left, letting in another blast of cold air, but I barely felt it.
I walked over to my couch on shaky legs and sank onto the soft cushions. Did that really happen? Or was it simply a dream? I pinched myself and sure enough, reality of my situation kicked in.
Why now?
Why would Reed knock on my door the morning after Julien and I first made love? Was I cursed, being punished by the gods?
I nearly growled out loud in frustration. I knew I'd have a lot to think about today, but I figured it'd be centered on Julien, and how sleeping together could change our friendship; what would happen between us next. I'd never in a million years thought that something like this would happen. I’d been looking forward, focusing on my future… not back.
I sighed, hugging my knees to my chest, trying to curl myself into a tight little ball. Maybe if I were small enough, all of this pain and confusion would diminish as well.
Not too long ago, Reed coming to my door and saying that he'd picked me over Britni would've been everything I ever wanted. But I'd spent my time since that last conversation trying to get over him. I didn't know how well it'd worked.
“Hey.” Julien's voice came from behind me.
I jumped up, my face flushing. “Julien, I–”
“You don't have to say anything,” he interrupted. He picked up his jacket from where he'd tossed it on the couch the night before. “What happened between us was a mistake.”
I stared at him, unable to believe my ears. The words hurt more than they should have.
“Things just got out of hand. It won't happen again.” His tone was flat and he couldn't look me in the eye. “I should go be with my mother.”
He left before I could argue. Not that there was anything I could've said. 'Hey, I know your dad just died and you want to be with your grieving mother, but I want to talk about the fact that we just fucked' didn't exactly seem like the best thing to do.
I sank down on the couch and put my head in my hands. How had things gotten this fucked up? I'd done the right thing and walked away from Reed. I'd told myself to stay away from romance and had been doing a pretty good job of it. Now, in one night, the nice little world I'd been building for myself here was shattered.
I didn't know what I was supposed to think or do. There was no order to the chaos in my head. I couldn't figure out what to process first. Reed's declaration? What had happened between Julien and me? His abrupt departure? My feelings for Reed? My feelings for Julien? Did I believe Reed? How damaged was my friendship with Julien?
There were too many question marks, far too much for my brain to handle, particularly without coffee. I stood. I needed to call in reinforcements. Anastascia was going to be pissed that I woke her up this early on a Saturday, but when she heard what happened, I knew she'd understand.
My only other option was to go curl up in bed again and try to pretend like none of this had happened. But considering my sheets and pillows probably smelled like Julien now – that subtle musky scent that wasn't cologne or aftershave, just him – I doubted I'd be able to put anything out of my mind. So, no matter how much I wanted to act like nothing had changed, I trudged back upstairs to get my phone and make the call.
Chapter 2
I ended up spending Thanksgiving with Anastascia and her parents. They'd both been happy to have me and the holiday should've been the best I'd had since before my mother died. In Vegas, I always worked the holidays. The tips sucked, but there had usually been a bonus and the girls with families always appreciated it. Being with the Galaways was the closest thing to being with family I'd had in more than two years, but I hadn't been able to fully enjoy the experience.
I'd called Anastascia not long after Julien left and told her everything. She'd agreed that pushing Julien about what had happened wouldn't be right considering all he was going through. Instead, I sent him
I walked over to my couch on shaky legs and sank onto the soft cushions. Did that really happen? Or was it simply a dream? I pinched myself and sure enough, reality of my situation kicked in.
Why now?
Why would Reed knock on my door the morning after Julien and I first made love? Was I cursed, being punished by the gods?
I nearly growled out loud in frustration. I knew I'd have a lot to think about today, but I figured it'd be centered on Julien, and how sleeping together could change our friendship; what would happen between us next. I'd never in a million years thought that something like this would happen. I’d been looking forward, focusing on my future… not back.
I sighed, hugging my knees to my chest, trying to curl myself into a tight little ball. Maybe if I were small enough, all of this pain and confusion would diminish as well.
Not too long ago, Reed coming to my door and saying that he'd picked me over Britni would've been everything I ever wanted. But I'd spent my time since that last conversation trying to get over him. I didn't know how well it'd worked.
“Hey.” Julien's voice came from behind me.
I jumped up, my face flushing. “Julien, I–”
“You don't have to say anything,” he interrupted. He picked up his jacket from where he'd tossed it on the couch the night before. “What happened between us was a mistake.”
I stared at him, unable to believe my ears. The words hurt more than they should have.
“Things just got out of hand. It won't happen again.” His tone was flat and he couldn't look me in the eye. “I should go be with my mother.”
He left before I could argue. Not that there was anything I could've said. 'Hey, I know your dad just died and you want to be with your grieving mother, but I want to talk about the fact that we just fucked' didn't exactly seem like the best thing to do.
I sank down on the couch and put my head in my hands. How had things gotten this fucked up? I'd done the right thing and walked away from Reed. I'd told myself to stay away from romance and had been doing a pretty good job of it. Now, in one night, the nice little world I'd been building for myself here was shattered.
I didn't know what I was supposed to think or do. There was no order to the chaos in my head. I couldn't figure out what to process first. Reed's declaration? What had happened between Julien and me? His abrupt departure? My feelings for Reed? My feelings for Julien? Did I believe Reed? How damaged was my friendship with Julien?
There were too many question marks, far too much for my brain to handle, particularly without coffee. I stood. I needed to call in reinforcements. Anastascia was going to be pissed that I woke her up this early on a Saturday, but when she heard what happened, I knew she'd understand.
My only other option was to go curl up in bed again and try to pretend like none of this had happened. But considering my sheets and pillows probably smelled like Julien now – that subtle musky scent that wasn't cologne or aftershave, just him – I doubted I'd be able to put anything out of my mind. So, no matter how much I wanted to act like nothing had changed, I trudged back upstairs to get my phone and make the call.
Chapter 2
I ended up spending Thanksgiving with Anastascia and her parents. They'd both been happy to have me and the holiday should've been the best I'd had since before my mother died. In Vegas, I always worked the holidays. The tips sucked, but there had usually been a bonus and the girls with families always appreciated it. Being with the Galaways was the closest thing to being with family I'd had in more than two years, but I hadn't been able to fully enjoy the experience.
I'd called Anastascia not long after Julien left and told her everything. She'd agreed that pushing Julien about what had happened wouldn't be right considering all he was going through. Instead, I sent him
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