Six Steps to a Girl by Sophie McKenzie Page B

taken any notice of what he was saying.
    What could he know about how I felt anyway?
    I listened to the songs, still sitting on my bed.
    Missing Eve.

 
14
Perfect imperfect
    You think you’re alone until you realise you’re in it.
Now fear is here to stay, love is here for a visit.
    ‘Watching the Detectives’
Elvis Costello and the Attractions
    The next day Mum got Uncle Matt to take the lock off Chloe’s door so she couldn’t shut herself in anymore. She also got him to put a lock onto Chloe’s window – to which Mum kept the key.
    Finally, she extended Chloe’s month-long grounding – so that Chloe now had two more weeks of it – and she took Chloe’s mobile away.
    But it was all pointless. In fact, the only effect of Mum’s punishments was that instead of sneaking about, Chloe simply marched in and out of the house whenever she felt like it.
    Mum still shouted at her, but now Chloe just ignored her. Literally. She put this vacant look on her face, and acted as if she wasn’t even aware Mum was in the room. After a day of this Mum stopped talking to Chloe altogether. She also stopped washing her clothes and cooking her meals. It didn’t work.
    Chloe simply started doing those things for herself.
    I could see Mum was really miserable and I felt angry with Chloe for pushing her so hard. But I didn’t know what I could do about it. Chloe’s impossible to deal with when she gets angry. Eve said she must be unhappy underneath because of Dad. Maybe. I was sure that if Dad had been here he would have been able to sort her out. But it was way beyond me.
    And at least the endless rows had stopped.
    I saw Eve the day after her date with Ben. We took a bus into town and went to the movies. I was determined not to mention Ben – but after the film, we went for a coffee and Eve brought him up herself.
    “I missed you last night,” she said.
    “Oh?” I stirred the froth into my cappuccino.
    “Ben and I went to this club. It was a great place, but loads of his football friends were there and I don’t like them so much. And Ben didn’t even want to talk to me properly.”
    No, I don’t suppose he did. I expect he had other things on his mind after being away from you for a week.
    Eve sighed. “He’s such a weird guy. He’s so macho on the outside, but underneath I’m sure there’s this vulnerable person he really would rather be, if he’d just let it come through.”
    Jesus Christ. “Do you mind if we don’t talk about Ben anymore?” I snapped. I pushed my coffee away and sat back in my seat.
    Eve’s lip trembled. “I just wanted you to know that I missed you.”
    I shook my head. Her logic was all twisted. She was making it sound like someone had forced her to be with Ben last night.
    A tear trickled down Eve’s face, glistening over the tiny chicken-pox scar she has on the ridge of her cheekbone. And it suddenly struck me that she wasn’t perfect. Beautiful and sexy, yes. And kind and funny and sweet and smart.
    But she was lots of negative things too. She was stupid about Ben. And annoying – with all her ridiculous questions and the way she was often late when we’d agreed to meet up. And sometimes she was even boring – going on and on about her school stuff or trying to get to the heart of some ultra-complicated emotional point she was making.
    The funny thing is, knowing all that only made me want her more.
    I smiled at her. “ ’S OK,” I said. “I missed you too.”
    Looking back, I can see something changed between us at that moment. I stopped being constantly terrified she was about to dump me. I even found myself forgetting she was older – almost sixteen. It just didn’t seem important anymore. I still felt massively jealous that evening, when she went off to be with Ben, but I decided it was crazy to stay in by myself again, so I called Ryan to see what he was doing.
    As I suspected he had a party all lined up – and seemed quite happy for me to tag along. There were quite a