something they made for the astronauts, very light, very sleek, and edible.”
“God, if I was gay I would eat you with a spoon.”
“Many have tried. Anyway I quit my job, didn’t get fired like you bitches, and now it’s real estate for the young and restless. I can close a deal in minutes in some empty Manhattan suite––on all fours if I have to.”
“Pig! You look relaxed, for once.” Gillian had often thought Randy was the vision of stressed New York beauty––heavy concerned eyes, divided by an aqualine nose, frown lines, and bangs that pestered him.
“I don’t sweat it. I mean how much money can a guy have? Anyway botox is my other little miracle. I’m sure I’ll find you devilishly funny today, but you’ll just never be able to tell, so don’t work too hard at it my dear. Now give us a hug.”
Randy took her up in his arms and immediately commented on the manly smell of the robe. “Edgar here? That’s not his brand.”
Gillian winked at Randy. Oh god you’ve been here for about twelve hours––”
“Eleven.”
“––and you’ve already got scent of man . I knew it would happen sometime soon. Of course I’ve been saying that for twenty years. I could sense it.”
“Are you wearing fur pants? Wow! Val did you know about this? Well, fur does become you.”
“Don’t change the subject–– faux . I have to keep telling people it’s faux . But the funny thing is, it’s not. It’s rabbit I think. Are rabbits an endangered species?”
“Get in here. I have hot coffee, croissants, a view of the park. Relax and let me get ready.”
“It smells pretty, you know, sexual in here. I need to know what went down. I need some details.” Meanwhile Val stared out the window, marvelling at how few people closed their curtains during the day.
“Oh just a little time spent with an old friend.”
“Someone we know?”
“Oh, maybe, remember when I worked at Paddies and––”
“––that’s going back. Not another old guy. I don’t remember.”
“Just a guy named Robert––”
“––the actor––the crippler? You fucking bitch I will never forgive you. That guy had the most amazing dick in the world. I remember him from the gym. Jesus. People ran the other way. You met up with the crippler? How was he? More to the point, how are you? Can you walk?”
“It was great. He’s a doll. He works here sometimes, although he probably wouldn’t want me to say. He’s doing his acting thing and I think he’s doing well, you know, for an actor. I made him do a little Shakespeare––
“Wait a minute.” Val turned from the vast array of lives, most of them not so pretty, presented before her in cut away view. “What about Edgar?”
“Who?”
“You mean to say you’ve been leading us on with this good girl routine until we were thinking it was us with the problem, and all of a sudden, at Christmas no less, you are telling us that you did it with the guy that all of Coney Island knows as the crippler–– plus he’s raking it in booking national commercials. I see him on TV all the time. No wonder he works here, he doesn’t need the cash, he just needs to fill a few female fantasies every night. Now what about Edgar?”
Randy joined in, “The guy is a sex maniac.”
“He was so gentle, and, and spontaneous.”
“A gentle and spontaneous sex maniac.”
“Sex isn’t a bad thing, really. It seems really good. I mean I feel great, although I haven’t really had much, until recently.”
Val tied to stifle a laugh. “And now you’re an advocate for free and fancy sex.”
“Think of all the women he’s helped.”
“Look, let’s drop this. Did Edgar come with you?”
“He’s gone AWOL. Didn’t get on the plane as far as I know, or else he parachuted off. The last I saw of him he was on the fucking plane. Honest.”
“Foot loose and fancy free in Manhattan,” Randy said.
“We’re both jealous in case you couldn’t tell,” Val added. “Now, you
“God, if I was gay I would eat you with a spoon.”
“Many have tried. Anyway I quit my job, didn’t get fired like you bitches, and now it’s real estate for the young and restless. I can close a deal in minutes in some empty Manhattan suite––on all fours if I have to.”
“Pig! You look relaxed, for once.” Gillian had often thought Randy was the vision of stressed New York beauty––heavy concerned eyes, divided by an aqualine nose, frown lines, and bangs that pestered him.
“I don’t sweat it. I mean how much money can a guy have? Anyway botox is my other little miracle. I’m sure I’ll find you devilishly funny today, but you’ll just never be able to tell, so don’t work too hard at it my dear. Now give us a hug.”
Randy took her up in his arms and immediately commented on the manly smell of the robe. “Edgar here? That’s not his brand.”
Gillian winked at Randy. Oh god you’ve been here for about twelve hours––”
“Eleven.”
“––and you’ve already got scent of man . I knew it would happen sometime soon. Of course I’ve been saying that for twenty years. I could sense it.”
“Are you wearing fur pants? Wow! Val did you know about this? Well, fur does become you.”
“Don’t change the subject–– faux . I have to keep telling people it’s faux . But the funny thing is, it’s not. It’s rabbit I think. Are rabbits an endangered species?”
“Get in here. I have hot coffee, croissants, a view of the park. Relax and let me get ready.”
“It smells pretty, you know, sexual in here. I need to know what went down. I need some details.” Meanwhile Val stared out the window, marvelling at how few people closed their curtains during the day.
“Oh just a little time spent with an old friend.”
“Someone we know?”
“Oh, maybe, remember when I worked at Paddies and––”
“––that’s going back. Not another old guy. I don’t remember.”
“Just a guy named Robert––”
“––the actor––the crippler? You fucking bitch I will never forgive you. That guy had the most amazing dick in the world. I remember him from the gym. Jesus. People ran the other way. You met up with the crippler? How was he? More to the point, how are you? Can you walk?”
“It was great. He’s a doll. He works here sometimes, although he probably wouldn’t want me to say. He’s doing his acting thing and I think he’s doing well, you know, for an actor. I made him do a little Shakespeare––
“Wait a minute.” Val turned from the vast array of lives, most of them not so pretty, presented before her in cut away view. “What about Edgar?”
“Who?”
“You mean to say you’ve been leading us on with this good girl routine until we were thinking it was us with the problem, and all of a sudden, at Christmas no less, you are telling us that you did it with the guy that all of Coney Island knows as the crippler–– plus he’s raking it in booking national commercials. I see him on TV all the time. No wonder he works here, he doesn’t need the cash, he just needs to fill a few female fantasies every night. Now what about Edgar?”
Randy joined in, “The guy is a sex maniac.”
“He was so gentle, and, and spontaneous.”
“A gentle and spontaneous sex maniac.”
“Sex isn’t a bad thing, really. It seems really good. I mean I feel great, although I haven’t really had much, until recently.”
Val tied to stifle a laugh. “And now you’re an advocate for free and fancy sex.”
“Think of all the women he’s helped.”
“Look, let’s drop this. Did Edgar come with you?”
“He’s gone AWOL. Didn’t get on the plane as far as I know, or else he parachuted off. The last I saw of him he was on the fucking plane. Honest.”
“Foot loose and fancy free in Manhattan,” Randy said.
“We’re both jealous in case you couldn’t tell,” Val added. “Now, you
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