“Arturo Morales. Alice Springs. Conrad Martin. And Samuel Eko.” She paused,thinking, and I waited. “Yes,” she said. “That’s all. Everyone else has been released.”
Not Pär, I thought. So they didn’t know about him. But that small bit of pleasure was short-lived.
“Do you know Pär Lundkvist?” she asked.
I was surprised by the question. Surely she knew of my friendship with him. I’d never made a secret of it.
“The dwarf,” I said. “Yes, I know him. Why?”
“He, too, has been identified as one of the leaders. However, although they would like to arrest and imprison him with the rest of you, they cannot find him.”
I thought I detected a touch of a smile from her.
“They can’t find him?”
“No. They have been searching the ship for days. Speculation is divided between two possibilities. Either he is still aboard and well-hidden, or he somehow managed, in all the confusion, to get down to Antioch before we broke orbit.”
“That doesn’t seem likely, does it?”
“No. But there is a shuttle missing from the other transport hold. We don’t know how, nor do we know if Pär was even capable of piloting it. But we can’t find it or him.”
We sat without speaking for a while. It was good just to have her there in my cell with me. I didn’t much mind being imprisoned, but I had missed her.
She said she had to go, then asked me if there was anything she could do or get for me.
“No,” I told her. “I have everything I need, everything I could ever want.” But then I shook my head, and said more seriously, “No.”
She got up from the bed. “I’ll go now, but I’ll visit again.”
“Thanks.”
She went to the door, tapped on it, and was let out. As soon as she was out of sight and the door locked shut again, I began to miss her. Once again, I smelled honey and cinnamon.
I hoped Pär was alive out there somewhere. I imagined him, as unlikely as it seemed, piloting the shuttle outof the Argonos , perhaps struggling with it even as he guided it out of orbit and into a rough and ragged descent.
Did he try to find one of the deserted settlements to start his new life? Or did he head for unknown territory as mysterious and uncertain as his own future? I didn’t know. But in my mind he landed the shuttle safely, and stepped out onto solid ground, alone and free.
T HE days continued to pass without change. I saw no one, I talked to no one. Father Veronica did not return to see me again. I tried not to speculate on the reasons.
I thought a lot about our betrayal, and what Father Veronica said, thought a lot about “my captain.” I came to believe he knew about the insurrection all along. He may have known about it even before I did. He’d told me he had plans to consolidate his position, to take care of the bishop. I wondered, did he know of my involvement all along? Was I just a price he had to pay? Perhaps he never thought it much of a price.
I passed the time sleeping, meditating, exercising infrequently, and thinking. I did not become bored. I was in a kind of trance, as if I’d shifted out of normal time so that I had no sense of its passage. I existed, and I waited. For a time, that was enough.
F ATHER Veronica finally came to see me again. She was distraught, and apologized for not coming sooner. “I was denied access to you,” she explained.
“Why?”
“I still don’t know. Perhaps because of what we talked about when I was here; I was probably unwisely indiscreet. I have been permitted to visit any of the prisoners except you. It’s taken all this time for me to work out permission for one last visit.”
One last visit. I felt something hard and heavy sink into my stomach with those words.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I will try to get visitation rightsreinstated. I’ll keep at it, but it may take time before I make any progress. No one has any interest in helping me, and no one has any sympathy for you. The other leaders were all
Not Pär, I thought. So they didn’t know about him. But that small bit of pleasure was short-lived.
“Do you know Pär Lundkvist?” she asked.
I was surprised by the question. Surely she knew of my friendship with him. I’d never made a secret of it.
“The dwarf,” I said. “Yes, I know him. Why?”
“He, too, has been identified as one of the leaders. However, although they would like to arrest and imprison him with the rest of you, they cannot find him.”
I thought I detected a touch of a smile from her.
“They can’t find him?”
“No. They have been searching the ship for days. Speculation is divided between two possibilities. Either he is still aboard and well-hidden, or he somehow managed, in all the confusion, to get down to Antioch before we broke orbit.”
“That doesn’t seem likely, does it?”
“No. But there is a shuttle missing from the other transport hold. We don’t know how, nor do we know if Pär was even capable of piloting it. But we can’t find it or him.”
We sat without speaking for a while. It was good just to have her there in my cell with me. I didn’t much mind being imprisoned, but I had missed her.
She said she had to go, then asked me if there was anything she could do or get for me.
“No,” I told her. “I have everything I need, everything I could ever want.” But then I shook my head, and said more seriously, “No.”
She got up from the bed. “I’ll go now, but I’ll visit again.”
“Thanks.”
She went to the door, tapped on it, and was let out. As soon as she was out of sight and the door locked shut again, I began to miss her. Once again, I smelled honey and cinnamon.
I hoped Pär was alive out there somewhere. I imagined him, as unlikely as it seemed, piloting the shuttle outof the Argonos , perhaps struggling with it even as he guided it out of orbit and into a rough and ragged descent.
Did he try to find one of the deserted settlements to start his new life? Or did he head for unknown territory as mysterious and uncertain as his own future? I didn’t know. But in my mind he landed the shuttle safely, and stepped out onto solid ground, alone and free.
T HE days continued to pass without change. I saw no one, I talked to no one. Father Veronica did not return to see me again. I tried not to speculate on the reasons.
I thought a lot about our betrayal, and what Father Veronica said, thought a lot about “my captain.” I came to believe he knew about the insurrection all along. He may have known about it even before I did. He’d told me he had plans to consolidate his position, to take care of the bishop. I wondered, did he know of my involvement all along? Was I just a price he had to pay? Perhaps he never thought it much of a price.
I passed the time sleeping, meditating, exercising infrequently, and thinking. I did not become bored. I was in a kind of trance, as if I’d shifted out of normal time so that I had no sense of its passage. I existed, and I waited. For a time, that was enough.
F ATHER Veronica finally came to see me again. She was distraught, and apologized for not coming sooner. “I was denied access to you,” she explained.
“Why?”
“I still don’t know. Perhaps because of what we talked about when I was here; I was probably unwisely indiscreet. I have been permitted to visit any of the prisoners except you. It’s taken all this time for me to work out permission for one last visit.”
One last visit. I felt something hard and heavy sink into my stomach with those words.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I will try to get visitation rightsreinstated. I’ll keep at it, but it may take time before I make any progress. No one has any interest in helping me, and no one has any sympathy for you. The other leaders were all
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