Recoiling back, her hands clutched her stomach. “I do not feel well.”
Arthur took her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom they had shared many nights. She had no protest in her when he laid her down on the bed and began to undress her himself until Sadie appeared. In the distance, she heard him command Mrs. Cummings to fetch the doctor.
The icy cold that encompassed her thawed. A dry nightdress, the warmth of the fire , and a bowl of broth revived her sufficiently before the doctor made his entrance.
Afterwards, she watched from the corner of her eyes while Arthur conversed with the doctor. She pulled the covers higher. She had no desire for the row that was about to commence.
Her hand rested upon her growing stomach. She had to think of the child. In a few months, she would be responsible for another’s life. Her anger subsided with the thought. She had to be strong.
She blinked back her tears. How could she have allowed herself to succumb to Arthur so blindly? Love , she told herself quickly. She loved him.
Harriet watched the doctor leave, with Sadie following behind the doctor to show him out. She was alone once more with Arthur and her heart ached. She felt his eyes upon her as he walked soundly across the room to her side.
He sat down alongside of her and tenderly caressed her cheek. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms and accept his protection … his love, but it was not hers to accept. She had to remind herself he was not hers, no matter his words. He had a family… a wife and soon a child.
She turned her face away and pushed his hand away.
“I know you are upset, Harriet, with good reason, but we will work all of this out between us. We will handle everything as long as we are together. I do not want you upset, not with a child coming. You should have told me you suspected.”
Harriet stared at him and sat up. “And what would you have done? What do you plan to do now?”
“It changes nothing, except know I will love the babe also as I love you.”
Slowly, she shook her head. Her rambling thoughts cleared. “You understand nothing, Arthur. You need to leave. You are right. I don’t know what I will do, but I know it will not be here.”
“You need to rest. Then we will talk again. Think of the child … our child.”
“I am,” she said with conviction. “You will not change my mind. I have listened to you. I have listened to your proclamation of love, but I have yet to hear you ask for forgiveness. You say you love me. Yet you gave me no choice with the life that you have condemned me to.
“You do not know what love is. You know only your own wants and needs. You… you took what we had and destroyed it. You made it torrid and scandalous. If it was only myself… I might find it to forgive you, but it’s not.” She cleared her voice and composed herself, ignoring the searing pain scorching her heart. “My child… my child will be born a bastard… a bastard, Arthur. That I can’t forgive.”
She turned her back to him in silence. She composed herself long enough to hear him walk out the room and shut the door. Then she wept herself to sleep.
Chapter Six
Arthur sat in the dark. His head pounded. Oh, God, he had lost her! The only one… only thing that mattered to him… was gone. She would never forgive him. He saw it in her eyes. How did everything go to hell?
Before he left for the war, everything seemed so clear. Now, everything crumbled around him. What … what had he done that was so wrong? He had been tricked… tricked into marrying Sophia. He never wanted Sophia… he married her only to please his grandfather.
No … that was not the whole truth. He had lashed out his hurt against Harriet. His pride retaliated for the pain her betrayal created, except… except she hadn’t betrayed him. He had her…
He had been a fool. Her words gnawed at his soul and echoed in his heart. The truth rained down upon him. She was right. It
Arthur took her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom they had shared many nights. She had no protest in her when he laid her down on the bed and began to undress her himself until Sadie appeared. In the distance, she heard him command Mrs. Cummings to fetch the doctor.
The icy cold that encompassed her thawed. A dry nightdress, the warmth of the fire , and a bowl of broth revived her sufficiently before the doctor made his entrance.
Afterwards, she watched from the corner of her eyes while Arthur conversed with the doctor. She pulled the covers higher. She had no desire for the row that was about to commence.
Her hand rested upon her growing stomach. She had to think of the child. In a few months, she would be responsible for another’s life. Her anger subsided with the thought. She had to be strong.
She blinked back her tears. How could she have allowed herself to succumb to Arthur so blindly? Love , she told herself quickly. She loved him.
Harriet watched the doctor leave, with Sadie following behind the doctor to show him out. She was alone once more with Arthur and her heart ached. She felt his eyes upon her as he walked soundly across the room to her side.
He sat down alongside of her and tenderly caressed her cheek. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms and accept his protection … his love, but it was not hers to accept. She had to remind herself he was not hers, no matter his words. He had a family… a wife and soon a child.
She turned her face away and pushed his hand away.
“I know you are upset, Harriet, with good reason, but we will work all of this out between us. We will handle everything as long as we are together. I do not want you upset, not with a child coming. You should have told me you suspected.”
Harriet stared at him and sat up. “And what would you have done? What do you plan to do now?”
“It changes nothing, except know I will love the babe also as I love you.”
Slowly, she shook her head. Her rambling thoughts cleared. “You understand nothing, Arthur. You need to leave. You are right. I don’t know what I will do, but I know it will not be here.”
“You need to rest. Then we will talk again. Think of the child … our child.”
“I am,” she said with conviction. “You will not change my mind. I have listened to you. I have listened to your proclamation of love, but I have yet to hear you ask for forgiveness. You say you love me. Yet you gave me no choice with the life that you have condemned me to.
“You do not know what love is. You know only your own wants and needs. You… you took what we had and destroyed it. You made it torrid and scandalous. If it was only myself… I might find it to forgive you, but it’s not.” She cleared her voice and composed herself, ignoring the searing pain scorching her heart. “My child… my child will be born a bastard… a bastard, Arthur. That I can’t forgive.”
She turned her back to him in silence. She composed herself long enough to hear him walk out the room and shut the door. Then she wept herself to sleep.
Chapter Six
Arthur sat in the dark. His head pounded. Oh, God, he had lost her! The only one… only thing that mattered to him… was gone. She would never forgive him. He saw it in her eyes. How did everything go to hell?
Before he left for the war, everything seemed so clear. Now, everything crumbled around him. What … what had he done that was so wrong? He had been tricked… tricked into marrying Sophia. He never wanted Sophia… he married her only to please his grandfather.
No … that was not the whole truth. He had lashed out his hurt against Harriet. His pride retaliated for the pain her betrayal created, except… except she hadn’t betrayed him. He had her…
He had been a fool. Her words gnawed at his soul and echoed in his heart. The truth rained down upon him. She was right. It
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