seems that this school has a real problem with that sort of thing." Spencer gave a pointed look at Autumn, which everyone noticed. "Forcing girls to be ashamed for doing the things that come natural to them--it's a ridiculous double standard, and we should all, frankly, tell anyone who judges us to screw off." A couple of girls nodded, including Marci Cooperstein, who was sitting directly behind Autumn. I watched as Marci reached out and gave Autumn's shoulder a little squeeze. Autumn turned around, surprised. The two girls smiled at each other. And I wanted to throw up. Melissa Sanchez raised her hand and Spencer called on her. "My brother found out I gave a hand job to one of his friends, and now he won't even look at me." Her chin started to quiver.
"See what I mean?" Spencer said. "That's horrible! Because I bet your brother wishes a girl would give him a hand job. But because you're his sister, you're dirty." I caught Autumn's eye and mouthed help. After all, she was sitting next to Spencer. If she could grab her hand and pull her down...do something. Autumn saw me. I knew she did. But all she did was look up at Spencer and smile. My control was slipping away. I quickly announced, "Now that we've got that out of the way...let's start tonight off by breaking out into groups. I've put some women's magazines out on the tables. I'd like everyone to tear out any positive female images and negative female images they see." Everyone broke into groups. Spencer marched over to me. "Why do you shut me down every time I open my mouth? I was making good points out there." I dragged her near the doors, out of earshot. "Listen, I'm sorry if you felt I cut you off. It's just we have a lot of things planned for tonight and a pretty tight schedule. I do want you to feel like you've got a say. But I need you to follow my lead, okay?" Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Aren't we supposed to be doing this together?" "Yes, but you need to voice your opinions in a way that's beneficial to the group. No one wants to see the two of us arguing." Spencer threw her hands up. "Fine, Natalie. Whatever you want. You call the shots. And I'll just stand here and be your bad-girl prop." "That's not what's going on." I folded my arms. Why was Spencer making this so difficult? It wasn't all about her. "Well, it sure feels that way," she snapped. "Look, you can lead the next discussion." "Whatever," she said, then stormed off. I couldn't believe it. How was it that Spencer didn't see the enormous olive branch I'd just handed to her? "What's happening?" Autumn asked. "Why are you being mean to Spencer?" "I'm not!" I ran my fingers through my hair. "Spencer's making a mess of everything. I could have used your help out there, except you were too busy making up with Marci to notice. Seriously. What was that about?" "Honestly, I have no idea." Autumn sounded genuine. "But I thought this was what you wanted tonight to be." I sighed, because Autumn couldn't understand. She didn't have Ms. Bee breathing down her neck. After a few minutes, Spencer called everyone back to the bleachers. I stood right next to her, so I could intervene easily if she got out of line. "Let's start with this picture." Spencer held up part of a back-to-school pictorial, where a sexed-up vamp of a teacher stood on her desk in fishnets and stilettos, with schoolboys cowering in a pile on the floor. "Does anyone have any thoughts?" No one raised their hand, so I stepped up. "I find this picture pretty sexist." "Really?" Spencer asked. "Umm, yes. This woman is clearly being objectified." "But don't you think she has the power in this situation? The boys are literally throwing themselves at her feet, groveling for her attention." I stared at the picture. Maybe Spencer had a point, but I still said, "Not really." "See--that's exactly what I mean. Any woman who dares show her sexual power--well, we automatically assume she's being victimized, taken advantage of. When really, we're the ones in
"See what I mean?" Spencer said. "That's horrible! Because I bet your brother wishes a girl would give him a hand job. But because you're his sister, you're dirty." I caught Autumn's eye and mouthed help. After all, she was sitting next to Spencer. If she could grab her hand and pull her down...do something. Autumn saw me. I knew she did. But all she did was look up at Spencer and smile. My control was slipping away. I quickly announced, "Now that we've got that out of the way...let's start tonight off by breaking out into groups. I've put some women's magazines out on the tables. I'd like everyone to tear out any positive female images and negative female images they see." Everyone broke into groups. Spencer marched over to me. "Why do you shut me down every time I open my mouth? I was making good points out there." I dragged her near the doors, out of earshot. "Listen, I'm sorry if you felt I cut you off. It's just we have a lot of things planned for tonight and a pretty tight schedule. I do want you to feel like you've got a say. But I need you to follow my lead, okay?" Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Aren't we supposed to be doing this together?" "Yes, but you need to voice your opinions in a way that's beneficial to the group. No one wants to see the two of us arguing." Spencer threw her hands up. "Fine, Natalie. Whatever you want. You call the shots. And I'll just stand here and be your bad-girl prop." "That's not what's going on." I folded my arms. Why was Spencer making this so difficult? It wasn't all about her. "Well, it sure feels that way," she snapped. "Look, you can lead the next discussion." "Whatever," she said, then stormed off. I couldn't believe it. How was it that Spencer didn't see the enormous olive branch I'd just handed to her? "What's happening?" Autumn asked. "Why are you being mean to Spencer?" "I'm not!" I ran my fingers through my hair. "Spencer's making a mess of everything. I could have used your help out there, except you were too busy making up with Marci to notice. Seriously. What was that about?" "Honestly, I have no idea." Autumn sounded genuine. "But I thought this was what you wanted tonight to be." I sighed, because Autumn couldn't understand. She didn't have Ms. Bee breathing down her neck. After a few minutes, Spencer called everyone back to the bleachers. I stood right next to her, so I could intervene easily if she got out of line. "Let's start with this picture." Spencer held up part of a back-to-school pictorial, where a sexed-up vamp of a teacher stood on her desk in fishnets and stilettos, with schoolboys cowering in a pile on the floor. "Does anyone have any thoughts?" No one raised their hand, so I stepped up. "I find this picture pretty sexist." "Really?" Spencer asked. "Umm, yes. This woman is clearly being objectified." "But don't you think she has the power in this situation? The boys are literally throwing themselves at her feet, groveling for her attention." I stared at the picture. Maybe Spencer had a point, but I still said, "Not really." "See--that's exactly what I mean. Any woman who dares show her sexual power--well, we automatically assume she's being victimized, taken advantage of. When really, we're the ones in
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