say the least.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Allie said. “You’ve always been better than I am at keeping secrets.”
“I made Mom and Dad promise. It would have only made you worry.” Emma lowered her voice until it was barely audible, thinking quickly to make up a story that would play on Allie’s sympathy. “They found a mass in my uterus and did a hysterectomy before I could blink.” Emma sipped her water, straightened, and cleared her throat. “It’s all messed up down there. And I wanted my own baby, not someone else’s.”
“Did you tell him?”
“Of course,” Emma replied in a soft voice and rubbed her temples. “And he suggested adopting. He brought me brochures he’d collected, showed me websites.”
“And?” Allie raised a brow.
“I knew it wouldn’t make me happy.” Emma drew in a deep breath.
Allie seemed to absorb this. “At least you had a choice. And you didn’t jump in and get stuck in a bad situation for years and years.”
“A bad situation?” Emma shifted and wrinkled her brow.
“An unhappy one.” Allie corrected herself. “I know that marriage is not the same as what I went through. You walked away . . . I lost a whole decade. It’s just wasted and I can’t get it back.” Allie looked out at the ocean and then back at Emma, her voice soft.
“Of course.”
“I’ve had so much time to think,” Allie continued. “And I have some ideas . . . some theories about everything that happened.”
Wrinkling her brow, Emma leaned forward to get a better look at her sister’s face. She recognized that expression, the stubborn and determined one. “What do you mean?” Emma asked. “Theories?”
Allie licked her lips. “I know that we couldn’t ever talk about it, back at Arrendale,” she murmured, “but I’ve always thought that Sheriff Gaines had everything to do with the coach’s death.”
Blinking at her sister, Emma’s jaw fell open. “What?”
“I’m serious.”
“Stop,” Emma hissed, glancing around. Now that the restaurant had filled up, no one, thank goodness, was paying them any attention. “Do you realize what you’re saying?”
“I do.”
“This isn’t the time or the place.” Emma frowned, keeping her voice low. “Don’t you want to put the past in the past? Let it go?” She paused and held her sister’s gaze. “You’re finally free.”
Allie blinked, bit her lip, and looked away.
Managing to conjure a sympathetic look, Emma continued, “I’m so sorry. I know it’s been hard for you. But you are out of that awful place. And that’s a blessing.”
Her sister didn’t reply.
Emma unfolded the napkin over her lap. “Listen, good comes out of bad sometimes. Like all of these years—all of this time having Caroline—it’s been a blessing to me.” She watched as her sister stiffened.
As Allie stared out at the waves crashing on the shore, Emma’s lips curved into a smile. She pressed her fingertips to the center of her chest, setting her jaw as if daring her sister to look up and defy her. “I love her so much. Caroline is my whole world.”
FOURTEEN
ALLIE
2016
Emma’s words sent a jolt through Allie’s body, like a rush of adrenaline after a lightning strike. The words hung in the evening air, daring, almost taunting her, as if Allie were somehow a threat.
Allie bristled, ready to defend her rightful place as her daughter’s mother. But when she opened her mouth to argue, Emma withdrew from her, crossing her arms across her chest. This was the Emma she knew. Oversensitive, quick to react. The first to have hurt feelings.
Perhaps, Allie thought, up until that minute, she hadn’t realized the depth of Emma’s love for Caroline. Her ten years behind bars had sheltered her from real life. In the few moments during those very first years when Allie let herself dwell on everything she was missing, the regret only hollowed out her soul.
Inhaling deeply, Allie thought long and hard as the
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Allie said. “You’ve always been better than I am at keeping secrets.”
“I made Mom and Dad promise. It would have only made you worry.” Emma lowered her voice until it was barely audible, thinking quickly to make up a story that would play on Allie’s sympathy. “They found a mass in my uterus and did a hysterectomy before I could blink.” Emma sipped her water, straightened, and cleared her throat. “It’s all messed up down there. And I wanted my own baby, not someone else’s.”
“Did you tell him?”
“Of course,” Emma replied in a soft voice and rubbed her temples. “And he suggested adopting. He brought me brochures he’d collected, showed me websites.”
“And?” Allie raised a brow.
“I knew it wouldn’t make me happy.” Emma drew in a deep breath.
Allie seemed to absorb this. “At least you had a choice. And you didn’t jump in and get stuck in a bad situation for years and years.”
“A bad situation?” Emma shifted and wrinkled her brow.
“An unhappy one.” Allie corrected herself. “I know that marriage is not the same as what I went through. You walked away . . . I lost a whole decade. It’s just wasted and I can’t get it back.” Allie looked out at the ocean and then back at Emma, her voice soft.
“Of course.”
“I’ve had so much time to think,” Allie continued. “And I have some ideas . . . some theories about everything that happened.”
Wrinkling her brow, Emma leaned forward to get a better look at her sister’s face. She recognized that expression, the stubborn and determined one. “What do you mean?” Emma asked. “Theories?”
Allie licked her lips. “I know that we couldn’t ever talk about it, back at Arrendale,” she murmured, “but I’ve always thought that Sheriff Gaines had everything to do with the coach’s death.”
Blinking at her sister, Emma’s jaw fell open. “What?”
“I’m serious.”
“Stop,” Emma hissed, glancing around. Now that the restaurant had filled up, no one, thank goodness, was paying them any attention. “Do you realize what you’re saying?”
“I do.”
“This isn’t the time or the place.” Emma frowned, keeping her voice low. “Don’t you want to put the past in the past? Let it go?” She paused and held her sister’s gaze. “You’re finally free.”
Allie blinked, bit her lip, and looked away.
Managing to conjure a sympathetic look, Emma continued, “I’m so sorry. I know it’s been hard for you. But you are out of that awful place. And that’s a blessing.”
Her sister didn’t reply.
Emma unfolded the napkin over her lap. “Listen, good comes out of bad sometimes. Like all of these years—all of this time having Caroline—it’s been a blessing to me.” She watched as her sister stiffened.
As Allie stared out at the waves crashing on the shore, Emma’s lips curved into a smile. She pressed her fingertips to the center of her chest, setting her jaw as if daring her sister to look up and defy her. “I love her so much. Caroline is my whole world.”
FOURTEEN
ALLIE
2016
Emma’s words sent a jolt through Allie’s body, like a rush of adrenaline after a lightning strike. The words hung in the evening air, daring, almost taunting her, as if Allie were somehow a threat.
Allie bristled, ready to defend her rightful place as her daughter’s mother. But when she opened her mouth to argue, Emma withdrew from her, crossing her arms across her chest. This was the Emma she knew. Oversensitive, quick to react. The first to have hurt feelings.
Perhaps, Allie thought, up until that minute, she hadn’t realized the depth of Emma’s love for Caroline. Her ten years behind bars had sheltered her from real life. In the few moments during those very first years when Allie let herself dwell on everything she was missing, the regret only hollowed out her soul.
Inhaling deeply, Allie thought long and hard as the
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