Skipping Towards Gomorrah by Dan Savage Page B

tribe trying to make as many babies as possible—early Christians believed the world was coming to an end. Jesus said as much: “And he said unto them, ‘Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see that the Kingdom of God has come with power (Mark 9.1, Matthew 16.28).’ ” With the world coming to an end, the early Church discouraged its members from bringing more children into the world. With the Kingdom of God at hand, Jesus H. Christ, who had time to arrange for child care?
    Judaism isn’t so insanely antisex, according to David and Bridget.
    â€œIn the Jewish tradition, sin is ‘missing the mark,’ ” Bridget explained to me in Las Vegas. “Being damned isn’t a Jewish concept. King David was very promiscuous, but he is still seen as the greatest king and a Jewish hero, so maybe missing the mark sexually isn’t so serious a sin.”
    David and Bridget got into swinging the same way most swinging couples get into the lifestyle; David asked his wife is she might want to attend a party. He’d gone to a few with his previous long-term girlfriend, enjoyed them, and thought Bridget would like them just as much as he did. Bridget was afraid the parties would be sleazy.
    â€œI told her we could leave at any point,” says David, “and that we didn’t have to do anything. She would be in charge. I told her that going to a club is like going to the most fun bar you’ve ever been to.”
    It only took one visit to convince Bridget that David was right.
    â€œPeople let loose and were really free,” says Bridget. “And unlike most bars, it’s completely safe for women. Nothing is going to happen that you don’t want to have happen. None of the men are obnoxious or drunk, since they know they’ll be asked to leave if they make any of the women feel uncomfortable.”
    Women can do just about anything they like at a swingers’ dance or in a swingers’ club—they can be aggressive, demanding, passive, and casually bisexual. The same isn’t true for men. Men who touch women without permission are shown the door, as are drunk or obnoxious men, and there’s a taboo against casual same-sex play among men. “I doubt that all the men in this hotel or at parties are straight,” admitted David, tearing apart another pretzel, “that just doesn’t seem likely, not with so many of the women being bisexual. Male bisexuality is seen as a threat by a lot of straight men, and male bisexuality is seen as a threat to women, since bisexual husbands are likelier to have HIV than husbands who only want to watch their wives and other men’s wives.”
    The swinging movement would collapse if women felt unsafe or threatened, David explained, so clubs have to create an environment where women feel safe and free to lose themselves in the moment. “Men, on the other hand, can’t cut loose,” said David. “We have to be on our best behavior at all times.” Single men are not allowed at swing clubs, so that men don’t outnumber women, and clubs refuse admittance to men suspected of hiring prostitutes to accompany them to parties. “We’re constantly monitoring how our actions are being perceived by the women, to make sure we’re not doing anything that might make any woman uncomfortable.”
    In his book The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers, investigative journalist Terry Gould describes the swinging scene as a matriarchy. David agreed with that description.
    â€œWomen have all the power. If a woman says, ‘He touched me when I asked him not to,’ then you’re warned. Do it again, and you’re out. So you’re careful and respectful because you don’t want to be asked to leave. It’s too much fun in there; it’s a man’s fantasy come true. All the women, all that sexual energy, all that fun and