Settling the Account by Shayne Parkinson Page B

announced that anyone was welcome to attend
meetings of the Society, explicitly including brewers, particularly
those who considered they had a superior command of grammar, in his
invitation. Reverend Simons also informed his congregation that one
of the Tauranga newspapers was now running a regular column they
might find ‘Somewhat more edifying than the local journalistic
fare’. When Amy managed to sneak a glance at the newspaper in
question on her next visit to the store, she soon found the column
under the pseudonym ‘Pericles’. The style of the prose told her
that the author was none other than Reverend Simons.
    From then on, she read the column whenever
she had the chance, which was only if the newspaper happened to be
lying around when she visited Lizzie or one of her sisters-in-law.
She enjoyed reading ‘Pericles’ ’ opinions on social issues such as
the low wages paid to women, the evils of secular education, and of
course the ever-present matter of alcohol and the violence and
misery it led to. The column was certainly a good deal more
entertaining than the ‘Ladies’ Page’ of the Weekly News ,
which was the only reading matter Charlie ever shoved in her
direction.
    While Mr Bateson did not take up Reverend
Simons’ invitation to attend any temperance meetings, he continued
to take an avid editorial interest in the goings on of the Society
and its members. When the opportunity came for him to expose a
small scandal, he pounced on it.
    The front page of the next issue of the Ruatane Herald carried an article about a crop of barley
grown in Ruatane that season. The barley was of such good quality
that it had fetched an excellent price from a large brewing company
in Auckland, and according to the editor other local farmers might
well be inspired to grow similar crops.
    What made this news of particular interest
to Mr Bateson was the fact that the farmer concerned was the Vice
Chairman of Reverend Simons’ beloved Temperance Society. Mr Bateson
made much of the word ‘Vice’ in the guilty party’s title. His
article affected shock and outrage that a man who was obviously
considered a pillar of the community should be producing a crop to
supply an industry so vilified by that very Society in which he
held office.
    Reverend Simons was hard put to defend his
deputy against a charge so demonstrably true. In his capacity as
‘Pericles’ he railed against the aspersions being cast on the man’s
character, but at the same time he admitted that selling a crop to
the brewers could be seen as incompatible with holding office in a
Temperance Society. And his next sermon told the local farmers in
no uncertain terms that if any of them were tempted to grow barley
for brewing, they should examine their consciences carefully.
    ‘For do not forget,’ Reverend Simons
thundered from the pulpit, ‘the day will come when we will all be
judged. And on that day, how will you be able to face your Maker
and confess that you grew a crop that drags women into the most
hideous form of degradation, turns men into beasts who fight one
another and desert their families, that is the root of so much that
all men know is evil? Better that the crop be cast into the fire
than the grower’s soul be damned for eternity.’ There was no barley
grown in Ruatane the following season.
    Reverend Simons did not save his admonitions
for the grown men. He was particularly earnest towards those youths
of the town who were dragged along to church by their parents,
exhorting them to resist the blandishments of evil companions who
would draw them from the paths of righteousness and into dishonour.
There tended to be a good deal of noisy foot scuffing from his
intended audience when the minister made such remarks, more from
suppressed resentment than from any sense of remorse.
    Malcolm’s animosity towards the minister was
based as much on the length of Reverence Simons’ sermons as on
their subject matter. He squirmed and scowled all