it
around me.
The door opened and Kerry came in. She
looked at Brendan and then she looked at me. Her face sharpened with
disapproval.
'What's going on?' she asked.
'Miranda didn't lock the door,' Brendan
said. 'I didn't know she was in here so I barged in.'
'Oh,' said Kerry, 'I see.' She stared at
me and I felt a flush rising up my face. I pulled the towel tighter around me.
'There isn't a lock,' I said, but she
didn't seem to take any notice.
'Supper will be ready soon,' she said
after a pause. 'Brendan? Can I have a word with you?'
'Ooops,' said Brendan, and gave a wink in
my direction. 'Trouble from the missus, eh?'
As I got dressed I told myself that this
wouldn't go on for long. I just had to get through it, then I could get on with
my life.
Kerry had done all the cooking and Kerry
isn't really someone who has ever bothered about food. She had made macaroni
cheese with peas and bits of mince added. It was stodgy and too salty. Brendan
opened a bottle of red wine with a flourish. Kerry loaded much too much on to
my plate. Brendan poured too much wine into my glass. Maybe getting drunk was a
good idea. Brendan lifted his glass.
'To the cook,' he said.
'To the cook,' I said, and took a very
small sip.
'And to you,' said Kerry, looking at me.
'Our host.'
They both clinked their glasses on mine.
'It's a pleasure,' I said because they
seemed to expect me to say something.
'That's good, in the circumstances,' said
Brendan.
'What do you mean?'
'There's something we've got to ask you,'
said Kerry.
'What?'
'Well, our flat has fallen through.'
Suddenly my face felt like a mask made out
of hardened clay.
'What happened? You were about to
exchange, for God's sake. You said it would be a matter of days before you
could move in.'
'They were pissing us around,' said
Brendan.
'In what way?'
'You don't want to hear the details,' he
said.
'I do.'
'The main point is that we walked away.'
'You walked away,' said Kerry with sudden
sharpness.
'Whatever.' He waved his hand in the air
as though that were a trifle. 'I'm afraid that we'll have to trespass on your
hospitality for a little more.'
'Why did you walk away?' I persisted.
'Lots of things,' said Brendan.
'Miranda? Is that all right?' said Kerry.
'We feel terrible. We're desperately looking for somewhere else to move to in
the meantime.'
'Don't worry about it,' I said drearily.
I didn't say much for the rest of the
meal. The food had started to taste like wallpaper paste and it took all my
concentration to eat it without vomiting. Kerry made me have a second helping.
She had bought a frozen lemon meringue pie for pudding, and I ate half of a
small slice and then said I had a headache and I had to go to bed. Was that all
right?
When I got to my room I threw the window
open and took several deep breaths as if the air in my room were contaminated.
I had the most terrible night. I was awake for what seemed like hours making
feverish, deranged plans for the future. I could get married to Nick. At around
three in the morning, I seriously considered emigrating and started to rank
countries according to how far they were from North London. New Zealand seemed
especially tempting. This dissolved into a dream in which I was going away and
had to catch a train. I had so much to pack that I was never able to escape
from my room. Then I was staring into the darkness of my room and wondering if
something had woken me up and then I cried out. I couldn't stop myself. I had
made out a shape in the semi-darkness and befuddled as I was I could recognize
Brendan looking down at me. I fumbled for the light and switched it on.
'What the fuck?' I said.
'Ssshh,' he said.
'Don't "sshh" me,' I hissed,
shocked and angry. 'What are you doing?'
'I, er... I was looking for something to
read.'
'Get the hell out...'
He sat down on the bed and actually put
his hand over my mouth. He leaned down and spoke to me in a whisper.
'Please don't shout,' he said. 'You might
wake
around me.
The door opened and Kerry came in. She
looked at Brendan and then she looked at me. Her face sharpened with
disapproval.
'What's going on?' she asked.
'Miranda didn't lock the door,' Brendan
said. 'I didn't know she was in here so I barged in.'
'Oh,' said Kerry, 'I see.' She stared at
me and I felt a flush rising up my face. I pulled the towel tighter around me.
'There isn't a lock,' I said, but she
didn't seem to take any notice.
'Supper will be ready soon,' she said
after a pause. 'Brendan? Can I have a word with you?'
'Ooops,' said Brendan, and gave a wink in
my direction. 'Trouble from the missus, eh?'
As I got dressed I told myself that this
wouldn't go on for long. I just had to get through it, then I could get on with
my life.
Kerry had done all the cooking and Kerry
isn't really someone who has ever bothered about food. She had made macaroni
cheese with peas and bits of mince added. It was stodgy and too salty. Brendan
opened a bottle of red wine with a flourish. Kerry loaded much too much on to
my plate. Brendan poured too much wine into my glass. Maybe getting drunk was a
good idea. Brendan lifted his glass.
'To the cook,' he said.
'To the cook,' I said, and took a very
small sip.
'And to you,' said Kerry, looking at me.
'Our host.'
They both clinked their glasses on mine.
'It's a pleasure,' I said because they
seemed to expect me to say something.
'That's good, in the circumstances,' said
Brendan.
'What do you mean?'
'There's something we've got to ask you,'
said Kerry.
'What?'
'Well, our flat has fallen through.'
Suddenly my face felt like a mask made out
of hardened clay.
'What happened? You were about to
exchange, for God's sake. You said it would be a matter of days before you
could move in.'
'They were pissing us around,' said
Brendan.
'In what way?'
'You don't want to hear the details,' he
said.
'I do.'
'The main point is that we walked away.'
'You walked away,' said Kerry with sudden
sharpness.
'Whatever.' He waved his hand in the air
as though that were a trifle. 'I'm afraid that we'll have to trespass on your
hospitality for a little more.'
'Why did you walk away?' I persisted.
'Lots of things,' said Brendan.
'Miranda? Is that all right?' said Kerry.
'We feel terrible. We're desperately looking for somewhere else to move to in
the meantime.'
'Don't worry about it,' I said drearily.
I didn't say much for the rest of the
meal. The food had started to taste like wallpaper paste and it took all my
concentration to eat it without vomiting. Kerry made me have a second helping.
She had bought a frozen lemon meringue pie for pudding, and I ate half of a
small slice and then said I had a headache and I had to go to bed. Was that all
right?
When I got to my room I threw the window
open and took several deep breaths as if the air in my room were contaminated.
I had the most terrible night. I was awake for what seemed like hours making
feverish, deranged plans for the future. I could get married to Nick. At around
three in the morning, I seriously considered emigrating and started to rank
countries according to how far they were from North London. New Zealand seemed
especially tempting. This dissolved into a dream in which I was going away and
had to catch a train. I had so much to pack that I was never able to escape
from my room. Then I was staring into the darkness of my room and wondering if
something had woken me up and then I cried out. I couldn't stop myself. I had
made out a shape in the semi-darkness and befuddled as I was I could recognize
Brendan looking down at me. I fumbled for the light and switched it on.
'What the fuck?' I said.
'Ssshh,' he said.
'Don't "sshh" me,' I hissed,
shocked and angry. 'What are you doing?'
'I, er... I was looking for something to
read.'
'Get the hell out...'
He sat down on the bed and actually put
his hand over my mouth. He leaned down and spoke to me in a whisper.
'Please don't shout,' he said. 'You might
wake
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