Selfish is the Heart by Megan Hart Page A

her covers. “I speak of a different sort of pleasure. The sort that nobody has yet spoken of to me, yet I know must exist within service to a patron.”
    “Oh.” Tansy cleared her throat, then giggled. “You mean the pleasure between a man and a woman?”
    “Between two people, yes.” Annalise thought of Jacquin and his penchant for the company of his own gender. “Handmaidens are always female, but they’re not always assigned to men.”
    Tansy drew in a sharp breath. “We are assigned to patrons to whom we would be best suited.”
    Amused, Annalise turned her head on the pillow to look at the dim shape across the room. “And for you that would always be a male?”
    “Well, yes,” Tansy replied hesitantly. “I do believe so. I’m fair certain the Mothers wouldn’t give me to a woman who expected . . . that.”
    “Lovemaking?” Annalise asked, just to make her roommate blush, even if she couldn’t see the pinking cheeks.
    “Oh, Annalise!”
    “What? Surely you know there are those who do so prefer the company of their own sex. And though nobody’s said as much to me since my arrival, I also know it’s a Handmaiden’s duty to provide solace to her patron in any way necessary, and I know that often includes . . . intimacies. Everyone knows that.”
    “And many believe that’s all a Handmaiden does,” Tansy retorted.
    Annalise herself had heard the tales and was therefore much astonished at how long she’d been in the Order without anyone instructing her on the etiquette of orgies. She laughed at the sound of Tansy’s outrage. “And yet I daresay to those who matter, those who have actually sought the company of a Handmaiden, such stories are of no import. Anyone who is granted the service of a Handmaiden has been well-instructed in her function, yes?”
    It had been one of the first things they’d discussed, the lengthy process by which patrons were assigned their Handmaidens. Mother Complacence had spent the better part of two chimes with the group of young women gathered in her classroom, Annalise the newest among them, but the others there no more than a week ahead of her. Mother Complacence had shown them the files every patron was required to complete, including full medical, financial, and personal histories. Thick binders of information that would take hours, if not days, to complete.
    And yet nothing comparable was kept for the Sisters-in-Service, nothing concrete that could be used to match them to a patron.
    “How do they do it?” Annalise asked again, more for her own musings than from hope of getting an answer from Tansy. “How do they know how best to match them?”
    “Perhaps when I am a Mother-in-Service, I might tell you.” Tansy sounded a little breathless, though still not sleepy.
    Annalise yawned. “Seek you that honor?”
    “The Mothers are well-loved and well-respected. Why wouldn’t anyone wish to become one?”
    “Mothers-in-Service no longer serve patrons, that’s all. I’d imagine you’d wish to perform the function for which you so long trained. Especially when it does seem to take such a long time. Longer than I’d expected.” Not that she minded. The longer it took for her to be considered patron-ready, the better, in Annalise’s opinion, as she had never intended to actually enter service.
    “I hadn’t thought of that. Why are you so wise, Annalise, when I am not half so bright and yet have been here for so much longer?” Tansy sounded sad.
    “You said yourself, they know best. I’m sure your time is coming, Tansy. You’ve accomplished much, have you not?”
    “Oh, yes. Of course. But I’ve not yet been taken for my final testing before being granted the title of Sister. I fear . . . I sometimes think . . .”
    Annalise waited, but Tansy had shut up tight, and sometimes it was better not to pry. If Annalise pressed her, Tansy might confide her deepest griefs, and then Annalise would be expected to do the same. Or at the least, comfort the other