and say, “You can tell
me.”
“Okay,” he says, “before I say anything I
want you to know you don’t have to. Okay? You have the right to say
no.”
Then I think maybe all he wants is to try
something kinky in the bedroom. In our time together, he’s never
asked to fuck me in the ass (something I thought most guys probably
did by like the fifth date) and he’s never asked to come in my
mouth or ... anything out of the ordinary, really. Okay, I guess
you could say our sex life was bountiful but somewhat vanilla.
“Daniel, just ask me. I won’t be mad at
you.”
He exhales sharply and says, “You can’t
promise something like that until you’ve heard what I need to tell
you.”
I take my hand away from his thigh. I now
think maybe it’s something bad. I’m still a little confused, not
sure if he wants to ask me something or tell me
something.
Or both.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m not good with suspense.
Out with it.”
As he speaks, I feel myself get angrier and
angrier.
“When I said my parents were rich, I lied to
you. Well, I didn’t really lie about that. They are rich, but I
don’t see any of their money. Not until I’ve graduated college and
go work for my father and all that. Until that day, I don’t see a
penny of it. So this house is ... rented. I felt like you deserved
it. I did this for you and I also thought it would make me seem
more successful. But I’m three months’ behind and I’m getting
evicted tomorrow.”
I panic. I know I can’t go back to live with
my mom and dad. All of my friends have already left the state to
start school. I have a vision of being suddenly homeless. And I
know it only applies to me because Daniel will just go back and
live with his rich parents in their house that’s even nicer than
this one. And the way he talks about his parents, I know there’s no way I’m going to be going with him.
“What are we going to do?” Now I am crying.
Everything has gone from being great to terrible.
“Some of the work I’ve been doing,” Daniel
says, “has been for some pretty questionable characters. I’ve just
been doing bookwork but I think they might be in the adult film
industry or possibly even something involving drugs or
prostitution.” He sighs and looks at the ceiling. “It’s stupid, I
know, but anyway, that’s who this house is rented from.”
“Are they going to ... hurt you or
something?”
“They might. I mean, three months’ rent on
this place is a lot of money.”
“I don’t have anything or I would happily
give it to you.”
“Actually... you do have something they might
want.”
My heart starts hammering in my chest. I really don’t have anything.
“Like I said,” he says again, “you have the
right to say no.”
“What could I possibly have that they’d
want?”
Daniel coughs and goes back to wringing his
hands. “They said we could stay here for as long as we want if I
let them use you for one night. There.”
He slumps back on the couch like some great
weight has been lifted but I have a million and one thoughts flying
through my head. ‘They’? Jesus, how many of them are there? ‘Use
me’? I mean, I’m pretty sure what they mean by that but, come on,
they can’t be serious, can they? Isn’t that illegal? Should we go
to the police? And, wow, was Daniel really going to go along with
this? Did he say it was okay? Well, obviously he did if he’s
willing to rent me out to his friends for a night. I almost want to
say yes just to make him feel bad but, obviously, the first thing
that I blurt out is, “No! Fuck no! Daniel, you’re the only person
I’ve been with. My god! I can’t even believe you would fucking ask
me something like that! Am I just a fucking whore to you?”
“No no, baby. I love you more than anything.
You know that. Just ... well, I don’t want you to say yes. It’s
just that, when you find yourself without a place to live tomorrow,
I wanted you to know why ... And to know all of
Fuyumi Ono
Tailley (MC 6)
Robert Graysmith
Rich Restucci
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Robin Jones Gunn
Linda Lael Miller
Nancy Springer