Shades of Avalon by Carol Oates Page B

power were exaggerated or invented by Emrys any longer. Word spread I took to a convent, distraught at my loss, and the legend twisted until the two swords became one.”
    “How did you come to be in the park?” Triona asked.
    “I’ve always kept the Council in my sights, but protecting Excalibur meant I couldn’t come forward before. After what happened at Tara, I knew Zeal would never just lie down and disappear. When I heard Triona had returned to London, I came here and was waiting for the right time to approach.”
    “You were following us?” Emma said.
    Guinevere nodded. “So were they. I want to help destroy the last remaining Council member. I’ve been hiding far too long.”
    “We appreciate that,” Triona told her. “But so we’re clear, our first priority is finding my mate.”
    “Of course,” Guinevere agreed.
    Honestly, I was happy for any help—a massive shift from my earlier conviction in my competence to handle the situation myself. This revelation made my heart pound hard. Emotions tangled my thinking. Flashes of memory taunted me—of Tara and earlier with Emma. Both times I had failed to act when it was most important.
    Amanda’s gentle fingers smoothed along my arm and brought me back into the moment. I found myself reaching over to her and tracing the pulsing vein on the side of her neck. She frowned and pressed her hand to mine as if sensing what I needed.
    “I’m here, Ben. I’ll always be here,” she murmured next to my ear. Her soft lips and warm breath caressed my skin.
    I turned, catching her lips in an innocent kiss before she pulled away and smiled. Her heartbeat skipped along. She gazed at me with her large brown eyes full of tenderness and heat, and it was all I could do not to rush her back to our room. Except I needed to make a call first.
    The others seemed to ignore the affectionate display playing out in front of them. Triona and John got to their feet, leaving Emma to flop into Triona’s seat next to Guinevere. Her eyes darted in their direction before she looked away, her expression unreadable.
    “I’ll set up guest rooms,” John said, guiding Triona out with his hand resting casually at her lower back.
    “Come on,” Amanda urged me, pulling on my sleeve to get me to stand.
    “I don’t mean to be intrusive…” Emma started, flicking her head back, “but…Lancelot? Was it true about you and him?”
    I stood as the conversation switched and started out of the room with my arm around Amanda’s shoulder.
    “No, I loved Arthur. Lancelot and I were never together. I became aware of his affection soon after I became queen. Despite his emotional conflict, he never would have acted on it. Lancelot lived by the same code of honor as Arthur. We were friends, nothing more.”
    “Ohh,” Emma muttered, sounding a little disappointed.
    “It’s a difficult burden to carry, having romantic desires for one who loves another.”
    The rest of their conversation became mutterings once Amanda closed the heavy wooden door, and I tuned them out. Amanda made to pull me toward the kitchen, but I hung back, struggling with my near constant yearning to be by her side and my duty to everyone else. I couldn’t put this off. I had to call Samuel.
    “What is it? You look like you’ve been sucking on barbed wire.”
    “I have to speak to Triona about Guinevere. Then I’m going to phone Samuel and Annice. I think we need them here,” I admitted, sheepishly ducking my head.
    “Yeah, we do need them, and it’s about time you saw that.”
    I picked up her hand, tiny in mine. Amanda only appeared delicate on the outside—inside she was brave and determined. My face scrunched up as I thought about appearing weak in her eyes. She saw I couldn’t handle this before I’d accepted the reality for myself. Somewhere along the line, her faith in me had been shaken.
    “Do you think asking for help makes me weak?”
    She placed her hand on my forearm with an emphatic shake of her head.