward the moment he'd come to his senses.
It would've been so damn easy to stay, and he wished he was in bed with her right now, holding her afterward, talking, laughing—he hadn't been able to do any of that the first time. He loved Penny's laugh. And he loved the way she scrunched up her nose when something irritated her. Even her feet had been sexy. It was just a shame she hadn't turned out to be the simple girl he'd originally thought.
The way he'd wanted her tonight had nearly ripped him apart inside, and the unfulfilled ache still lingered between his legs. But just like last night, even as much as he regretted the reality of their situation, he'd known leaving was best. Even as that phone call had ruined something close to sheer perfection, it had also saved him.
Just then, he caught sight of the little red light blinking across the room. He was surprised to see he had a phone message, unsure who would be calling him. Unless it was Penny, and he doubted she even had his number. Or Martin, God forbid. He wasn't sure how he'd ever face his boss again, but at least he had a few more days before he had to. A few more days to try to get this whole thing with Penny into the past, where it wouldn't seem quite so overwhelming.
Taking a long swallow of beer, he crossed the ceramic tile and pressed the playback button. "Hello, Ryan, it's your mother." She always did that, always told him who she was, as if he wouldn't be able to tell. "Your father and I wanted to see if you're getting settled, but I guess you're not home. We'll talk to you soon."
According to the clock on the microwave, it was almost ten, so if he called back right now, he'd catch them before they went to bed. Not that he was particularly in the mood to chat with his parents. Oh, he loved them and knew they loved him, too, but he had enough on his mind already without having to hear the latest wonderful news about his older brother, which any conversation with his mom and dad was sure to produce.
Thinking about that old swing in the yard today had briefly reminded Ryan that, once upon a time, he and Dan had been close, but that was ancient history. Just like with his parents, he loved his brother, yet they'd grown apart. They were very different people and their lives had led them down opposite paths. Dan was the smart one, the selfless one, the settled one—the perfect son. He was everything two parents could hope for, and though Ryan didn't think his mom and dad intended for him to feel Dan was their favorite, he still did.
Taking another sip of beer, Ryan let that remind him just how much he didn't want to screw up again. He'd never been a bad kid, but it was hard living up to a brother like Dan. No matter what good things Ryan accomplished, it was the bad that seemed to stand out next to his brother's perfection. He could still hear the disappointment in his father's voice along with his mother's despairing sigh when he'd told them about losing his job at ComData. The worst part was that they hadn't sounded very surprised.
Grabbing the phone before he talked himself out of it, Ryan dialed the same phone number his family had had since he was a little boy.
"Hello?" His father's voice
Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he popped the top and let out a sigh. He was an ass. For approaching her in the foyer like that, for letting his desires get the best of him, for running out on her like some kind of coward the moment he'd come to his senses.
It would've been so damn easy to stay, and he wished he was in bed with her right now, holding her afterward, talking, laughing—he hadn't been able to do any of that the first time. He loved Penny's laugh. And he loved the way she scrunched up her nose when something irritated her. Even her feet had been sexy. It was just a shame she hadn't turned out to be the simple girl he'd originally thought.
The way he'd wanted her tonight had nearly ripped him apart inside, and the unfulfilled ache still lingered between his legs. But just like last night, even as much as he regretted the reality of their situation, he'd known leaving was best. Even as that phone call had ruined something close to sheer perfection, it had also saved him.
Just then, he caught sight of the little red light blinking across the room. He was surprised to see he had a phone message, unsure who would be calling him. Unless it was Penny, and he doubted she even had his number. Or Martin, God forbid. He wasn't sure how he'd ever face his boss again, but at least he had a few more days before he had to. A few more days to try to get this whole thing with Penny into the past, where it wouldn't seem quite so overwhelming.
Taking a long swallow of beer, he crossed the ceramic tile and pressed the playback button. "Hello, Ryan, it's your mother." She always did that, always told him who she was, as if he wouldn't be able to tell. "Your father and I wanted to see if you're getting settled, but I guess you're not home. We'll talk to you soon."
According to the clock on the microwave, it was almost ten, so if he called back right now, he'd catch them before they went to bed. Not that he was particularly in the mood to chat with his parents. Oh, he loved them and knew they loved him, too, but he had enough on his mind already without having to hear the latest wonderful news about his older brother, which any conversation with his mom and dad was sure to produce.
Thinking about that old swing in the yard today had briefly reminded Ryan that, once upon a time, he and Dan had been close, but that was ancient history. Just like with his parents, he loved his brother, yet they'd grown apart. They were very different people and their lives had led them down opposite paths. Dan was the smart one, the selfless one, the settled one—the perfect son. He was everything two parents could hope for, and though Ryan didn't think his mom and dad intended for him to feel Dan was their favorite, he still did.
Taking another sip of beer, Ryan let that remind him just how much he didn't want to screw up again. He'd never been a bad kid, but it was hard living up to a brother like Dan. No matter what good things Ryan accomplished, it was the bad that seemed to stand out next to his brother's perfection. He could still hear the disappointment in his father's voice along with his mother's despairing sigh when he'd told them about losing his job at ComData. The worst part was that they hadn't sounded very surprised.
Grabbing the phone before he talked himself out of it, Ryan dialed the same phone number his family had had since he was a little boy.
"Hello?" His father's voice
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