this way. With snow and trees, home-made baking and carols.
Jason played the religious standards next, Away in a Manger, Silent Night, We Three Kings. When he began the opening chords to the vocally-challenging O Holy Night, everyone grew silent, except for his wife.
Sydney had a beautiful, soulful voice that reminded Eliza of Sarah McLachlan’s. Shivers of delight tingled up Eliza’s spine as Sydney carried the tune to the climactic and emotional peak, before softening into a reverent conclusion. She noticed Jason glance up at his wife, tears glistening in his eyes.
Forgetting her new resolve to avoid him, Eliza glanced at Marshall. He was staring into the fire, looking sad. She wondered if he was thinking of his brother.
There was a collective sigh, and Jason dropped his hands onto his lap.
“That was so beautiful. I think we’ll stop there.” He got up from the bench and gave his wife a tender kiss.
Then Betsy was back, offering herbal teas and cocoa and more plates of cookies. Though still full from dinner, Eliza was unable to resist a cup of peppermint tea and one more shortbread cookie. The fact that they had been cut into snowflake shapes struck her as totally apropos, something she remarked to Sydney when the other woman perched on the chair beside hers.
“This has turned out to be one of my favorite Christmas’s,” Sydney said. “Isn’t that strange? I mean, we had no gifts, no turkey, no heat, no lights…and yet, it’s been really magical.”
“I feel the same way. And your last song was the perfect finish to the day. You have a beautiful voice.”
“Thank you. I love singing when Jason is playing piano. We belong to the same choir.”
“He obviously loves you a lot. That must be nice.” Eliza was shocked by the longing she heard in her own voice. She’d been so proud of herself for not obsessively thinking about John the past few days. But clearly, she still had a secret yearning inside of her, to be loved like that again.
“I do feel blessed. For a long time I’d been doubting Jason’s love. We wanted to have kids and it was my fault we couldn’t. I thought he must wish he wasn’t stuck with me. I became very bitter and angry—provoking fights over ridiculous things. Well, you saw what I was like at the beginning of the trip.”
“You didn’t seem very happy,” Eliza said, diplomatically.
“I wasn’t. Worse, I was making sure Jason was just as miserable as I was. I guess I hit a new low when I ran off like a spoiled kid on that last ski trip. I’ve been meaning to apologize Eliza, for ruining the day for you. I’ve already apologized to Marshall, but he was so nice about it. He’s a great guy, isn’t he?”
Eliza tensed, ready to ward off another matchmaking attempt.
But Sydney didn’t go there. She was still thinking about herself and Jason. “In fact, it was something Marshall said when he was helping me after I had that fall, that got me thinking. While we were waiting for the skidoo, Jason was fussing over me, and Marshall told us we were lucky we had each other.”
Eliza could imagine him saying something just like that.
“His words stuck with me. And with Jason, too. We were so hung up on the fact that we couldn’t have children, we forgot to be grateful for what we did have. Each other.”
Eliza didn’t trust her voice, so she just nodded, which was all the encouragement Sydney needed.
“It’s shockingly easy to take someone for granted, until you find yourself alone and lonely. I’m afraid of how close to the edge I pushed our relationship.”
Eliza managed a smile this time. She would not characterize herself as either alone or lonely. But she couldn’t deny she still yearned for the blissful happiness she’d experienced during her best times with John. She’d felt so much more alive, then, as if being connected to him on the closest level, had made her somehow more connected with herself at the same time.
“Anyway, sorry for yakking away
Jason played the religious standards next, Away in a Manger, Silent Night, We Three Kings. When he began the opening chords to the vocally-challenging O Holy Night, everyone grew silent, except for his wife.
Sydney had a beautiful, soulful voice that reminded Eliza of Sarah McLachlan’s. Shivers of delight tingled up Eliza’s spine as Sydney carried the tune to the climactic and emotional peak, before softening into a reverent conclusion. She noticed Jason glance up at his wife, tears glistening in his eyes.
Forgetting her new resolve to avoid him, Eliza glanced at Marshall. He was staring into the fire, looking sad. She wondered if he was thinking of his brother.
There was a collective sigh, and Jason dropped his hands onto his lap.
“That was so beautiful. I think we’ll stop there.” He got up from the bench and gave his wife a tender kiss.
Then Betsy was back, offering herbal teas and cocoa and more plates of cookies. Though still full from dinner, Eliza was unable to resist a cup of peppermint tea and one more shortbread cookie. The fact that they had been cut into snowflake shapes struck her as totally apropos, something she remarked to Sydney when the other woman perched on the chair beside hers.
“This has turned out to be one of my favorite Christmas’s,” Sydney said. “Isn’t that strange? I mean, we had no gifts, no turkey, no heat, no lights…and yet, it’s been really magical.”
“I feel the same way. And your last song was the perfect finish to the day. You have a beautiful voice.”
“Thank you. I love singing when Jason is playing piano. We belong to the same choir.”
“He obviously loves you a lot. That must be nice.” Eliza was shocked by the longing she heard in her own voice. She’d been so proud of herself for not obsessively thinking about John the past few days. But clearly, she still had a secret yearning inside of her, to be loved like that again.
“I do feel blessed. For a long time I’d been doubting Jason’s love. We wanted to have kids and it was my fault we couldn’t. I thought he must wish he wasn’t stuck with me. I became very bitter and angry—provoking fights over ridiculous things. Well, you saw what I was like at the beginning of the trip.”
“You didn’t seem very happy,” Eliza said, diplomatically.
“I wasn’t. Worse, I was making sure Jason was just as miserable as I was. I guess I hit a new low when I ran off like a spoiled kid on that last ski trip. I’ve been meaning to apologize Eliza, for ruining the day for you. I’ve already apologized to Marshall, but he was so nice about it. He’s a great guy, isn’t he?”
Eliza tensed, ready to ward off another matchmaking attempt.
But Sydney didn’t go there. She was still thinking about herself and Jason. “In fact, it was something Marshall said when he was helping me after I had that fall, that got me thinking. While we were waiting for the skidoo, Jason was fussing over me, and Marshall told us we were lucky we had each other.”
Eliza could imagine him saying something just like that.
“His words stuck with me. And with Jason, too. We were so hung up on the fact that we couldn’t have children, we forgot to be grateful for what we did have. Each other.”
Eliza didn’t trust her voice, so she just nodded, which was all the encouragement Sydney needed.
“It’s shockingly easy to take someone for granted, until you find yourself alone and lonely. I’m afraid of how close to the edge I pushed our relationship.”
Eliza managed a smile this time. She would not characterize herself as either alone or lonely. But she couldn’t deny she still yearned for the blissful happiness she’d experienced during her best times with John. She’d felt so much more alive, then, as if being connected to him on the closest level, had made her somehow more connected with herself at the same time.
“Anyway, sorry for yakking away
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