Shadows 02 Girl in the Shadows by V. C. Andrews Page B

breath. Brenda was so quiet, I thought we had lost the connection. "Did you hear me?"
"Yes, but if you had gone to live with Cousin Pete, you could be in a regular school. April. I don't understand how you could simply take up with strangers like that."
"Once you meet Mrs. Westington, you'll understand. This is a big house. It was once a famous thriving vineyard and winery
"I've got another few weeks in Europe and then I'm coming back to live in Seattle," she said over my words, as if they had no importance.
"Seattle?"
"Yes. I was calling to tell you I've been offered a position on a professional basketball team in Seattle and I've taken it. Now that I know you're still there. I'll keep in touch. I'm going to stopover in San Francisco for a few hours. and I don't think you're far from there. right?"
"No. I'm not."
"Then we'll meet and talk about all this then. April. let you know my exact schedule. Afterward. I'll be on the road with the team a treat deal, but you can come to live with me once I'm set up in Seattle."
"Just you?" I asked.
"For now" she replied honestly.
"Well talk when you're in San Francisco," I said,
"Are you really all right?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I'll call you." she promised. "Take care of yourself."
"You, too."
I couldn't help crying softly. Just hearing her voice brought back so much so quickly it took my breath away. Mrs. Westington saw me wiping away the tears.
"Why don't you go up and take a little rest. Take a warm bath and relax. I know that boy overworked you."
"No, he didn't." I said.
She raised her eyebrows at how quickly I had come to Tyler's defense. It embarrassed me. too.
"I mean, he's just trying to get me to make up for all this time lost. I didn't do any schoolwork when I was on the road with my uncle."
"Uh-huh," she said. She tried to hide a smile from me and went to busy herself with dinner preparations. I hurried out and up to my room. My head was swirling with confusion. Yes. I would like to be with Brenda again. I thought. She was my only family, despite what had occurred, but the life she proposed for me sounded so tentative and so lonely, and not so much different from the way it had been in Memphis. Surely it wouldn't be long before she'd find someone, a new companion. and I would be shoved to the back of the bus again. I longed to be independent, despite my age. I didn't want her to be my legal guardian. If someone like Tyler Monahan proposed to me, I'd accept in a heartbeat.
Was that even a remote possibility or was I just as immature as Echo when it came to my fantasies?
I gazed at myself in the mirror. Was I such a lost cause? Couldn't I lose weight, make myself attractive, have a young man seriously consider me, fall in love with me? Wasn't I capable of loving a man? In a true sense, I suppose if I wanted to be honest. I would admit that I wasn't much more sophisticated about it all than Echo was. If Tyler Monahan only knew the truth about me when it came to my experiences with boys. I thought, he'd be quite surprised.
I returned to the closet, where Rhona's pretty and sexy clothing hung like a tantalizing promise, daring me to turn it into a reality. I vowed then and there to get up earlier every morning and jog just as Brenda used to do. I had to develop an attitude. I had to hate the body I was in and swear to myself I would get out of it. Brenda once told me to conjure up a vision of myself as I would like to see myself and whenever I looked into a mirror. I should be unsatisfied until I saw that vision reflected back.
"Focus," she urged, "Become a monomaniac. Think only of that goal and twist and turn everything to service it. Focus, focus, focus," she chanted at me.
I know it annoyed and even disgusted her that I could never do it. I would try to do it for a while and then drift back to my self-destructive ways.
"You're a lost cause," she would tell me. "Don't ask me for anymore help or advice. I don't like wasting my time and energy on someone who really doesn't care about