Shattered Soul by Jennifer Snyder Page A

look at me and be able to see the blood flowing beneath my skin
heavily tainted with my various weaknesses…especially her dad.
    I knocked and stood perfectly still, holding my
breath as though it were my very last, wishing I could fast-forward
and press play only when this whole thing was over with and I was
on my way back home.
    The door creaked open and Ali stood in front of me,
her bright blue eyes meeting mine, her blonde hair pulled back into
a tight ponytail. She wore a bubble gum pink t-shirt and a short
denim skirt. I exhaled, relieved at the sight of her, and a crooked
grin stretched across my face. I silently prayed this wouldn’t be
the last time I got to hang out with her.
    “Hey. Come on in,” she insisted with a smile.
    “Thanks.”
    Thrusting my hands into my pockets, I stepped across
the threshold. My mother’s words echoed through my mind mocking me
as I trailed through the white tiled foyer behind Ali. You’re
tainted with your own addiction…she’ll realize sooner or later what
a worthless piece of crap you are...She’ll get sick of you and move
on.
    I clenched my jaw tight, my hands balled into fists
inside my pockets. What if she was right? What if her parents took
one look at me and saw exactly how worthless I actually was…how
long would it take before they convinced her of the same?
    We rounded a corner and stepped into a large living
room. Ali’s mom and dad sat on an over-stuffed couch watching TV.
It muted the second we came to a stop and the fisherman reeling in
the catch of his life grew eerily silent on the screen. My throat
tightened, my heart thudded with so much force inside my chest I
swore it could be heard by everyone’s ears in the silence of the
room.
    “Mom, Dad, this is Seth. Seth, this is my mom and
dad.” Ali introduced us all with a nervous smile.
    I could feel her parents’ eyes on me, sizing me up. I
half expected them both to shout out, leave and stay the hell away
from our clean, uncorrupted daughter! And, I would have, too.
Because the thought of me never being good enough for her had
crossed my mind a million times, and now, it resonated in the
depths, pulsating with every pound of my heart.
    “Hi, nice to meet you,” I said, somehow managing to
push down all my nervous fear, not letting it leak into my
words.
    “Nice to finally meet you, too,” Ali’s mom said with
a smile.
    Seconds seemed to drag on while I waited for her
father to speak. His eyes remained fixated on me, boring into me.
The steady, intimidating eyes of a cop. I thought of all the
impurities floating through my blood, all the things I’d smoked,
snorted, and popped. Was he able to see all of that? From the way
he stared at me and the seriousness of his features, it seemed
possible.
    “So, you’re the boy my daughter has been spending so
much time with, huh?” he asked point blank.
    My throat went dry, and I had to swallow hard to be
able to speak again. “Yes, sir.” Sir? I’d never said sir to anyone
in my life before.
    “Treat her well and respect my curfews…understood?”
he questioned, his eyes cutting through me like knives.
    “Yes, sir. Understood.” I replied clearly, nodding my
head more than necessary. I was nervous as shit under his
penetrating stare. It made me feel two inches tall and more
paranoid than a crack head with a gram in his shoe and a cop blue
lighting him for no apparent reason.
    “Good,” he muttered. He shifted his attention back
towards the TV and with a click of his thumb, restarted my heart as
the overjoyed sounds of extreme delight swam through the room once
more from a redneck fisherman describing his catch.
    Ali’s hand gripped my wrist and I could breathe
again. Introductions were over and by some stroke of good luck, I
was still allowed to date their daughter.
    “Come on,” Ali demanded in a soft tone, tugging
slightly on my arm.
    I followed her gladly back around the corner and
towards the staircase. Ali bounded up the steps with a giddy