man I’ve ever
come across. I don’t understand. I thought you wanted this too. Just as much as me.”
He touched her
face and then pulled his hand back, grinding his teeth together. This had to
come out. She had to hear him.
“Hazel, I don’t
remember a single thing about being with you that night. I was drunk and
selfish. And I had sex with you without even sharing at least my naked body. I
wish I could say I at least dropped my pants but I can’t because I don’t
remember. I couldn’t even remember your name. Or whether you were protected
because at this point, I’m sure I didn’t hold up my end of that part of the
deal. Hazel, I promise you, I came here tonight to own up to all that and
apologize, not take advantage of you again.”
Her mouth hung
open like words were caught in her throat.
She blinked so
many times he lost count.
His rant had
hurt her feelings. “Hey, I didn’t mean I don’t want to be here with you
tonight. Maybe I overreacted right now. But it’s just because I really care
about you. As much as I want you right now, I need you to know that, Hazel. I
would never have treated any woman like that, especially not you. And I’m so so sorry that I did.”
“You didn’t, hun .” She paused and
fiddled with the shirt he’d tucked under her arms. She blew out a strong
breath. “We didn’t sleep together Saturday night.”
Her blinking
slowed.
“But…I don’t
understand. We didn’t?”
“No, we didn’t.”
“Someone left me
a note saying we’d had an amazing night together.” How fricking drunk and stupid had he been that night? “I assumed, and hoped, it was you.”
“It was my note,
Ben.”
“I don’t
understand. Why would you do that?”
Her head dropped
into her hands, hiding her face from him while she spoke. “I have my reasons.”
Was this why
she’d been on the verge of tears all night?
“Why
Hazel?”
“Because
I was worried about you that night.”
He shook his
head. He wanted to be tender with her but it felt like he’d been punched in the
gut this time.
Hazel’s eyes
shut tight. “Because I wanted to make up for humiliating you
on your birthday.”
“You felt sorry
for me.”
At least with
her eyes closed, she wouldn’t see his disappointment. He’d been a complete
idiot, thinking she’d found him irresistible.
“I did. But you
don’t understand. I—”
“No, I get it. I
must seem pretty pathetic to you, then and now. Don’t feel bad, you were just
trying to be nice.”
There was no
escape on this little couch for him and his ego she’d bashed to pieces. But it
was more than that. Erby hadn’t broken his heart. But
Hazel had just now. As much as he knew that was because Hazel really mattered
to him, Ben stood up and searched the floor for his vest. It was the right
thing to do and she’d hurt him.
He shouldn’t
have, but he looked over at her, wishing he could erase the past ten minutes of
the night. Maybe they could get through this. How could he just leave her like
that? Yeah, those feelings would have mattered if she’d only met with him out
of something besides pity. She had both fists full of her red curls and had
pulled them back to the back of her head. “I’m sorry, Ben. I’m sorry.” She
started to tremble and shake but no tears came out.
God, he didn’t want
to leave her like this. Shit. He walked the few steps back to her side and
leaned down to try and loosen the grasp she had on her
hair but it was so tight. “Hey, Hazel, loosen up, you’re hurting yourself.” What
was the deal? This felt like more than just her feeling sorry about lying to
him.
He left her for
a moment to find her top and when he had it, he sat down at her side and handed
it to her. “Hazel, here. Put this on. I won’t lie, I
don’t like what you did but I won’t leave you like this.”
“You don’t know
anything about me.”
Well, hell no,
he didn’t. That’s why they should talk. He hated feeling anger towards her but
she
come across. I don’t understand. I thought you wanted this too. Just as much as me.”
He touched her
face and then pulled his hand back, grinding his teeth together. This had to
come out. She had to hear him.
“Hazel, I don’t
remember a single thing about being with you that night. I was drunk and
selfish. And I had sex with you without even sharing at least my naked body. I
wish I could say I at least dropped my pants but I can’t because I don’t
remember. I couldn’t even remember your name. Or whether you were protected
because at this point, I’m sure I didn’t hold up my end of that part of the
deal. Hazel, I promise you, I came here tonight to own up to all that and
apologize, not take advantage of you again.”
Her mouth hung
open like words were caught in her throat.
She blinked so
many times he lost count.
His rant had
hurt her feelings. “Hey, I didn’t mean I don’t want to be here with you
tonight. Maybe I overreacted right now. But it’s just because I really care
about you. As much as I want you right now, I need you to know that, Hazel. I
would never have treated any woman like that, especially not you. And I’m so so sorry that I did.”
“You didn’t, hun .” She paused and
fiddled with the shirt he’d tucked under her arms. She blew out a strong
breath. “We didn’t sleep together Saturday night.”
Her blinking
slowed.
“But…I don’t
understand. We didn’t?”
“No, we didn’t.”
“Someone left me
a note saying we’d had an amazing night together.” How fricking drunk and stupid had he been that night? “I assumed, and hoped, it was you.”
“It was my note,
Ben.”
“I don’t
understand. Why would you do that?”
Her head dropped
into her hands, hiding her face from him while she spoke. “I have my reasons.”
Was this why
she’d been on the verge of tears all night?
“Why
Hazel?”
“Because
I was worried about you that night.”
He shook his
head. He wanted to be tender with her but it felt like he’d been punched in the
gut this time.
Hazel’s eyes
shut tight. “Because I wanted to make up for humiliating you
on your birthday.”
“You felt sorry
for me.”
At least with
her eyes closed, she wouldn’t see his disappointment. He’d been a complete
idiot, thinking she’d found him irresistible.
“I did. But you
don’t understand. I—”
“No, I get it. I
must seem pretty pathetic to you, then and now. Don’t feel bad, you were just
trying to be nice.”
There was no
escape on this little couch for him and his ego she’d bashed to pieces. But it
was more than that. Erby hadn’t broken his heart. But
Hazel had just now. As much as he knew that was because Hazel really mattered
to him, Ben stood up and searched the floor for his vest. It was the right
thing to do and she’d hurt him.
He shouldn’t
have, but he looked over at her, wishing he could erase the past ten minutes of
the night. Maybe they could get through this. How could he just leave her like
that? Yeah, those feelings would have mattered if she’d only met with him out
of something besides pity. She had both fists full of her red curls and had
pulled them back to the back of her head. “I’m sorry, Ben. I’m sorry.” She
started to tremble and shake but no tears came out.
God, he didn’t want
to leave her like this. Shit. He walked the few steps back to her side and
leaned down to try and loosen the grasp she had on her
hair but it was so tight. “Hey, Hazel, loosen up, you’re hurting yourself.” What
was the deal? This felt like more than just her feeling sorry about lying to
him.
He left her for
a moment to find her top and when he had it, he sat down at her side and handed
it to her. “Hazel, here. Put this on. I won’t lie, I
don’t like what you did but I won’t leave you like this.”
“You don’t know
anything about me.”
Well, hell no,
he didn’t. That’s why they should talk. He hated feeling anger towards her but
she
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