air mattress, jumped on the couch, pointed to the door, and proclaimed (in a crackling witchy voice), “The Gate, The Gate! Don’t go beyond the Gate! That way lies madness (then in a deep voice) AND CERTAIN DEATH.” Then I “doom doom doooooomed” and stomped back to bed. I swear I don’t remember a thing!
Shawna S.
Sunland, CA
Hey logic, you can suck my balls.
I wanna do some shouting.
Look at the size of your bath.
I can pee in it and you’d never notice.
Why must I choose? Dog or fish.
Dog or fish…. Fish … ARGH, I get it wrong every time!
Damn it, I’m gonna be late. I’ve run out of nipple glue! Always at the worst times.
Methinks it’s time to go naked native.
It’s a shower cap and singlet for me.
Oh, put the phone down…. No, you put it down first … No, you…. Just put the ass-rimming pig-fucking mother-shit fuck phone down! Jeeesuuuusssss!
Gaffer tape.
Oh, it’s such sexy sticky stuff.
Rip and stick, rip and stick. Ooooh.
Look at me. That’s what I call rapture.
Who needs the fucking end of the world?
Judgment day, my ass.
You have the genetic disposition of a dipshit. It’s quite simple to trace back.
One of your ancestors must have risen to the highest rank of codpiece.
Stupid fucking wanker.
The little people are taking over!
Better break out that secret stash of rainbow pencils.
That’ll keep them busy for a while.
The zero is the same. It always will be. It never changes. Zero is zero…. One? Huh, he’s just a lonely cunt.
If I can’t have legs, none of you can have legs. Simple as that.
I can juggle babies. It’s the baby juggle!
It’s just so tricky when they’re on fire.
One up, two … oops! I need another baby.
Another baby!
GYM: nothing more than Goddamn Yucky Masochism.
I don’t wanna go down the slide.
It’s too high. Far too high.
Wheeeeeeeeeeee! … I feel sick now.
It’s not about believing or not believing in God. No, no, no.
It’s about not giving a crap.
Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew.
I’m gonna kick you so hard, your nuts are gonna look like Christmas balls. Now give me back my wings!
And the tiara.
I’ll have you, Blackbeard. And then I’ll have your beard. Mmmm, I love stealing beards.
Be the Pirate Beard of the Bearded Sea.
Arrrgggh. And all of you follicly challenged people can be on MY crew. And everyone with beards will quake with fear!
OK: Jump position! Goddamn it, why do the jellyfish always get it wrong?
“Oh, I’ve got my own built-in parachute.”
So fucking what, get the basics right, dickhead. Otherwise, you’re out of the free-form team. Bastards.
Of course I’m wearing my thunder pants.
It’s Thursday. Friday is frilly pants day.
Don’t forget!
I’m not angry with you. I’m just pissed off you were classed as a viable embryo.
Tell me, what are vampires wearing this season? Anyone? Anyone?!
I know I said I love you, but I love me more. Accept your position in my life.
Stupid-fucking-cunty-bollocks-expialidocious
Oh, hamsters don’t give love like guinea pigs. No, no. Guinea pigs are a love package, all wrapped up in little squeaks.
I’ve got a new show, and you’re gonna be the star. It’s called, “People I Like to Throw Under the Bus.”
I call this cake Death By Icing.
Ninjas, they’re just pussies in pajamas. Samurais, now that’s where it’s at.
They’re the fucking bollocks.
This is a totally sparkly tiara moment!
“Now it’s time to suspend reality … from its fucking neck.”
“Just imagine,” I often think to myself excitedly, “what Adam would be capable of if he could summon STM at will. WOW!” Other times, I think, “Just imagine what Adam would be capable of if he could summon STM at will. UGH!” In a sense, STM demonstrates the extreme best and worst that Adam has to offer. He’s Adam at his most clever and creative, and he’s Adam at his most narcissistic and unscrupulous. Both of these extremes, I think, can be explained by the same
Shawna S.
Sunland, CA
Hey logic, you can suck my balls.
I wanna do some shouting.
Look at the size of your bath.
I can pee in it and you’d never notice.
Why must I choose? Dog or fish.
Dog or fish…. Fish … ARGH, I get it wrong every time!
Damn it, I’m gonna be late. I’ve run out of nipple glue! Always at the worst times.
Methinks it’s time to go naked native.
It’s a shower cap and singlet for me.
Oh, put the phone down…. No, you put it down first … No, you…. Just put the ass-rimming pig-fucking mother-shit fuck phone down! Jeeesuuuusssss!
Gaffer tape.
Oh, it’s such sexy sticky stuff.
Rip and stick, rip and stick. Ooooh.
Look at me. That’s what I call rapture.
Who needs the fucking end of the world?
Judgment day, my ass.
You have the genetic disposition of a dipshit. It’s quite simple to trace back.
One of your ancestors must have risen to the highest rank of codpiece.
Stupid fucking wanker.
The little people are taking over!
Better break out that secret stash of rainbow pencils.
That’ll keep them busy for a while.
The zero is the same. It always will be. It never changes. Zero is zero…. One? Huh, he’s just a lonely cunt.
If I can’t have legs, none of you can have legs. Simple as that.
I can juggle babies. It’s the baby juggle!
It’s just so tricky when they’re on fire.
One up, two … oops! I need another baby.
Another baby!
GYM: nothing more than Goddamn Yucky Masochism.
I don’t wanna go down the slide.
It’s too high. Far too high.
Wheeeeeeeeeeee! … I feel sick now.
It’s not about believing or not believing in God. No, no, no.
It’s about not giving a crap.
Fluffy bunny + twitchy nose + big ears = great stew.
I’m gonna kick you so hard, your nuts are gonna look like Christmas balls. Now give me back my wings!
And the tiara.
I’ll have you, Blackbeard. And then I’ll have your beard. Mmmm, I love stealing beards.
Be the Pirate Beard of the Bearded Sea.
Arrrgggh. And all of you follicly challenged people can be on MY crew. And everyone with beards will quake with fear!
OK: Jump position! Goddamn it, why do the jellyfish always get it wrong?
“Oh, I’ve got my own built-in parachute.”
So fucking what, get the basics right, dickhead. Otherwise, you’re out of the free-form team. Bastards.
Of course I’m wearing my thunder pants.
It’s Thursday. Friday is frilly pants day.
Don’t forget!
I’m not angry with you. I’m just pissed off you were classed as a viable embryo.
Tell me, what are vampires wearing this season? Anyone? Anyone?!
I know I said I love you, but I love me more. Accept your position in my life.
Stupid-fucking-cunty-bollocks-expialidocious
Oh, hamsters don’t give love like guinea pigs. No, no. Guinea pigs are a love package, all wrapped up in little squeaks.
I’ve got a new show, and you’re gonna be the star. It’s called, “People I Like to Throw Under the Bus.”
I call this cake Death By Icing.
Ninjas, they’re just pussies in pajamas. Samurais, now that’s where it’s at.
They’re the fucking bollocks.
This is a totally sparkly tiara moment!
“Now it’s time to suspend reality … from its fucking neck.”
“Just imagine,” I often think to myself excitedly, “what Adam would be capable of if he could summon STM at will. WOW!” Other times, I think, “Just imagine what Adam would be capable of if he could summon STM at will. UGH!” In a sense, STM demonstrates the extreme best and worst that Adam has to offer. He’s Adam at his most clever and creative, and he’s Adam at his most narcissistic and unscrupulous. Both of these extremes, I think, can be explained by the same
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