through the treasure it contained.
I picked up the glass owl. ‘I often wondered as a child the significance of owls at Christmas,’ I laughed to Tamsin, who was gazing at the snow dome. She reached for it and held it in both hands, caressing it gently, looking into it like it was a crystal ball.
‘Are you okay, love? Is all this a bit much for you?’ I asked. Perhaps it had been a bit tactless of me to dress the tree when she was going through so much turmoil. I knew how much she loved her Christmases at The Rectory and this one would be quite different.
‘No... it’s fine. I was just remembering this,’ she held the dome up to the light, there were tears in her eyes. I put my hand on her shoulder, ‘Let’s put it on the mantelpiece like we used to at home?’ I suggested, but she didn’t want to.
‘It’ll look better over there, near the lamp,’ she said and placed it over on the bookshelf, which couldn’t have been further from the mantelpiece.
‘What’s this?’ Jacob held a scarlet and gold Japanese fan, a remnant from one of Tamsin’s themed Christmases from a couple of years before. I looked over at her to remind her of the madness of Mrs J in fancy dress serving up dim sum platters in black kohl and blue kimono. But Tamsin was miles away again, now holding a white glass angel with a broken wing and looking like she was about to burst into tears. I let her have her space and time to think while I concentrated on Jacob.
I showed Jacob how to waft the oriental fan, making him giggle, and within seconds he was back searching for more treasures, almost disappearing into the box.
‘Mummy, look at this – a beautiful lady,’ he said, emerging from the box waving a paper fairy in the air. ‘Can Auntie Tamsin keep this fairy? I think she’ll like it.’
He got up, and clumsily staggering over the baubles and tinsel, he held out the fairy, looking intently at Tamsin’s face.
‘Don’t cry Auntie Tam... Father Christmas is coming soon.’
She gently took the paper fairy from his hands and drew him close, hugging him and kissing his cheeks.
‘Ew... you made me wet with your cry,’ he said, coming over all tough guy for a second. Then he bent down putting both hands on his chubby little knees and looked right into her face.
‘It’s okay, Auntie Tam... you can do a sleepover with us all the time, you don’t need a house.’
I bit my lip and my heart melted at my little boy’s kindness. ‘That may or may not be what you want to hear just now,’ I smiled.
‘It’s just what I want to hear,’ she said, hugging Jacob once more, burying her face in his neck for a long time.
‘Can Horatio sleep over too?’ he said. Jacob loved that dog, but there wouldn’t have been room for him at the flat so one of Richard’s friends had taken him for now.
‘One day, when we’re all back in our own homes and Horatio’s home too, you can come and sleep over with him, how about that?’ she said.
Jacob nodded enthusiastically, and extricating himself from Tamsin’s hug, she passed the fairy back to me.
‘We might need to give her a makeover,’ I laughed, looking at the fairy who seemed every bit as unloved and dishevelled as my sister.
Her silver foil crown was askew (the fairy’s, not Tamsin’s) and looking at the scribbled-on eyes, the yellow wool hair and the bent wings took me straight back to my nana’s kitchen. It had been freezing cold and Tamsin and I were sitting by the oven for warmth, while Nana buttered toast and made mugs of steaming tea. It didn’t matter how cold it was outside, it was always warm and safe in that kitchen. And there was always something cooking on the stove or in the oven. Fruit pies, soups, mashed potatoes, all the comfort food I loved now had been fed to me there, forever associating it with warmth and happiness.
I remembered sitting at the kitchen table drawing the fairy really carefully, while Tamsin waited to cut it out with the scissors. I was about
I picked up the glass owl. ‘I often wondered as a child the significance of owls at Christmas,’ I laughed to Tamsin, who was gazing at the snow dome. She reached for it and held it in both hands, caressing it gently, looking into it like it was a crystal ball.
‘Are you okay, love? Is all this a bit much for you?’ I asked. Perhaps it had been a bit tactless of me to dress the tree when she was going through so much turmoil. I knew how much she loved her Christmases at The Rectory and this one would be quite different.
‘No... it’s fine. I was just remembering this,’ she held the dome up to the light, there were tears in her eyes. I put my hand on her shoulder, ‘Let’s put it on the mantelpiece like we used to at home?’ I suggested, but she didn’t want to.
‘It’ll look better over there, near the lamp,’ she said and placed it over on the bookshelf, which couldn’t have been further from the mantelpiece.
‘What’s this?’ Jacob held a scarlet and gold Japanese fan, a remnant from one of Tamsin’s themed Christmases from a couple of years before. I looked over at her to remind her of the madness of Mrs J in fancy dress serving up dim sum platters in black kohl and blue kimono. But Tamsin was miles away again, now holding a white glass angel with a broken wing and looking like she was about to burst into tears. I let her have her space and time to think while I concentrated on Jacob.
I showed Jacob how to waft the oriental fan, making him giggle, and within seconds he was back searching for more treasures, almost disappearing into the box.
‘Mummy, look at this – a beautiful lady,’ he said, emerging from the box waving a paper fairy in the air. ‘Can Auntie Tamsin keep this fairy? I think she’ll like it.’
He got up, and clumsily staggering over the baubles and tinsel, he held out the fairy, looking intently at Tamsin’s face.
‘Don’t cry Auntie Tam... Father Christmas is coming soon.’
She gently took the paper fairy from his hands and drew him close, hugging him and kissing his cheeks.
‘Ew... you made me wet with your cry,’ he said, coming over all tough guy for a second. Then he bent down putting both hands on his chubby little knees and looked right into her face.
‘It’s okay, Auntie Tam... you can do a sleepover with us all the time, you don’t need a house.’
I bit my lip and my heart melted at my little boy’s kindness. ‘That may or may not be what you want to hear just now,’ I smiled.
‘It’s just what I want to hear,’ she said, hugging Jacob once more, burying her face in his neck for a long time.
‘Can Horatio sleep over too?’ he said. Jacob loved that dog, but there wouldn’t have been room for him at the flat so one of Richard’s friends had taken him for now.
‘One day, when we’re all back in our own homes and Horatio’s home too, you can come and sleep over with him, how about that?’ she said.
Jacob nodded enthusiastically, and extricating himself from Tamsin’s hug, she passed the fairy back to me.
‘We might need to give her a makeover,’ I laughed, looking at the fairy who seemed every bit as unloved and dishevelled as my sister.
Her silver foil crown was askew (the fairy’s, not Tamsin’s) and looking at the scribbled-on eyes, the yellow wool hair and the bent wings took me straight back to my nana’s kitchen. It had been freezing cold and Tamsin and I were sitting by the oven for warmth, while Nana buttered toast and made mugs of steaming tea. It didn’t matter how cold it was outside, it was always warm and safe in that kitchen. And there was always something cooking on the stove or in the oven. Fruit pies, soups, mashed potatoes, all the comfort food I loved now had been fed to me there, forever associating it with warmth and happiness.
I remembered sitting at the kitchen table drawing the fairy really carefully, while Tamsin waited to cut it out with the scissors. I was about
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