think like that.’
‘But you do think like that,’ Ethan admitted. ‘Because even I was thinking that if Phil had lasted for just a few more days...’
‘There are a lot of people waiting for hearts.’ Penny said, practical with the facts. ‘And a lot of hearts are wasted. How’s Justin dealing with it all?’
‘I don’t know,’ Ethan admitted, and saw the rise of her eyebrows. ‘It’s all a bit of a mess. Gina wants nothing to do with Phil’s side of the family and I can’t say I blame her. She wasn’t exactly treated well by my uncle and aunt.’ He gave a tired shrug. ‘Anyway, there’s nothing I can do.’ He went to ask how she was doing, but changed his mind—he really didn’t want a conversation about egg retrieval and a five-day wait before embryo transfer. ‘I’d better get back out there.’
‘Sure,’ Penny said, but there was an impossible tension between them.
And so they muddled through and it was a bit easier to be aloof than he’d thought it might be, because he was a bit fed up too, not just with Penny but with himself. He didn’t particularly like the superficial Ethan who, a couple of weeks later, had this guilty image of Penny’s test results being negative and asking her for a night out in the city to cheer her up and then taking her back to his apartment to make love, not babies.
And, yes, he was glad it was a long weekend coming up and that in one hour from now he’d be out of there.
Hopefully without seeing Penny, because she was about to start a stint of nights and was off today.
Then, just when he thought he’d got through it, in Penny walked. She had Jasmine’s toddler son with her—must be picking him up from crèche to help Jasmine out. He saw Jasmine give her a brief, excited hug, saw Penny warn her to hush, and even without that, Ethan knew that she was pregnant, he just knew from the timing, because he’d been back on the IVF site again.
And, no, there was no avoiding her and no avoiding the fact he was crazy about a woman who was pregnant, and not with his child.
‘Hi, there.’ Jasmine had taken Simon to the vending machine and he came over when she caught his eye. ‘Ready for nights?’ he asked.
‘As I’ll ever be.’
‘So?’ he asked, because even if he didn’t want to know, he knew. ‘How are you?’
‘Good,’ Penny said, and her back teeth clamped down because she wanted to tell him her news but it was far too early. But more than that she wanted to flirt, she wanted him and he was just out of bounds. She wanted dates and dinners and laughter and fun, yet she badly wanted the baby inside her too. ‘What are you doing for the long weekend? Anything nice?’
‘Yep.’ Ethan nodded. It had been a long day and now, with the unspoken news hanging between them, more than ever he just wanted to get away. ‘I’ve got the long weekend and then two days off, I’m not back here till Thursday. I’m going out on a boat and hopefully we’ll all be eating too much, drinking too much and talking too much.’
‘With friends?’ She thought her face would crack from smiling.
‘Family,’ Ethan said. ‘We do it every year.’
‘Sounds great,’ Penny said. ‘Kate will have her hands full.’ Penny could imagine nothing worse than being at sea with toddlers—she’d have a nervous breakdown.
‘God, no.’ Ethan pulled a face. ‘Once a year my mum has them all for her so she can get away. Kate says it keeps her sane. It would never happen otherwise.’
‘I don’t blame her,’ Penny said. ‘She’d be worried sick trying to keep tabs on them on a boat.’
‘I meant I wouldn’t be going if she brought them.’ He hesitated, tried to turn it into a joke and then stopped, but he’d said it all, really—he was Mr R&R, heading off, kicking back and just so removed from the world she was about to join.
‘It sounds lovely,’ Penny said, because a few nights out at sea with Ethan, well, there was not a lot she could think of that
‘But you do think like that,’ Ethan admitted. ‘Because even I was thinking that if Phil had lasted for just a few more days...’
‘There are a lot of people waiting for hearts.’ Penny said, practical with the facts. ‘And a lot of hearts are wasted. How’s Justin dealing with it all?’
‘I don’t know,’ Ethan admitted, and saw the rise of her eyebrows. ‘It’s all a bit of a mess. Gina wants nothing to do with Phil’s side of the family and I can’t say I blame her. She wasn’t exactly treated well by my uncle and aunt.’ He gave a tired shrug. ‘Anyway, there’s nothing I can do.’ He went to ask how she was doing, but changed his mind—he really didn’t want a conversation about egg retrieval and a five-day wait before embryo transfer. ‘I’d better get back out there.’
‘Sure,’ Penny said, but there was an impossible tension between them.
And so they muddled through and it was a bit easier to be aloof than he’d thought it might be, because he was a bit fed up too, not just with Penny but with himself. He didn’t particularly like the superficial Ethan who, a couple of weeks later, had this guilty image of Penny’s test results being negative and asking her for a night out in the city to cheer her up and then taking her back to his apartment to make love, not babies.
And, yes, he was glad it was a long weekend coming up and that in one hour from now he’d be out of there.
Hopefully without seeing Penny, because she was about to start a stint of nights and was off today.
Then, just when he thought he’d got through it, in Penny walked. She had Jasmine’s toddler son with her—must be picking him up from crèche to help Jasmine out. He saw Jasmine give her a brief, excited hug, saw Penny warn her to hush, and even without that, Ethan knew that she was pregnant, he just knew from the timing, because he’d been back on the IVF site again.
And, no, there was no avoiding her and no avoiding the fact he was crazy about a woman who was pregnant, and not with his child.
‘Hi, there.’ Jasmine had taken Simon to the vending machine and he came over when she caught his eye. ‘Ready for nights?’ he asked.
‘As I’ll ever be.’
‘So?’ he asked, because even if he didn’t want to know, he knew. ‘How are you?’
‘Good,’ Penny said, and her back teeth clamped down because she wanted to tell him her news but it was far too early. But more than that she wanted to flirt, she wanted him and he was just out of bounds. She wanted dates and dinners and laughter and fun, yet she badly wanted the baby inside her too. ‘What are you doing for the long weekend? Anything nice?’
‘Yep.’ Ethan nodded. It had been a long day and now, with the unspoken news hanging between them, more than ever he just wanted to get away. ‘I’ve got the long weekend and then two days off, I’m not back here till Thursday. I’m going out on a boat and hopefully we’ll all be eating too much, drinking too much and talking too much.’
‘With friends?’ She thought her face would crack from smiling.
‘Family,’ Ethan said. ‘We do it every year.’
‘Sounds great,’ Penny said. ‘Kate will have her hands full.’ Penny could imagine nothing worse than being at sea with toddlers—she’d have a nervous breakdown.
‘God, no.’ Ethan pulled a face. ‘Once a year my mum has them all for her so she can get away. Kate says it keeps her sane. It would never happen otherwise.’
‘I don’t blame her,’ Penny said. ‘She’d be worried sick trying to keep tabs on them on a boat.’
‘I meant I wouldn’t be going if she brought them.’ He hesitated, tried to turn it into a joke and then stopped, but he’d said it all, really—he was Mr R&R, heading off, kicking back and just so removed from the world she was about to join.
‘It sounds lovely,’ Penny said, because a few nights out at sea with Ethan, well, there was not a lot she could think of that
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