would ever think to crow.
With a twinge of guilt, Mack hopes his wife will linger downstairs awhile longer tonight.
If she comes up, sheâs going to want to know whatâs wrong with me, and Iâm not good at talking about my feelings. I really just want to be alone right now.
In the master bedroom, he closes the door behind him and strips down to his boxer shorts. Then he goes into the adjoining bathroom and looks at the prescription bottle.
â âTake one tablet at bedtime with plenty of water,â â he reads aloud. âYeah. Here goes nothing.â
He swallows a white capsule, returns to the bedroom, climbs into bed, and turns off the light.
Okay, Dormipram . . . hurry up and do your thing.
As he waits for drowsiness to overtake him, he replays the events of the evening, wondering if the kids picked up on his moodiness earlier. Probably.
But I couldnât help it. I felt so overwhelmed by everyone and everything. I just needed a few seconds to myself. Is that so wrong?
Funny. In another lifetimeâthe one that came to a crashing halt more than a decade agoâit was just the opposite. Mack had more than his share of solitude and often craved human companionship. He was far lonelier during his first marriage than heâd ever been in his single life.
Carrie was not, as he felt obliged to apologetically explain to his family and friends, a âpeople person.â She wantedâ needed âno one but Mack.
As a red-blooded man with a nurturing soul, he was touchedâall right, flatteredâby the fact that a fiercely independent woman like Carrie Robinson had chosen to let him into her life.
It was obvious to him from the moment they met that she kept the rest of the world at bay. At the time, he had no idea why. He only knew that, as a man, he was as drawn to Carrie as he had been to stray puppies and kittens as a boy, and to the emotionally bruised children he met through his volunteer work with the Big Brother organization in his early twenties.
He wanted to take her in, look after her, make up for the pain she had endured.
The pain . . .
Sometimes he still thinks about thatâabout Carrieâs past. He thinks about it, and he wonders, God forgive him, if the things she told him were even true.
He managed to keep her secret to himself for the duration of their marriage. But at the very end, when he realized sheâd been lost in the burning rubble downtown, his willpower cracked. He told his best friend, Ben, the truth about Carrie.
A few years ago, over a couple of beers, Ben confessed that he had in turn confided Carrieâs secret to his wifeâand that Randi hadnât bought it.
âWhat do you mean?â Mack was taken aback, not that Ben hadnât kept the confidence, but that heârather, Randiâwould question the integrity in what Mack had revealed.
Ben took a deep breath. âLook, this has been bothering me for a long time, and Iâve wanted to say something to you, but it always seemed too soon. Now you have Allison and the girls and youâve moved on and I guess it doesnât seem to matter as much . . .â
âWhat are you trying to say, Ben?â
âWhen I mentioned to Randi that youâd told me that Carrie spent her childhood in the witness protection program, she basically said that was bullshit.â
âWhat, she actually thought Iâd lie to you about something like that?â
âNo.â
âWhat?â Then, reading the expression on Benâs face, he suddenly got it. âOh.â
Randiâand apparently Ben, tooâhad concluded that Carrie had lied about itâto Mack.
âYouâve got to admit, it sounded far-fetched,â Ben said, and hastily added, âBut Iâm not saying it wasnât true.â
Maybe notâbut suddenly, he had Mack thinking it.
I guess it doesnât seem to matter as much , Ben had said.
He was
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