the way her whole face lit up when she relaxed. Genuine pleasure. Her eyes twinkled first, and then her smile turned lethal.
His heartbeat kicked up in response. He tore his gaze away from her face with more effort than he cared to admit. No other woman had affected him like that.
Dangerous soil, that was what he was treading on.
Seeing her finally unwind catapulted him back to their high-school years. A time of youth and love and dreams of a future together. When they had both believed that nothing could tear them apart. But Nick had learned the hard way that life could change at a moment’s notice, altering every plan and every direction.
“About this morning, Nick.” Kylie’s smile faded and her expression turned somber. “I said some things that probably sounded unappreciative. Please don’t think that I am. I do appreciate your help. I just don’t want to be a burden to you.”
“A burden?” Nick shook his head and moved a step closer. “Don’t ever think that. We’re in this together.”
Color drained from her face. For a moment, she simply stood there and said nothing. Finally, she mumbled, “In it together? Like the night Conrad died?”
Conrad? “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Her gaze clung to his. She caught her bottom lip with her teeth. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
It did matter. The wary look in her eyes told him that. Just seeing that distress dredged up old feelings that he’d buried deep in the furthest reaches of his being. Conrad’s death had left a mark on so many, but the pain flaring in Kylie’s gaze belonged to Nick.
“What is it, Kylie?”
She said nothing, simply stood there with a troubled cast to her delicate features.
Then it hit him. “Do you think I blame you?” He narrowed his eyes and pointed a thumb back at his chest.
“You should,” she answered in a matter-of-fact way. “I wheedled you into sneaking out of camp that night.”
One step more and Nick stood toe-to-toe with her. So close he could see specks of gold in her eyes and the little tremor in her lip. He wanted to kiss her. He really did. Fortunately, good sense prevailed. “Kylie, I never blamed you and still don’t.”
She gave him a doleful look. “You had second thoughts about hiking to the overlook. Because of my selfishness you went against your instincts and came with me.”
Nick’s heart twisted at the misperception. “Kylie, I learned a long time ago that a man makes his own decisions.”
“However, sometimes those decisions are made out of duty.” She lifted her lashes and glared at him.
He frowned, not liking the direction of her thoughts. He already carried enough guilt for the both of them. “I made the choice, Kylie. My choice. My responsibility.”
“Very noble, Captain.” She hiked up her chin. “However, that nobility turned into a curse. You took claim to a burden that didn’t belong to you.”
Nick scratched his head. “That’s a bit overstated.”
Kylie met his eyes, the intensity in her gaze unmistakable. “Nick. You didn’t kill Conrad. After years of beating myself up with shame, I finally came to grips with the fact that my childish antics didn’t put Conrad in his grave. By God’s grace, my guilt was lifted and I’m desperately trying to move on.”
“I’m happy for you. No point in staying locked in the past.”
There was a heartbeat of hesitation before she responded, “When are you going to let go of the past, Nick?”
He swallowed, feeling as if a clenching fist had hold of his larynx. She didn’t understand. Couldn’t understand.
Hurt flashed briefly in Kylie’s emerald eyes before he saw the sheen of unshed tears. “You blame yourself. You blame God. Maybe I should spend the rest of my life accepting the blame.”
A beat passed and before he could respond, she shot up her hand. “No, wait. You’ve got guilt covered. And that’s the part I hate.” She swallowed, glanced away.
He hated that, too.
His heartbeat kicked up in response. He tore his gaze away from her face with more effort than he cared to admit. No other woman had affected him like that.
Dangerous soil, that was what he was treading on.
Seeing her finally unwind catapulted him back to their high-school years. A time of youth and love and dreams of a future together. When they had both believed that nothing could tear them apart. But Nick had learned the hard way that life could change at a moment’s notice, altering every plan and every direction.
“About this morning, Nick.” Kylie’s smile faded and her expression turned somber. “I said some things that probably sounded unappreciative. Please don’t think that I am. I do appreciate your help. I just don’t want to be a burden to you.”
“A burden?” Nick shook his head and moved a step closer. “Don’t ever think that. We’re in this together.”
Color drained from her face. For a moment, she simply stood there and said nothing. Finally, she mumbled, “In it together? Like the night Conrad died?”
Conrad? “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Her gaze clung to his. She caught her bottom lip with her teeth. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
It did matter. The wary look in her eyes told him that. Just seeing that distress dredged up old feelings that he’d buried deep in the furthest reaches of his being. Conrad’s death had left a mark on so many, but the pain flaring in Kylie’s gaze belonged to Nick.
“What is it, Kylie?”
She said nothing, simply stood there with a troubled cast to her delicate features.
Then it hit him. “Do you think I blame you?” He narrowed his eyes and pointed a thumb back at his chest.
“You should,” she answered in a matter-of-fact way. “I wheedled you into sneaking out of camp that night.”
One step more and Nick stood toe-to-toe with her. So close he could see specks of gold in her eyes and the little tremor in her lip. He wanted to kiss her. He really did. Fortunately, good sense prevailed. “Kylie, I never blamed you and still don’t.”
She gave him a doleful look. “You had second thoughts about hiking to the overlook. Because of my selfishness you went against your instincts and came with me.”
Nick’s heart twisted at the misperception. “Kylie, I learned a long time ago that a man makes his own decisions.”
“However, sometimes those decisions are made out of duty.” She lifted her lashes and glared at him.
He frowned, not liking the direction of her thoughts. He already carried enough guilt for the both of them. “I made the choice, Kylie. My choice. My responsibility.”
“Very noble, Captain.” She hiked up her chin. “However, that nobility turned into a curse. You took claim to a burden that didn’t belong to you.”
Nick scratched his head. “That’s a bit overstated.”
Kylie met his eyes, the intensity in her gaze unmistakable. “Nick. You didn’t kill Conrad. After years of beating myself up with shame, I finally came to grips with the fact that my childish antics didn’t put Conrad in his grave. By God’s grace, my guilt was lifted and I’m desperately trying to move on.”
“I’m happy for you. No point in staying locked in the past.”
There was a heartbeat of hesitation before she responded, “When are you going to let go of the past, Nick?”
He swallowed, feeling as if a clenching fist had hold of his larynx. She didn’t understand. Couldn’t understand.
Hurt flashed briefly in Kylie’s emerald eyes before he saw the sheen of unshed tears. “You blame yourself. You blame God. Maybe I should spend the rest of my life accepting the blame.”
A beat passed and before he could respond, she shot up her hand. “No, wait. You’ve got guilt covered. And that’s the part I hate.” She swallowed, glanced away.
He hated that, too.
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