unable
to stop myself fearing the worst – whatever the worst was – I ran downstairs to the senior partner’s office and prepared to
face the lion in his den.
Chapter Four
[1]
Cornelius, looking as exhausted as if he had just suffered an asthma attack, was sitting huddled in his swivel chair behind
the enormous desk. I almost inquired anxiously about his health but when I saw the brutal line of his mouth I decided to keep
silent. With reluctance I at last allowed myself to speculate about the unknown mistake which had roused his wrath.
‘If I asked you a very simple question,’ said Cornelius in a tired patient voice, the one he regularly used before losing
his temper, ‘would it be too much to hope that you might give me a very simple answer?’
I was being invited to take the bull by the horns. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I mean, if I asked you if you were in the habit of repeating confidential conversations conducted with me in this room, you
wouldn’t go into some rambling evasive explanation that I’d find embarrassing, would you? I’d hate to be embarrassed by you,
Sam. I’d be very upset.’
‘Cut it out, Neil. You know damned well I don’t go broadcasting our private conversations to all and sundry.’
Cornelius immediately jumped to his feet, leaned forward with both hands on the desk and shouted at me: ‘Then why the hell
did you tell Alicia that I wanted you to marry Vicky?’
‘Because she gave me the impression she already knew all about it.’ My reflexes for warding off attack were so finely developed
that it was only after I had spoken that the shock made my heart thump painfully in my chest. I clasped my hands behind my
back, took a deep breath to steady myself and then made the classic move from defence tocounter-attack. ‘And why the hell didn’t you tell me,’ I demanded angrily, ‘that Alicia thought you shared her view that Vicky
should marry Sebastian? How do you think I felt when Alicia and I ended up talking at cross-purposes and she realized you
were trying to double-cross her? I don’t like being embarrassed by you either, Neil, and don’t think you have the monopoly
on getting upset by your friends.’
Cornelius slumped back in his chair. Long experience of dealing with him had made me aware that when he was angry with himself
he often tried to deflect his anger on to others, and long experience of dealing with me had taught him I was adept at absorbing
his anger and neutralizing it by remaining unintimidated. Now his anger was spent I saw that only the misery remained. He
began to breathe unevenly and I turned away as he produced the pills which warded off his asthma. He hated anyone to see him
when he was unwell.
‘Neil, believe me I’m sorry if this has resulted in trouble between you and Alicia, but—’
‘I’m not discussing my marriage with you either now or at any other time,’ he said, but as he paused to swallow the pills
it occurred to me that he longed to discuss it but was held back by complex emotions which I could not understand. ‘And talking
of marriage,’ he said, still breathing badly but unable to stop a second rush of anger, ‘Alicia tells me that you – quote
– were going to have to tell me – unquote – that you couldn’t marry Vicky. That sounds like an interesting decision, particularly
since you implied to me yesterday that you were willing to consider the idea. Can you possibly bring yourself to tell me more
about it? I just hate having important decisions relayed to me second-hand.’
Now I was really in deep water. Flicking a speck of dust from the seat of the client’s chair I sat down leisurely in order
to give myself a few precious seconds to plan my strategy. Should I lie, stall or tell the truth? I decided that the situation
was so far beyond redemption that an outright lie would be pointless, but I could not make up my mind whether to tell the
whole or the partial truth.
to stop myself fearing the worst – whatever the worst was – I ran downstairs to the senior partner’s office and prepared to
face the lion in his den.
Chapter Four
[1]
Cornelius, looking as exhausted as if he had just suffered an asthma attack, was sitting huddled in his swivel chair behind
the enormous desk. I almost inquired anxiously about his health but when I saw the brutal line of his mouth I decided to keep
silent. With reluctance I at last allowed myself to speculate about the unknown mistake which had roused his wrath.
‘If I asked you a very simple question,’ said Cornelius in a tired patient voice, the one he regularly used before losing
his temper, ‘would it be too much to hope that you might give me a very simple answer?’
I was being invited to take the bull by the horns. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I mean, if I asked you if you were in the habit of repeating confidential conversations conducted with me in this room, you
wouldn’t go into some rambling evasive explanation that I’d find embarrassing, would you? I’d hate to be embarrassed by you,
Sam. I’d be very upset.’
‘Cut it out, Neil. You know damned well I don’t go broadcasting our private conversations to all and sundry.’
Cornelius immediately jumped to his feet, leaned forward with both hands on the desk and shouted at me: ‘Then why the hell
did you tell Alicia that I wanted you to marry Vicky?’
‘Because she gave me the impression she already knew all about it.’ My reflexes for warding off attack were so finely developed
that it was only after I had spoken that the shock made my heart thump painfully in my chest. I clasped my hands behind my
back, took a deep breath to steady myself and then made the classic move from defence tocounter-attack. ‘And why the hell didn’t you tell me,’ I demanded angrily, ‘that Alicia thought you shared her view that Vicky
should marry Sebastian? How do you think I felt when Alicia and I ended up talking at cross-purposes and she realized you
were trying to double-cross her? I don’t like being embarrassed by you either, Neil, and don’t think you have the monopoly
on getting upset by your friends.’
Cornelius slumped back in his chair. Long experience of dealing with him had made me aware that when he was angry with himself
he often tried to deflect his anger on to others, and long experience of dealing with me had taught him I was adept at absorbing
his anger and neutralizing it by remaining unintimidated. Now his anger was spent I saw that only the misery remained. He
began to breathe unevenly and I turned away as he produced the pills which warded off his asthma. He hated anyone to see him
when he was unwell.
‘Neil, believe me I’m sorry if this has resulted in trouble between you and Alicia, but—’
‘I’m not discussing my marriage with you either now or at any other time,’ he said, but as he paused to swallow the pills
it occurred to me that he longed to discuss it but was held back by complex emotions which I could not understand. ‘And talking
of marriage,’ he said, still breathing badly but unable to stop a second rush of anger, ‘Alicia tells me that you – quote
– were going to have to tell me – unquote – that you couldn’t marry Vicky. That sounds like an interesting decision, particularly
since you implied to me yesterday that you were willing to consider the idea. Can you possibly bring yourself to tell me more
about it? I just hate having important decisions relayed to me second-hand.’
Now I was really in deep water. Flicking a speck of dust from the seat of the client’s chair I sat down leisurely in order
to give myself a few precious seconds to plan my strategy. Should I lie, stall or tell the truth? I decided that the situation
was so far beyond redemption that an outright lie would be pointless, but I could not make up my mind whether to tell the
whole or the partial truth.
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