Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We're In Trouble! (The Toad Witch Mysteries Book 2) by Christiana Miller Page B
Authors: Christiana Miller
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direction. I didn’t know if they could see her as clearly as I could, but they could definitely sense her.
“Leave the child be,” my mom said, softly. “It’s too late. The process has already begun. The dominoes are starting to fall.”
“What exactly does that mean? No dominoes,” I said. “Forget the dominoes. Life is not a game of dominoes. It’s never too late.”
Aunt Tillie looked at my mom. “I would have expected something more intelligent out of your side, Adele. She must take after her father. I warned you adding human blood into the mix was a bad idea.”
“Hey!” I protested. “I’m sitting right here.”
“Hush,” Aunt Tillie hissed.
From the edges of the forest, I could see wraith-like figures closing in on the gathering. They were extremely tall, with long hooded cloaks.
Inside me, I could feel the baby turning to look at them.
“What in the world…?”
As the cloaked figures got closer, the spirits in the cemetery vanished, one by one.
Chapter 22
“W ell, that was interesting,” I muttered.
“Hope you’re hungry!” Gus hollered, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked over and laughed.
Gus looked like a ridiculously sexy, gender-bending escapee from Rocky Horror Picture Show . He was all decked out, from a black leather corset, bright blue mini-skirt and fishnet stockings to a pearl necklace, blue feather boa and platform glitter heels. The look was finished off with heavy Goth make-up and a black cape with a brilliant blue lining.
Forrest, on the other hand, looked scary and kind of awesome. His face was painted like a harlequin skull, and he was wearing a court jester’s outfit, a crown-like hat with bells on the points, and a crooked sign around his neck proclaiming him the Lord of Misrule, but Misrule had been crossed out and replaced with Gus’s Rule in blue marker. Strapped to his waist was a black, white and red pole with a skull at the top wearing a mini-jester’s hat.
They were both loaded down with food, carrying a platter in each hand. With the way Gus was teetering on his heels, I wasn’t sure he’d actually make it to the table before he lost his balance.
Aramis and Apollo ran towards them, joyful at the prospect of up-ending Gus and enjoying a free meal.
“Starved,” I called back. I could feel the baby settling back down, now that all the wraiths were gone. I clapped my hands. “Hallelujah, the victuals have arrived. Thank the Gods.”
“I always love being the answer to people’s prayers,” Forrest said, grinning, giving his skeletal make-up an even eerier appearance.
They both navigated the Doberman crew and made it to the table, platters intact, where I helped them lay out the main feast: Slow-cooked leg of lamb with fresh oregano and rosemary, roasted potatoes sprinkled with dill, finished off with a side of spinach and rice in a tomato sauce base. There was also Greek Spaghetti baked in tomato sauce, with freshly-ground black pepper and myzhithra cheese, since I was having a hard time dealing with meat these days.
It was an embarrassment of riches, and easily, a three thousand calorie dinner.
Once all the food was on the table, Gus did an elaborate invocation of spirit. He quoted Shakespeare, lit more candles, rang the bell and pounded on the hearthstone with the wand.
“I call on all our ancestors,
Kith and kin to join us, in this time of Gus’s Rule.
Red threads and black, white threads and grey.
Mingle, mingle, mingle who may.
Round and about, thout a tout tout,
The good stay in and the bad stay out!”
I looked around, expecting to see a repeat rolling in of the wraiths.
But there was nothing.
I tried to open a mental door to the other side, and it was swiftly closed in my face.
“Fantastic calling. Let’s eat.” Forrest said, sitting down.
“That was one of my better ones.” Gus seemed pleased with himself as he added food to the plate I had started for the dead. He poured a glass of each of the wines and
“Leave the child be,” my mom said, softly. “It’s too late. The process has already begun. The dominoes are starting to fall.”
“What exactly does that mean? No dominoes,” I said. “Forget the dominoes. Life is not a game of dominoes. It’s never too late.”
Aunt Tillie looked at my mom. “I would have expected something more intelligent out of your side, Adele. She must take after her father. I warned you adding human blood into the mix was a bad idea.”
“Hey!” I protested. “I’m sitting right here.”
“Hush,” Aunt Tillie hissed.
From the edges of the forest, I could see wraith-like figures closing in on the gathering. They were extremely tall, with long hooded cloaks.
Inside me, I could feel the baby turning to look at them.
“What in the world…?”
As the cloaked figures got closer, the spirits in the cemetery vanished, one by one.
Chapter 22
“W ell, that was interesting,” I muttered.
“Hope you’re hungry!” Gus hollered, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked over and laughed.
Gus looked like a ridiculously sexy, gender-bending escapee from Rocky Horror Picture Show . He was all decked out, from a black leather corset, bright blue mini-skirt and fishnet stockings to a pearl necklace, blue feather boa and platform glitter heels. The look was finished off with heavy Goth make-up and a black cape with a brilliant blue lining.
Forrest, on the other hand, looked scary and kind of awesome. His face was painted like a harlequin skull, and he was wearing a court jester’s outfit, a crown-like hat with bells on the points, and a crooked sign around his neck proclaiming him the Lord of Misrule, but Misrule had been crossed out and replaced with Gus’s Rule in blue marker. Strapped to his waist was a black, white and red pole with a skull at the top wearing a mini-jester’s hat.
They were both loaded down with food, carrying a platter in each hand. With the way Gus was teetering on his heels, I wasn’t sure he’d actually make it to the table before he lost his balance.
Aramis and Apollo ran towards them, joyful at the prospect of up-ending Gus and enjoying a free meal.
“Starved,” I called back. I could feel the baby settling back down, now that all the wraiths were gone. I clapped my hands. “Hallelujah, the victuals have arrived. Thank the Gods.”
“I always love being the answer to people’s prayers,” Forrest said, grinning, giving his skeletal make-up an even eerier appearance.
They both navigated the Doberman crew and made it to the table, platters intact, where I helped them lay out the main feast: Slow-cooked leg of lamb with fresh oregano and rosemary, roasted potatoes sprinkled with dill, finished off with a side of spinach and rice in a tomato sauce base. There was also Greek Spaghetti baked in tomato sauce, with freshly-ground black pepper and myzhithra cheese, since I was having a hard time dealing with meat these days.
It was an embarrassment of riches, and easily, a three thousand calorie dinner.
Once all the food was on the table, Gus did an elaborate invocation of spirit. He quoted Shakespeare, lit more candles, rang the bell and pounded on the hearthstone with the wand.
“I call on all our ancestors,
Kith and kin to join us, in this time of Gus’s Rule.
Red threads and black, white threads and grey.
Mingle, mingle, mingle who may.
Round and about, thout a tout tout,
The good stay in and the bad stay out!”
I looked around, expecting to see a repeat rolling in of the wraiths.
But there was nothing.
I tried to open a mental door to the other side, and it was swiftly closed in my face.
“Fantastic calling. Let’s eat.” Forrest said, sitting down.
“That was one of my better ones.” Gus seemed pleased with himself as he added food to the plate I had started for the dead. He poured a glass of each of the wines and
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