breaking the moment.”
I looked around a bit and found a spot to sit down, internally bemoaning the abuse of my pants, but not willing to stay up—or worse, to return. Keith sat down beside me, close enough to be able to talk in half whispers, but far enough not to be intimate. The entourage was so textbook romantic that I almost snorted in disappointment.
And that scared me.
“I don’t know much about you once you take the music out of the picture,” I said, eager to talk in order to cover my traitorous thoughts.
“No, you don’t. I guess I don’t know much about you, either.”
“I thought you did. You know, me being the Bitch Princess and all that,” I said, trying to joke a bit.
“I’m sorry about that, I guess,” he said with a smile, not looking very apologetic.
“You guess? That’s a half-assed apology if I ever heard one.”
“I’m still not sure whether I should be apologizing.”
I turned to him sharply. “What do you mean?”
“Come on, you’re the perfect girl who has everything. Your friends, your project boyfriend, your admirers. Everyone at school would like to be like you, and they’d all settle for being close to you. But they can never get there.” He gestured, as if trying to encompass everything I was, and shrugged. “And then, there’s me. It’s difficult to imagine why you might want to be here.”
“You don’t trust me.” I didn’t phrase it like a question. It wasn’t one.
“I don’t understand you,” he corrected, shaking his head. “You’d lose everything you crave if anyone saw us, and I don’t get why you’re risking it. It’s not as if you’re the rebellious type, seeing the wrong guy for the thrill of making a point, Alice.”
“Okay,” I said, fighting the urge to stand up and stomp all the way back to my house. This had gone sour all too fast… and the worst part was that he was right, so my self-righteous ire felt fake and cheap. “Why are you hanging out with me if you think I have some hidden agenda, then?”
“Because I’m pathetic. I don’t really care what you’re going to do with me if I can have this in the meantime.”
My retort died in my throat. The sun was already sinking beyond the horizon and, where we were under the trees, it was almost night. His silhouette, sitting by my side in the mud, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head, looked frail and defeated… and lonely.
“You must be really lonely to say that,” I blurted out without thinking.
“No pity fest, please. It’s not about loneliness, in any case.”
“What is it, then?”
He shrugged, uncomfortable. “I’m fine being alone. I just missed you,” he said.
It didn’t sound too believable.
“You’ve not seen me since we were kids. We’ve both changed a lot. How can you miss me?”
He darted a quick glance at me. It stole my breath away because in that one second, I felt that he truly had.
“Don’t you…?” he started to say, then shook his head. “Never mind. It’s nothing.”
It wasn’t “nothing.” It was important to him, and I wanted his revelation. I wanted his secrets. But he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and in spite of what he thought, I wasn’t out to make his life difficult, so I forced myself to do the right thing and dropped the subject.
“I don’t have a boyfriend, nor a project boyfriend,” I said instead. It was important to clear that up.
“Dave?”
“Just a friend.”
He nodded, smiling. I could catch a glimpse of white teeth in the dark. “I shouldn’t be feeling good about that, right?”
“It’s okay if you do.” I didn’t know what possessed me to say such a thing, but I didn’t regret the words when they left my lips.
He turned sharply to look at me, his eyes searching, trying to figure out my game. I held his gaze, even when he inched forward and was so close that I could smell the shampoo he had used that morning. I only closed my eyes when he tilted his head to the
I looked around a bit and found a spot to sit down, internally bemoaning the abuse of my pants, but not willing to stay up—or worse, to return. Keith sat down beside me, close enough to be able to talk in half whispers, but far enough not to be intimate. The entourage was so textbook romantic that I almost snorted in disappointment.
And that scared me.
“I don’t know much about you once you take the music out of the picture,” I said, eager to talk in order to cover my traitorous thoughts.
“No, you don’t. I guess I don’t know much about you, either.”
“I thought you did. You know, me being the Bitch Princess and all that,” I said, trying to joke a bit.
“I’m sorry about that, I guess,” he said with a smile, not looking very apologetic.
“You guess? That’s a half-assed apology if I ever heard one.”
“I’m still not sure whether I should be apologizing.”
I turned to him sharply. “What do you mean?”
“Come on, you’re the perfect girl who has everything. Your friends, your project boyfriend, your admirers. Everyone at school would like to be like you, and they’d all settle for being close to you. But they can never get there.” He gestured, as if trying to encompass everything I was, and shrugged. “And then, there’s me. It’s difficult to imagine why you might want to be here.”
“You don’t trust me.” I didn’t phrase it like a question. It wasn’t one.
“I don’t understand you,” he corrected, shaking his head. “You’d lose everything you crave if anyone saw us, and I don’t get why you’re risking it. It’s not as if you’re the rebellious type, seeing the wrong guy for the thrill of making a point, Alice.”
“Okay,” I said, fighting the urge to stand up and stomp all the way back to my house. This had gone sour all too fast… and the worst part was that he was right, so my self-righteous ire felt fake and cheap. “Why are you hanging out with me if you think I have some hidden agenda, then?”
“Because I’m pathetic. I don’t really care what you’re going to do with me if I can have this in the meantime.”
My retort died in my throat. The sun was already sinking beyond the horizon and, where we were under the trees, it was almost night. His silhouette, sitting by my side in the mud, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head, looked frail and defeated… and lonely.
“You must be really lonely to say that,” I blurted out without thinking.
“No pity fest, please. It’s not about loneliness, in any case.”
“What is it, then?”
He shrugged, uncomfortable. “I’m fine being alone. I just missed you,” he said.
It didn’t sound too believable.
“You’ve not seen me since we were kids. We’ve both changed a lot. How can you miss me?”
He darted a quick glance at me. It stole my breath away because in that one second, I felt that he truly had.
“Don’t you…?” he started to say, then shook his head. “Never mind. It’s nothing.”
It wasn’t “nothing.” It was important to him, and I wanted his revelation. I wanted his secrets. But he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and in spite of what he thought, I wasn’t out to make his life difficult, so I forced myself to do the right thing and dropped the subject.
“I don’t have a boyfriend, nor a project boyfriend,” I said instead. It was important to clear that up.
“Dave?”
“Just a friend.”
He nodded, smiling. I could catch a glimpse of white teeth in the dark. “I shouldn’t be feeling good about that, right?”
“It’s okay if you do.” I didn’t know what possessed me to say such a thing, but I didn’t regret the words when they left my lips.
He turned sharply to look at me, his eyes searching, trying to figure out my game. I held his gaze, even when he inched forward and was so close that I could smell the shampoo he had used that morning. I only closed my eyes when he tilted his head to the
Similar Books
