Show and Tell by Niobia Bryant Page B

lick of his lips. “Taquan, I want to be with you in every way.”
    He gave himself one last long look at my body before he shifts his eyes to mine again. “And we will . . . one day—”
    â€œToday,” I stress.
    â€œOne day,” he stresses.
    â€œToday,” I stress again.
    â€œThe Bible says ‘For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.’ ”
    The man I want to make love with is throwing Bible verses at me while I am straddling him in a crotchless see-through teddy. Talk about a mood killer.
    â€œI’m sorry, Latoya, but if you can’t understand—and respect—how serious I am about this then I don’t think we can be in a relationship.”
    His words make me climb right off his lap. I cross my arms over my exposed breasts as I step back from him. “You know, Taquan, a lot of my life has been filled with lies and deception on my part. This last year I have really tried to find myself and be true to myself. Be it right or be it wrong.”
    He stands and removes his suit jacket. “So what are you saying?” he asks softly as he moves behind me to place the jacket around my near nudity.
    I have to swallow back a shiver at the feel of his hands on my body. Even the most innocent move from him makes me want him even more. “It’s hard for me to be around you so much and to want you so much and not have you,” I admit, turning so that I can look up into his face.
    â€œThis is very important to me, Latoya,” he stresses with conviction clearly in his face.
    What can I say? Sex is important to me? That would sound trashy—especially to a church boy like Taquan. God, this would be so much easier if Taquan looked more like damn Flavor Flav’s oogly ass than Idris Elba.
    â€œMaybe I should go and give you time to decide,” he says.
    I feel alarm. “Decide what?”
    â€œIf a relationship with me without sex is what you want,” he answers without hesitation, his voice hard and certain.
    Dang on it. The man or the sex? That’s a crazy choice for a woman to make. I will never make love with Taquan unless we get married. Hell, what if he never proposes? What if I don’t accept?
    Maybe I do need to think this over.
    He must have seen that on my face because he leans down and kisses me on both my cheeks and my forehead before he turns to leave. I turn away because I can’t watch him go. Is this the end for Taquan and I? I’m not promiscuous, but can I grab the celibacy torch from Alizé and run with it? I’ve had some really good sex and it’s going to be hard to forget that.
    I slump down onto the couch and wince as the cool leather sticks to my vagina lips. It’s a shame that’s all the action I’m getting tonight.

    Cash rules everything around me. Humph. How true that is.
    Cristal stands up from behind her desk as soon as I walk out into the reception area of Lowe, Ingram, and Banks. “Oh, God, Mo, what’s wrong? What did she say?” she asks with concern as she comes from behind her area to take my hands in hers.
    Does my face show how scared I am?
    I look up at her and I feel the tears in my eyes. “Last night I’m trying to make Taquan make love to me like that’s important. How stupid is that when I don’t have two red cents to rub together to pay for this . . . this child custody suit. He can afford the best and I can’t afford . . . to fight for my baby. She needs ten thousand dollars just to get started.”
    My chest heaves as I fight to breathe in air. I feel like I am drowning. “I told her about the rape thing. I told her how rich Bones is and . . . and . . . that he hates me. She thinks he’s going to file papers for temporary custody. Oh, my God. I’m gonna lose my baby.”
    My legs give out from under me and Cristal struggles on her stilettos to hold me up.

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