Shatnerquake

Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk Page B

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Authors: Jeff Burk
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Fan, Bob?”
     
    Shatner turned his attention back to the fan.   He opened the book and started to write on the title page.  
     
    He could hear Natalie’s hushed voice quickly talking.   She sounded pissed.
     
    “That’s…a little creepy…like Misery,” Shatner said chucking and handing the book back to Bob.
     
    “What?”
     
    “You know…Kathy Bates…the Stephen King movie.”
     
    Bob stared blankly.   “I don’t think I do.”
     
    Natalie was suddenly standing next to Shatner and placed a hand on his shoulder.   “Bill, we got a problem in the theaters that I need to go take care of.   I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”
    Oh my God, she’s going to leave me alone with these people.
     
    “Now don’t worry about anything, we have plenty of security,” she motioned to the guards who had moved to either side of the table.   They stood tall and stoic, facing forward.   They looked like police officers, but their black uniforms bore no insignia.   Their heads were covered with black helmets with black face-shields pulled down.     
     
    Shatner did not feel any more at ease.
     
    “Someone will be along shortly with water and can take an order for anything else you may want.”
     
    Before he had a chance to respond, Natalie was through the door they had come through.
     
    Bob beamed an adoring smile.   “The cosmetic surgery cost a fortune.   The voice-box reshaping alone was sixty-thousand dollars.”
     
    Shatner beamed a smile right back.   “Money well spent.”

 
     
     
     
     
    CHAPTER TWO
     
     
    The convention’s theater was a marvel of modern movie-going.   Four screens, each ten stories high.   Three stories of seating gave each theater a capacity of around two-thousand.   Even though it was early on the first day of the convention, the theaters were already three-quarters of the way full.
     
    Rick was alone in the projection booth, sitting on the floor and smoking a joint.   He listened to the footage being played.   William Shatner was cursing as he blew a contestant’s prize money on “The $20,000 Pyramid.”   It made him proud that they were able to get a hold of the unedited footage.
     
    For the convention, the Cathode-La was holding a four day/twenty-four hours a day William Shatner marathon.   Each of the fours screens was continuously playing movies, shows, and other footage from Shatner’s career.  
     
    Rick was in charge of the projector for the day shifts in theater three.   It was an easy gig, once every hour or so he had to change the film reel.   Outside of that, there was not really anything else to do.   The booth also provided a good smoke-spot in the crowded hotel.
     
    I hope I get to meet him , thought Rick as he took another hit, but I bet he’s a dick in real life.
     
    He coughed out the smoke as a voice came over his walkie-talkie.   “Anyone else seeing a light behind their screen?”   It was Michael from theater one.
     
    Rick stood up and looked out of the booth.   On the screen Shatner was throwing a chair and storming off the set.   At the bottom center a glowing blue light was distorting the image.   It looked as if someone had turned on a blue lamp behind the movie screen.
     
    “I got it too,” said Rick into the walkie-talkie.   Two more voices came over.   Emily and Jacob from theaters two and four also were seeing it.
     
    “Rick, go check it out,” ordered Michael.
     
    Rick sighed.   “OK.”  
     
    He took another drag from the joint and snuffed it out as he left the projection booth.
     
    * * *
     
    Natalie shut the door behind her as she entered the room.   She carefully and calmly bolted the door and pulled out a cigarette.   She lit it and regarded the figure in the center.
     
    A man sat hunched over in a wooden chair.   He wore black jeans and a black “Maniac Cop” t-shirt.   He was missing his right hand, the sure sign of a Campbellian.
     
    The man lifted his head and both his

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