looked
oo radiant. She had always
been smart and had kept her figure in good shape, despite having had two
children close together, but now there was a snap in her walk and she carried
herself with a confident air, her head high, and she looked young and happy.
They sat down at a table in a small French
restaurant behind Oxford Street and Cassie looked at Julia in surprise and
perturbation. They gave their order and then Julia looked across at her and
flushed.
'I suppose I don't have to tell you. You've
already guessed, I can see it in your face.'
Cassie nodded, unable to speak, then burst
out, `Julia, how could you?'
Julia's flush deepened and she looked down at
the table, then shrugged defensively. 'It just happened.'
`Oh, rubbish!' Cassie returned, angry now.
`Don't try and fool me, Julia, things like that don't just happen. There has to
be a moment when you either commit yourself or draw back. You've gone into this
with your eyes open and it's no use pretending otherwise, even to yourself.'
`Well, all right. But I don't know what
you're getting so upset about,' Julia retorted, the flush on her face giving
way to anger.
`Because I like John, of course. I like you
both. For heaven's sake, Julia, you're my friends!'
For a moment they fell into an awkward
silence, prolonged as the waiter brought their first course. They ate without
speaking, neither of them knowing quite what to say, until Cassie said
impulsively, `I just don't understand how you could do this to John. I thought
you loved him.'
`But I do love him.'
`Then why, Julia? What has he done to make
you cheat on him with another man?'
Julia's reply was heavy with cynicism.
`Nothing that's the whole point.'
Cassie shook her head. `I'm sorry, I don't
understand.'
Julia pushed her plate away and leant
forward. `Cassie, John and I have been married for over ten years. I loved him
when we married and I still do, but he's changed. All he seems to think about
now is the office and golf. Oh, he loves the kids, of course he does, and he
gives them time during the school holidays in fact he has more time for them
than he does me,' she added bitterly. `And he never seems to want to go out
socially any more, unless it's to a golf club function.' She paused for a
moment, her hands gripping each other on the table. 'We still make love, if you
can call a quick five minutes once or twice a week making love. But I don't get
anything out of it. As a matter of fact I never have; John was never very good
at it. But that didn't used to matter, because I loved him and because he was
attentive and caring in other watts. But now he isn't, and there's only so much
pretending one can do, so much indifference one can take…'
She broke off, her voice unsteady, while
Cassie looked at her in horror. Impulsively she put out a hand to cover her
friend's. 'Oh, Julia, I'm sorry. I didn't know, I had no idea. You always
seemed so happy together.'
Julia sat up and shrugged. `I suppose we are,
really, as far as most marriages go. John's quite happy, at any rate. But for a
long time I've felt that I'm missing out on life. That I'm only thirty-one
years old but that I've already settled into the pattern that I'll be in for
the rest of my life. That was until I met…'
She hesitated and Cassie said swiftly, 'I
don't want to know who it is. Please don't tell me, Julia.'
'No,' her friend answered slowly, `maybe it's
better if you don't know. Anyway, when I met him my life changed completely. I
felt young and attractive again. Can you guess what it's like, Cassie, to find
yourself wanted again, to have a man find you so desirable that he's crazy to
go to bed with you?'
'But surely other men have found you
attractive, too? I've seen you flirt at parties before and…'
'Oh, harmless suburban party flirtations-just
a couple of kisses and a quick grope when you've both had enough drinks not to care
what you're doing. That's almost de rigueur,' Julia declared scathingly.
oo radiant. She had always
been smart and had kept her figure in good shape, despite having had two
children close together, but now there was a snap in her walk and she carried
herself with a confident air, her head high, and she looked young and happy.
They sat down at a table in a small French
restaurant behind Oxford Street and Cassie looked at Julia in surprise and
perturbation. They gave their order and then Julia looked across at her and
flushed.
'I suppose I don't have to tell you. You've
already guessed, I can see it in your face.'
Cassie nodded, unable to speak, then burst
out, `Julia, how could you?'
Julia's flush deepened and she looked down at
the table, then shrugged defensively. 'It just happened.'
`Oh, rubbish!' Cassie returned, angry now.
`Don't try and fool me, Julia, things like that don't just happen. There has to
be a moment when you either commit yourself or draw back. You've gone into this
with your eyes open and it's no use pretending otherwise, even to yourself.'
`Well, all right. But I don't know what
you're getting so upset about,' Julia retorted, the flush on her face giving
way to anger.
`Because I like John, of course. I like you
both. For heaven's sake, Julia, you're my friends!'
For a moment they fell into an awkward
silence, prolonged as the waiter brought their first course. They ate without
speaking, neither of them knowing quite what to say, until Cassie said
impulsively, `I just don't understand how you could do this to John. I thought
you loved him.'
`But I do love him.'
`Then why, Julia? What has he done to make
you cheat on him with another man?'
Julia's reply was heavy with cynicism.
`Nothing that's the whole point.'
Cassie shook her head. `I'm sorry, I don't
understand.'
Julia pushed her plate away and leant
forward. `Cassie, John and I have been married for over ten years. I loved him
when we married and I still do, but he's changed. All he seems to think about
now is the office and golf. Oh, he loves the kids, of course he does, and he
gives them time during the school holidays in fact he has more time for them
than he does me,' she added bitterly. `And he never seems to want to go out
socially any more, unless it's to a golf club function.' She paused for a
moment, her hands gripping each other on the table. 'We still make love, if you
can call a quick five minutes once or twice a week making love. But I don't get
anything out of it. As a matter of fact I never have; John was never very good
at it. But that didn't used to matter, because I loved him and because he was
attentive and caring in other watts. But now he isn't, and there's only so much
pretending one can do, so much indifference one can take…'
She broke off, her voice unsteady, while
Cassie looked at her in horror. Impulsively she put out a hand to cover her
friend's. 'Oh, Julia, I'm sorry. I didn't know, I had no idea. You always
seemed so happy together.'
Julia sat up and shrugged. `I suppose we are,
really, as far as most marriages go. John's quite happy, at any rate. But for a
long time I've felt that I'm missing out on life. That I'm only thirty-one
years old but that I've already settled into the pattern that I'll be in for
the rest of my life. That was until I met…'
She hesitated and Cassie said swiftly, 'I
don't want to know who it is. Please don't tell me, Julia.'
'No,' her friend answered slowly, `maybe it's
better if you don't know. Anyway, when I met him my life changed completely. I
felt young and attractive again. Can you guess what it's like, Cassie, to find
yourself wanted again, to have a man find you so desirable that he's crazy to
go to bed with you?'
'But surely other men have found you
attractive, too? I've seen you flirt at parties before and…'
'Oh, harmless suburban party flirtations-just
a couple of kisses and a quick grope when you've both had enough drinks not to care
what you're doing. That's almost de rigueur,' Julia declared scathingly.
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