knew how.
He found me.
And Snare isn't like he was before. Life has made him hard. Life has made me hard too.
I didn't realize until I said the words how little hope I really had. I've been hanging on for Jaylin, keeping one foot in front of the other to give her what she needs.
Jaylin. Oh my God, I have to tell him.
I look away from the softness in his blue eyes, knowing I have to confess I've kept him from his daughter these past four years.
“Listen to me, Sara—I'm sorry about how rough I am.”
I shake my head, tears springing from the wells of my eyes. “Don't be. I don't know where you've been or what you've had to do since...” I don't say the words.
He does. “Since you ran out on me.”
I nod, still not looking at him. “I didn't want to.” I had to.
“Let's get this behind us. There's so much shit we have to put to rest, and it's gotta be done fast. I know”—his eyes scan my room, hitting the clock on top of my chest of drawers—“we can't get dick resolved at one thirty in the morning.”
Jaylin's coming home in a half hour. I don't want that revelation on top of everything else. I gulp back my anxiety. “I know,” I say.
He lifts my chin with a finger, studying my expression, mining my soul of the hidden diamonds I've buried. “Is there something else you need to tell me? Aside from the fact of how I found you in The Crawl?”
He doesn't announce the blow job part again, but it's between us.
“And you were celibate when we weren't together?”
He snorts. “Fuck no, I've been with more women than I can count.”
Nice. I jerk my head away from his touch.
“Uh-uh—don't you go all fucking chick sensitive on me now. I know I'm a man-whore. I had no reason not to be.” I feel him shrug against me, and my anger fades. I have no right to be pissed. I gave him up, so he could be—or do—anything or anyone he wanted to.
He plows his fingers through his short dark hair. “I fucked all those bitches to forget you, Sara.”
I shut my eyes against the visual, the crudeness of his explanation. “What made you look for me now?”
Snare's eyes stare at his hand as his fingertips trail along my side. “I finally decided I was gonna self-destruct if I didn't know where you were. How you were.” His eyes narrow, shifting to mine. “And thank fuck I did.”
I can't meet that condemning look. Deep down, I know Snare wouldn't have self-destructed with women if I hadn't let him go. Another thing to add to my guilt. “I did what I could to survive,” I admit quietly. “That was my first time in the VIP. I needed the extra money bad. All these years of shedding clothes and that's the first time I did private dances.” My eyelashes grow thick with my sadness, heavy with tears. “I had my reasons. The Crawl is a great job. I only work twenty-four hours a week, three eight-hour shifts, and I pull in eight K a month.”
Snare shakes his head. “No more. I don't care if it's eighty K a month. No taking your shit off for other dudes.”
I finally meet his eyes. “I want so bad to give in. I love this.” I slide a fingernail lightly down his semi-hard erection. It hardens beneath my touch as the pleasant ache between my thighs throbs in a sigh.
“You do me in, Sara.” He leans forward, and I press my palm to his chest.
The frown he gives me holds anger, rejection.
I'll clear that up. “I can never say no now—and it scares me.”
He pulls me against him. “Don't. I've found you again. Don't overthink shit. We're not a couple of kids living with Riker and the fear of his fists. Fuck him.”
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “He's back, Snare.”
Snare pulls away. “I know. My brother, Noose—” He reads my expression and smiles. “That's what we call other men who've patched into the Road Kill MC—brothers.”
I nod, not fully understanding. “Oh.”
“Anyways, Noose has connections. He hunted you down then found out he wasn't the only one looking.”
I
He found me.
And Snare isn't like he was before. Life has made him hard. Life has made me hard too.
I didn't realize until I said the words how little hope I really had. I've been hanging on for Jaylin, keeping one foot in front of the other to give her what she needs.
Jaylin. Oh my God, I have to tell him.
I look away from the softness in his blue eyes, knowing I have to confess I've kept him from his daughter these past four years.
“Listen to me, Sara—I'm sorry about how rough I am.”
I shake my head, tears springing from the wells of my eyes. “Don't be. I don't know where you've been or what you've had to do since...” I don't say the words.
He does. “Since you ran out on me.”
I nod, still not looking at him. “I didn't want to.” I had to.
“Let's get this behind us. There's so much shit we have to put to rest, and it's gotta be done fast. I know”—his eyes scan my room, hitting the clock on top of my chest of drawers—“we can't get dick resolved at one thirty in the morning.”
Jaylin's coming home in a half hour. I don't want that revelation on top of everything else. I gulp back my anxiety. “I know,” I say.
He lifts my chin with a finger, studying my expression, mining my soul of the hidden diamonds I've buried. “Is there something else you need to tell me? Aside from the fact of how I found you in The Crawl?”
He doesn't announce the blow job part again, but it's between us.
“And you were celibate when we weren't together?”
He snorts. “Fuck no, I've been with more women than I can count.”
Nice. I jerk my head away from his touch.
“Uh-uh—don't you go all fucking chick sensitive on me now. I know I'm a man-whore. I had no reason not to be.” I feel him shrug against me, and my anger fades. I have no right to be pissed. I gave him up, so he could be—or do—anything or anyone he wanted to.
He plows his fingers through his short dark hair. “I fucked all those bitches to forget you, Sara.”
I shut my eyes against the visual, the crudeness of his explanation. “What made you look for me now?”
Snare's eyes stare at his hand as his fingertips trail along my side. “I finally decided I was gonna self-destruct if I didn't know where you were. How you were.” His eyes narrow, shifting to mine. “And thank fuck I did.”
I can't meet that condemning look. Deep down, I know Snare wouldn't have self-destructed with women if I hadn't let him go. Another thing to add to my guilt. “I did what I could to survive,” I admit quietly. “That was my first time in the VIP. I needed the extra money bad. All these years of shedding clothes and that's the first time I did private dances.” My eyelashes grow thick with my sadness, heavy with tears. “I had my reasons. The Crawl is a great job. I only work twenty-four hours a week, three eight-hour shifts, and I pull in eight K a month.”
Snare shakes his head. “No more. I don't care if it's eighty K a month. No taking your shit off for other dudes.”
I finally meet his eyes. “I want so bad to give in. I love this.” I slide a fingernail lightly down his semi-hard erection. It hardens beneath my touch as the pleasant ache between my thighs throbs in a sigh.
“You do me in, Sara.” He leans forward, and I press my palm to his chest.
The frown he gives me holds anger, rejection.
I'll clear that up. “I can never say no now—and it scares me.”
He pulls me against him. “Don't. I've found you again. Don't overthink shit. We're not a couple of kids living with Riker and the fear of his fists. Fuck him.”
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “He's back, Snare.”
Snare pulls away. “I know. My brother, Noose—” He reads my expression and smiles. “That's what we call other men who've patched into the Road Kill MC—brothers.”
I nod, not fully understanding. “Oh.”
“Anyways, Noose has connections. He hunted you down then found out he wasn't the only one looking.”
I
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