him and said, “This place. It’s kind of scary.”
“Tell me about it,” Jack said, taking a sip of his coffee. “I found Mel here. That stuff isn’t supposed to happen.”
Four
P aul knew that Jack was right—he’d have to make his presence felt in Virgin River soon. He couldn’t let the doctor be the only one there when Vanni came out of mourning and was ready to get on with her life. So he called the general and asked if it would be all right to come down for a weekend visit, to see the family and the baby.
He got up early on Saturday morning and made the drive in record time. He pulled up in front of the house and what he saw from the driveway gave him pause. Vanni was dressed in well-worn jeans, chambray shirt with the sleeves rolled up, boots and a Stetson, standing out in front of Matt’s grave. She pulled the hat off her head and shook her hair down her back. Then she wiped at her eyes. Damn it, he thought. I told Jack she was still in that dark place.
He left the truck and, rather than going to the front door, he went out to the grave. As he came up behind her, she heard him and turned. Then she quickly turned back and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist. “Having one of those days?” he asked gently.
“Yeah,” she said. “Every once in a while I just get so lonely.”
“I know, Vanni. It’s going to be okay.”
“Dad’s worried about me coming out here to tell Matt about it.” She laughed uncomfortably. “He wishes I wouldn’t do this.”
“It’s okay to do this,” he said.
“I’m not brooding. Really. Sometimes I can’t think of anyone else to complain to.”
“You can always complain to me,” he said.
She turned around and looked at him; for a moment her eyes flashed. “And how am I supposed to do that? I hardly ever talk to you. I almost never see you.”
“I’m sorry, I meant to do better. I know I went missing for a while after leaving here. It’s complicated, Vanni. I can explain.”
“Any more complicated than losing a husband?” she snapped. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me just now. My God, you lost your best friend—I’m sorry. Paul, you don’t have to explain…”
“Yeah, I think I do. After we buried him and I stayed on for Mattie—I was kind of like a grenade with the pin out. I hadn’t unloaded, and man, I really needed to. I was a little out of my head, Vanni. I didn’t use the best judgment. I had to take a time out, some space—a few weeks. I had to get a grip on things, you know? And I didn’t want everything between us to be about grieving over Matt. There’s a lot more between us than that.”
“There is?” she asked hopefully.
“Well, Jesus, we delivered a baby together.” He rubbed a thumb along her cheek under her eye. “Sorry. My hands are so rough.”
“No,” she said. “No. Your hands are fine. Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?”
“Not half as much as I missed you. We’ve been through a lot together, you and me.” He reached for her hand. He couldn’t tell her now, here, in front of Matt’s grave with the general waiting right inside the house. “Go get cleaned up. Tom’s probably got a big date tonight, but I’m going to take you and your dad out to dinner.”
She smiled. “Anywhere special?” she asked.
“Your favorite bar and grill. I made a reservation.”
By the time Paul got the general, Vanni and baby to the bar, the few customers were finishing up their early meals and leaving. Tables were pushed together and the usual crowd gathered around. The April nights were still cold, so the fire was lit in the hearth. Jack divided his time between the tables and his favorite spot behind the bar. Paul drifted back there and said, “Look at your wife, my man. She’s almost more baby than woman. And she’s got a kind of wild look about her. Her cheeks are awful pink.”
“I know,” Jack said.
“Tell me about it,” Jack said, taking a sip of his coffee. “I found Mel here. That stuff isn’t supposed to happen.”
Four
P aul knew that Jack was right—he’d have to make his presence felt in Virgin River soon. He couldn’t let the doctor be the only one there when Vanni came out of mourning and was ready to get on with her life. So he called the general and asked if it would be all right to come down for a weekend visit, to see the family and the baby.
He got up early on Saturday morning and made the drive in record time. He pulled up in front of the house and what he saw from the driveway gave him pause. Vanni was dressed in well-worn jeans, chambray shirt with the sleeves rolled up, boots and a Stetson, standing out in front of Matt’s grave. She pulled the hat off her head and shook her hair down her back. Then she wiped at her eyes. Damn it, he thought. I told Jack she was still in that dark place.
He left the truck and, rather than going to the front door, he went out to the grave. As he came up behind her, she heard him and turned. Then she quickly turned back and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist. “Having one of those days?” he asked gently.
“Yeah,” she said. “Every once in a while I just get so lonely.”
“I know, Vanni. It’s going to be okay.”
“Dad’s worried about me coming out here to tell Matt about it.” She laughed uncomfortably. “He wishes I wouldn’t do this.”
“It’s okay to do this,” he said.
“I’m not brooding. Really. Sometimes I can’t think of anyone else to complain to.”
“You can always complain to me,” he said.
She turned around and looked at him; for a moment her eyes flashed. “And how am I supposed to do that? I hardly ever talk to you. I almost never see you.”
“I’m sorry, I meant to do better. I know I went missing for a while after leaving here. It’s complicated, Vanni. I can explain.”
“Any more complicated than losing a husband?” she snapped. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me just now. My God, you lost your best friend—I’m sorry. Paul, you don’t have to explain…”
“Yeah, I think I do. After we buried him and I stayed on for Mattie—I was kind of like a grenade with the pin out. I hadn’t unloaded, and man, I really needed to. I was a little out of my head, Vanni. I didn’t use the best judgment. I had to take a time out, some space—a few weeks. I had to get a grip on things, you know? And I didn’t want everything between us to be about grieving over Matt. There’s a lot more between us than that.”
“There is?” she asked hopefully.
“Well, Jesus, we delivered a baby together.” He rubbed a thumb along her cheek under her eye. “Sorry. My hands are so rough.”
“No,” she said. “No. Your hands are fine. Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?”
“Not half as much as I missed you. We’ve been through a lot together, you and me.” He reached for her hand. He couldn’t tell her now, here, in front of Matt’s grave with the general waiting right inside the house. “Go get cleaned up. Tom’s probably got a big date tonight, but I’m going to take you and your dad out to dinner.”
She smiled. “Anywhere special?” she asked.
“Your favorite bar and grill. I made a reservation.”
By the time Paul got the general, Vanni and baby to the bar, the few customers were finishing up their early meals and leaving. Tables were pushed together and the usual crowd gathered around. The April nights were still cold, so the fire was lit in the hearth. Jack divided his time between the tables and his favorite spot behind the bar. Paul drifted back there and said, “Look at your wife, my man. She’s almost more baby than woman. And she’s got a kind of wild look about her. Her cheeks are awful pink.”
“I know,” Jack said.
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