an old part of San Francisco. She had no forwarding address, no utilities in her name, no bank accounts. I found out years later that she was living off the radar in some commune on the border of California and Oregon where the women there keep multiple ‘husbands’.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “For real? What do they call that? Backwards polygamy?”
“Polyandry is the correct term,” Sean supplied dryly, finally looking at me. “And yes, it’s for real.”
I grimaced at his tone, sorry that I had interrupted. “What happened to you then? Did you have any other relatives you could go to?”
Sean shook his head and his thumb stroked mine softly, which made my heart begin to beat faster again. “None that the state felt comfortable placing me with. So…I was sent to a group home. An orphanage, basically, though they don’t like to call them that anymore. It’s not PC, I guess.” There was a trace of bitterness in his voice.
My heart went out to him then. He had had a rough life. Much rougher than mine, I realized. “I guess they aren’t really much in the way of ‘homes’ then,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say.
“They’re pretty bad,” Sean said shortly. “It was worse than living with my dad had ever been. Long story short, I ran away from the home, made some really stupid choices and a few bad friends, and from there started a career in crime. When I was 20 I almost went to federal prison for it.”
Sean’s thumb stopped moving and he asked me plainly, “Does that freak you out?”
I licked my lips “Does it freak me out that you used to be a criminal?”
Sean nodded his head. “Yeah. Does it?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Sean wrinkled his brow like he was confused. “Why not?”
I let out a huff of laughter and shrugged. “I don’t know. Genny and Isaac accept you. They’re good judges of character. You’ve obviously cleaned your life up, and you’ve been nothing but kind to me.”
Sean reached out with his free hand and stroked my cheek. “Isaac and Genny know all this about me, but no one else. I don’t advertise my background because people do judge.”
He traced my cheekbone with his thumb and sighed before taking his hand away. “Anyways, it was a wakeup call – one that I needed badly. The Feds gave me the opportunity to get out, to leave my old life behind, and I took it. I moved to a new city and got my act together. I had dropped out of school when I left the group home, so I got my GED, went to a trade school, where they gave me a slip of paper saying that I was a certified mechanic, and I got a job. That’s been my life ever since. I try to live quietly and well, obey the law and be a contributing member of society. I stay away from all alcohol and drugs; I don’t smoke. Most importantly, I try to be nothing like my parents.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
He smiled thinly at me. “You’re probably wondering why I told you all that when I never tell anyone.”
I nodded. “Not that that I don’t appreciate your candor,” I said.
“I like you,” he said straightforwardly. “I have since the day I first saw you.”
I swallowed. He liked me. My heart skipped a beat.
“I know I’m kind of scary looking,” he continued. “I know I freaked you out.”
I squirmed uncomfortably. “You did,” I couldn’t help but admit.
He reached out and stroked my cheek, my hair. He put his hand behind my neck. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
I shook my head, the only part of my body that would move at that point. “I’m not.”
“I want to kiss you.”
I panicked. “I don’t know,” I said, stiffening up. Nancy’s voice reverberated inside my head: whore, whore, whore.
Sean looked disappointed, but he didn’t push me. His hand left my neck and he unbuckled his seatbelt. “We should get out.”
But I didn’t want him to leave. “I used to wish I’d just get hit too,” I blurted out.
Sean stopped and turned back
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “For real? What do they call that? Backwards polygamy?”
“Polyandry is the correct term,” Sean supplied dryly, finally looking at me. “And yes, it’s for real.”
I grimaced at his tone, sorry that I had interrupted. “What happened to you then? Did you have any other relatives you could go to?”
Sean shook his head and his thumb stroked mine softly, which made my heart begin to beat faster again. “None that the state felt comfortable placing me with. So…I was sent to a group home. An orphanage, basically, though they don’t like to call them that anymore. It’s not PC, I guess.” There was a trace of bitterness in his voice.
My heart went out to him then. He had had a rough life. Much rougher than mine, I realized. “I guess they aren’t really much in the way of ‘homes’ then,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say.
“They’re pretty bad,” Sean said shortly. “It was worse than living with my dad had ever been. Long story short, I ran away from the home, made some really stupid choices and a few bad friends, and from there started a career in crime. When I was 20 I almost went to federal prison for it.”
Sean’s thumb stopped moving and he asked me plainly, “Does that freak you out?”
I licked my lips “Does it freak me out that you used to be a criminal?”
Sean nodded his head. “Yeah. Does it?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Sean wrinkled his brow like he was confused. “Why not?”
I let out a huff of laughter and shrugged. “I don’t know. Genny and Isaac accept you. They’re good judges of character. You’ve obviously cleaned your life up, and you’ve been nothing but kind to me.”
Sean reached out with his free hand and stroked my cheek. “Isaac and Genny know all this about me, but no one else. I don’t advertise my background because people do judge.”
He traced my cheekbone with his thumb and sighed before taking his hand away. “Anyways, it was a wakeup call – one that I needed badly. The Feds gave me the opportunity to get out, to leave my old life behind, and I took it. I moved to a new city and got my act together. I had dropped out of school when I left the group home, so I got my GED, went to a trade school, where they gave me a slip of paper saying that I was a certified mechanic, and I got a job. That’s been my life ever since. I try to live quietly and well, obey the law and be a contributing member of society. I stay away from all alcohol and drugs; I don’t smoke. Most importantly, I try to be nothing like my parents.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
He smiled thinly at me. “You’re probably wondering why I told you all that when I never tell anyone.”
I nodded. “Not that that I don’t appreciate your candor,” I said.
“I like you,” he said straightforwardly. “I have since the day I first saw you.”
I swallowed. He liked me. My heart skipped a beat.
“I know I’m kind of scary looking,” he continued. “I know I freaked you out.”
I squirmed uncomfortably. “You did,” I couldn’t help but admit.
He reached out and stroked my cheek, my hair. He put his hand behind my neck. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
I shook my head, the only part of my body that would move at that point. “I’m not.”
“I want to kiss you.”
I panicked. “I don’t know,” I said, stiffening up. Nancy’s voice reverberated inside my head: whore, whore, whore.
Sean looked disappointed, but he didn’t push me. His hand left my neck and he unbuckled his seatbelt. “We should get out.”
But I didn’t want him to leave. “I used to wish I’d just get hit too,” I blurted out.
Sean stopped and turned back
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