So Many Reasons Why by Missy Johnson Page A

door was still
wide open. His kisses intensified, his hand cupping the nape of my neck. I was
vaguely aware of where this was going, yet I didn't want him to stop. His hand
moved down my thigh, lifting my skirt higher.
    I began to panic. This was all wrong.
    “Simon, no.” He looked down at me, his eyes awash with
confusion. He'd stopped right away. I tried to move away from his grasp. He
held onto my hands and pulled me into his arms.
    “It’s okay Em. As slow as you need to go.”
    I knew then, right at that moment, I loved this man. I might
not be able to show him that yet, but I loved him more than I've loved anything
in this world. He gently eased me out of his arms.
    “Let’s sit down. We can watch some TV.” He suggested. I
smiled, nodding. He turned on the TV. An episode of The Late Show was playing. Neither of us were focusing on that
though. His eyes were gazing at me. I felt embarrassed. Why was he staring at
me? I bit my lip. He groaned, pulling my lip out of the clutches of my tooth.
    “If you keep dong that I will have to kiss you. You have no
idea how crazy you make me.” He nuzzled up to me, kissing my neck. I led his
face to mine, letting his lips enclose around mine. “You are amazing Emma.
Simply amazing.”
    That night we kissed. We kissed for hours, barely taking a
moment to focus on anything but each other.
    By the end of the night, all I wanted was for him to kiss me
again.
     
    “So how have things been this week, Emma?” I hesitated, conflicted
on whether or not to tell Doctor Mellow about Simon.
    “Good.” I began slowly. “I have been trying to work though
things in my head.” I glanced toward the balcony. “I’ve managed to sit a chair
in the doorway of the balcony with the door.”
    “That is a wonderful start, Emma. You need to keep pushing
yourself. Each day go a little bit further.” He scratched his elbow through the
thick material that was his plaid jacket.
    From a parachute tracksuit to a plaid suit? Seriously? I
suppressed a laugh, glad that his ability to understand the mind was more
advanced than his fashion sense.  “And have you found something to
distract yourself with?”
    “Someone.” I corrected. Dr Mellow looked at me, confused.
“I’ve met someone.” He looked surprised by this. Shocked even.
    “Oh?”
    “His name is Simon. When I’m around him, I don’t think about
things. And when I’m not with him, I think about him.” Should I tell him? “What
I tell you has to stay between us, right?”
    “Right.” He spoke slowly.
    “Simon is my professor. We started communicating as friends,
and now things have progressed.”
    “Progressed?” Dr Mellow frowned over the edges of his
glasses.
    “Yes. We can’t be just friends.”
    “Emma, are you sure this Simon isn’t taking advantage of you
and your situation?” Dr Mellow scribbled in his notebook, which unnerved me. I
didn’t want any risk of this getting out.
    “Can you not record this?”
    “Pardon?”
    “I don’t want to risk this getting out. If you write it
don’t then there is a trace. There is evidence.” My voice became louder as I
spoke. I suddenly wanted to take back the last few minutes. Why did I mention
him? “You have to keep this to yourself by law, right?”
    “Emma, this information won’t leave this room. Tell me more
about this man. How does he make you feel?” I glanced uncertainly at his
notebook. Hesitation overtook me before I continued.
    “He makes me feel loved.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I can’t
really describe how he makes me feel. There are no words strong enough to
properly convey how he makes me feel. Nothing even comes close.”
    “How long have you been seeing him?”
    “A week and a half. Almost two weeks.”
     

Chapter Twelve
    “So I have a rather strange question that might make you
want to run for the hills.”
    That made me sit upright in bed. I dropped my phone, sending
it crashing onto the hardwood floor. I struggled out of the tangle