Silent by Sara Alva Page B

woulda missed your really sad attempts to flirt with me,” she finished with a giggle.
    Pretty sure the wanting-to-kill-someone look was back, I decided to cut my losses and leave. Maybe I could curl up in a cocoon of blankets and spend the rest of the day in bed, like Seb. It definitely would’ve been an improvement.
    “No, wait, Alex.” Laloni’s hand came down on my shoulder as I stepped away. “I’m only teasing. I just like to get to know Brandon’s foster brothers…see if they gonna be a good influence or a bad influence on him.”
    “I don’t have no brothers,” I growled.
    Her eyes fluttered up dramatically. “Whatever. You know what I mean.”
    I tried to keep walking, but Brandon’s hand came down on my other shoulder. “You know, you don’t always have to be such a dick to us. We really ain’t as bad as you like to think.”
    He ended by giving me a little pat, and I glanced back at him. His dimples were showing again, and the smile seemed pretty genuine.
    Why did he have to look so freaking good?
    I let my own expression melt into something reflecting grudging acceptance, and he grinned even wider.
    “So, Laloni…” I turned to face her again. “What’d you decide…’bout myinfluence?”
    She smirked and intertwined her fingers with Brandon’s. “Not sure yet. I’ll let you know.” Then she looked up at him and batted her lashes. “Walk me home?”
    Her eyes got all soft when she asked, and his responded the same way. “Sure thing, babe.”
    “See ya tomorrow, Alex.” She waved as they walked off.
    I watched them leave, hands still locked together, and besides being thankful the encounter was over, another sensation hit me. That way Brandon was looking at her…puppy-dog love mixed with regular teenage lust…shit, what I wouldn’t have given for him to look at me like that.
    But I squashed the thought as soon as it popped up. Jealousy didn’t suit me.
    Oh well. At least I still had the shed, the cigarettes, and Seb.
     
    ~*~
     
    “You coulda told me Brandon had a girlfriend,” I said to Seb that evening.
    Today he was refilling the little holes he’d previously made in the ground, smoothing out the dirt so it was nice and even again. He used the blank canvas to draw squiggles with his finger.
    “Not that I really mind, or anything…it’s just…well, for a minute I thought she was interested in me.”
    Seb’s hand made little pat-pat noises as he flattened another lump of soil.
    “She’s all right, I guess. You ever met her? Probably not, huh. I bet Ms. Loretta don’t let you guys have girls over.”
    I pulled a cigarette out of the pack, but didn’t light it up.
    “You ever had a girlfriend, Seb?”
    He was ignoring me more than usual today. Just more of the same turn-for-shit my life had taken…I couldn’t even keep a retard interested.
    I leaned back all the way to the ground, cushioning my head with my arms so I could stare up at the hazy-pink full moon. “Well, I have. Had a few. Was probably about to have another one right before I left…this girl named Blanca.”
    A shudder ran through me. She’d been so grabby and forceful. Probably one of those clingy girls…
    “Kinda glad I avoided that one.” I snickered.
    Seb looked over at me for some reason, and I automatically stumbled into an explanation. “Uh…’cause she was annoying.”
    He seemed to have just noticed I was lying down, and decided to do the same, scooting his body close to mine.
    “Do you want to have a girlfriend?” I asked, glancing over and catching the reflection of the moon in his dark eyes.
    He stared back, but of course, didn’t say anything.
    Such a shame he was retarded. Those wide almond eyes of his were actually pretty fucking amazing.
    “I don’t.”
    Had I just said that out loud? Jesus Christ.
    “I mean, ’cause, uh, it’s much better to be a free man, ya know?”
    Seb turned away again, the corner of his lip twitching.
    What the fuck was wrong with me? I was getting