Shadow Hunter (The Execution Underground) by Kait Ballenger Page B

wouldn’t give anything, wouldn’t give my own life, to bring him back? Nothing I could ever possibly do would be enough to pay for how I failed him. I don’t deserve forgiveness, but you have to know that I will bear the pain and regret of how I hurt him—” he paused and brushed her cheek, wiping her tears away “—of how I hurt you, for the rest of my life.”
    She sucked in a hard breath. “Why?”
    His eyes widened as if he couldn’t comprehend what she was saying.
    “Tell me why you left him there to die, why you didn’t save him.”
    As if unable to face her a moment longer, he turned away from her.
    “Tell me why the valiant, brave, courageous B left his partner for dead. Tell me why the man I thought I knew turned out to be a coward.”
    Damon hung his head, his back still turned toward her. “Because I am not, and never was, any of those things.”
    She marched up to him and forced him to face her. “Don’t evade me. Tell me why, damn it!”
    He shook his head. “You don’t want to know the details, Tiffany. You—”
    She jabbed a finger into his chest. “Don’t tell me what I do and don’t want. You don’t know me.” She pushed at him again. “Tell me.”
    He cursed under his breath. “Because I let my feelings for the job cloud my judgment. I let my hatred for vampires fuel me and went by the book instead of saving my friend.” He ran his fingers through the short stubble of his hair. His jaw clenched as she forced him to remember the moment, remember what he’d done.
    “We’d been planning a raid on the nest for months. They’d killed hundreds, that band. We planned everything out, but it all backfired when one of the new hunters-in-training stepped out too early. The vamps rushed us as soon as they knew we were there. Your brother fought hand to hand with Caius. He was a brave man. Then Caius managed to stab him with his own stake. The bastard left him bleeding and ran. I was in pursuit of Caius’s elder, the head of the nest. I was right on his heels.”
    He put his hand over his mouth as if to hold in the words, then dropped it to his side again. “With all the other vampires battling for their lives against other hunters and Caius gone, I knew none of the bloodsuckers would be hungry enough to go after Mark. His wound didn’t look deep, and I was so caught up in the fight, in the adrenaline and anger of the chase, that I left him. I followed protocol to kill the vampires instead of saving my partner. I was seeing red. All I could see, all I could hear, all I could think about, was all the dead people I needed to avenge.” He let out a long breath. “By the time I finished off the elder and went back for Mark, he was gone. Dead. I tried to save his body, but the vamps had the nest protected with explosives. The building blew up with Mark’s body inside. I barely managed to get out alive.”
    A fresh round of tears streamed down Tiffany’s face.
    “I was the leader of that raid, and instead of saving my wounded partner, I was too obsessed with making the kill and following orders.” Damon’s hands curled into fists. “I will never allow my anger, my emotions to get the better of me during a fight again. Ever. And I swore to myself that I wouldn’t get close to anyone again, wouldn’t make any personal attachments, so I couldn’t fail someone, but I failed at that, too.” He met her gaze.
    “Well, aren’t you the good, obedient soldier.” Tiffany walked toward the door. She needed out. She needed fresh air to breathe. She needed to be away from him. She placed her hand on the knob and turned the handle. “I hope you enjoyed the kill.”
    Without another word, she left the apartment, tears still streaming down her face.
    * * *
    P AIN STABBED THROUGH Damon’s heart as if someone had shoved a knife into it and twisted. If words could kill, the pain and sorrow in Tiffany’s voice would have destroyed him.
    The old feelings of regret rose to their peak. Never had he