life with Mark. Hardly a day passed when we didn’t talk. It had become habit to bounce ideas off him. “It’s nothing,” I said, accepting anew that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to bend his ear in the future.
That satisfied him, or seemed to for a split second. “Something’s on your mind, so just say it.”
“Okay, I will. It isn’t important and I don’t know why I even wanted to tell you this…I’ve agreed to attend a survivors’ support group meeting next week. It’s time I did…earlier today I had a long talk with my mother and she mentioned a few things that shook me up.”
“Like what?”
Mark tried to show indifference, but his attempt didn’t fool me. “She thinks it’s for the best that you’re moving away,” I told him.
He arched his brows as though curious, so I continued. “She thinks I’ve used our friendship as insulation.”
“As what?”
“I’ve come to depend on you too much.” I felt my throat thickening. “She’s right, you know. I consider you my dearest friend…I’ve felt safe when you were close…I knew I could depend on you to help me and I became far too comfortable in my protected little world.”
“Your mother’s right; it’s time I left so you can figure out things on your own.”
I could have lied, but he would have seen through it. “I don’t see it that way. It hurts to let you go, Mark. I’m going to miss you so much.” My voice trembled as I struggled to keep from showing how emotional I felt.
“It’s necessary.”
“So you keep reminding me, although you refuse to tell me why.”
“You’re not going to sit around and mope after I’m gone, are you?” His words were more challenge than question.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
The spark of humor that had leaked into his eyes disappeared. “No, Jo Marie, I wouldn’t. Attend those meetings; you’ll find them useful, and in helping others you might find some comfort yourself.”
He was right and I knew it. “I’m going to do more than attend meetings,” I said, determined to prove that I wasn’t going to waste time longing for his return.
“Good.”
“I’m going out.”
He’d turned away but quickly reversed motion. “Out? You mean you’re going to date again?”
“Probably.”
He let the possibility soak in. It seemed to take a long time for him to nod. “You should.”
“That won’t bother you?” It was a ridiculous question and one best left unasked, but I couldn’t help myself.
He emitted a low growl. “It’s going to bother the hell out of me.”
I couldn’t restrain a smile if I’d tried. “Thank you for that. It soothes my ego.”
“You’re beautiful, Jo Marie, and you have a lot to offer, so don’t cut yourself short and don’t take second best.”
“What do you consider second best?”
He shook his head, letting me know he had no intention of answering. “I’ll bring Rover by later this afternoon.”
It came to me why then. “You consider yourself second best, don’t you?”
Ignoring me, Mark continued about his business. “Like I said, I’ll bring Rover back later.”
“In other words, it’s time for me to go.”
“Exactly.”
I chuckled softly. “Tell me how you really feel.”
He straightened and whirled around to confront me, his look as dark and intense as I’ve ever seen him. “Just trust me on this.”
He was wrong. I hungered to know what had driven him to this point, why he refused to let himself love me, but nothing I said or did made as much as a dent in his determination to go. I’d lost the will to fight him.
“Don’t worry about Rover. I’ve got a couple of errands to run. I’ll leave him with you and be back in an hour or so. Does that work for you?”
“Works fine. Are you ready to go yet?” he asked.
“Ready,” I returned, and I was.
The moment Cedar Cove High School came into sight, Katie was filled with nostalgia; the memories were a mixture of challenges and joys. Although
That satisfied him, or seemed to for a split second. “Something’s on your mind, so just say it.”
“Okay, I will. It isn’t important and I don’t know why I even wanted to tell you this…I’ve agreed to attend a survivors’ support group meeting next week. It’s time I did…earlier today I had a long talk with my mother and she mentioned a few things that shook me up.”
“Like what?”
Mark tried to show indifference, but his attempt didn’t fool me. “She thinks it’s for the best that you’re moving away,” I told him.
He arched his brows as though curious, so I continued. “She thinks I’ve used our friendship as insulation.”
“As what?”
“I’ve come to depend on you too much.” I felt my throat thickening. “She’s right, you know. I consider you my dearest friend…I’ve felt safe when you were close…I knew I could depend on you to help me and I became far too comfortable in my protected little world.”
“Your mother’s right; it’s time I left so you can figure out things on your own.”
I could have lied, but he would have seen through it. “I don’t see it that way. It hurts to let you go, Mark. I’m going to miss you so much.” My voice trembled as I struggled to keep from showing how emotional I felt.
“It’s necessary.”
“So you keep reminding me, although you refuse to tell me why.”
“You’re not going to sit around and mope after I’m gone, are you?” His words were more challenge than question.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
The spark of humor that had leaked into his eyes disappeared. “No, Jo Marie, I wouldn’t. Attend those meetings; you’ll find them useful, and in helping others you might find some comfort yourself.”
He was right and I knew it. “I’m going to do more than attend meetings,” I said, determined to prove that I wasn’t going to waste time longing for his return.
“Good.”
“I’m going out.”
He’d turned away but quickly reversed motion. “Out? You mean you’re going to date again?”
“Probably.”
He let the possibility soak in. It seemed to take a long time for him to nod. “You should.”
“That won’t bother you?” It was a ridiculous question and one best left unasked, but I couldn’t help myself.
He emitted a low growl. “It’s going to bother the hell out of me.”
I couldn’t restrain a smile if I’d tried. “Thank you for that. It soothes my ego.”
“You’re beautiful, Jo Marie, and you have a lot to offer, so don’t cut yourself short and don’t take second best.”
“What do you consider second best?”
He shook his head, letting me know he had no intention of answering. “I’ll bring Rover by later this afternoon.”
It came to me why then. “You consider yourself second best, don’t you?”
Ignoring me, Mark continued about his business. “Like I said, I’ll bring Rover back later.”
“In other words, it’s time for me to go.”
“Exactly.”
I chuckled softly. “Tell me how you really feel.”
He straightened and whirled around to confront me, his look as dark and intense as I’ve ever seen him. “Just trust me on this.”
He was wrong. I hungered to know what had driven him to this point, why he refused to let himself love me, but nothing I said or did made as much as a dent in his determination to go. I’d lost the will to fight him.
“Don’t worry about Rover. I’ve got a couple of errands to run. I’ll leave him with you and be back in an hour or so. Does that work for you?”
“Works fine. Are you ready to go yet?” he asked.
“Ready,” I returned, and I was.
The moment Cedar Cove High School came into sight, Katie was filled with nostalgia; the memories were a mixture of challenges and joys. Although
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