went twenty grand out of next year’s budget.
“Get me a cigarette, would you?” she said.
“You gave them up last month, remember?”
“I changed my mind.”
“Oh, no. This time I’m holding you to it.”
“Damn.”
Richard walked to the chair across the desk and sat down. “Rough night, huh?”
She lifted her head and looked at him. “I don’t know why I put up with this crap.”
“Honey, you create crap. You thrive on it.”
“I’m getting too old.”
“Tell Auntie Richard what’s wrong.”
“The DeLande painting. I’ve wanted to get my hands on it for years.”
“The Sea God ?”
“Have you looked at it yet?”
“Haven’t had time.”
“Make time. It isn’t just the central figure of the god. It’s the world he lives in. The ocean, the sand, the jungle. The whole place is magic.” Like the stories her parents had told her of Hawaii but hadn’t been able to show her for real. “I know it’s passé to love realism in this day and age, but I swear, I can feel the breeze on my skin when I look at that painting. I can smell the flowers and hear the surf.”
Richard’s brows went up in concern. “Is there anything wrong with the painting?”
“It’s grown a phallus.”
His eyes got wide. “Do tell.”
“A great, big, erect cock. The thing’s almost pornographic.”
“Ooooh. I need to look at that.”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“Believe me, honey, I don’t take great, big, erect cocks lightly.”
“Damn it. I can’t have pornography in my show,” she wailed.
He reached across the desk and patted her hand. “Okay, what do you want me to do?”
“Find that catalogue. If the god has a huge boner in that, I’ll brazen out the criticism.”
“And what if it doesn’t?”
“Then we have a case of vandalism and not only can’t I use the painting in the show, I have to get the insurance company to pay for some expensive repairs.”
“I see the problem.”
“Thank you.”
Tiffany appeared at the doorway with a bunch of papers in her hand. “Mail.”
“I thought nothing was getting through,” Gloria said.
“Neither rain nor snow nor dark of night,” Tiff recited.
“Great, now she’s a poet.”
Tiff held out the mail. “You need to look at this.”
“Not now. I have other things to worry about.”
Tiff walked to the desk and plunked one piece of paper down in the middle. “Read this. Now.”
Gloria tried glowering at her again, but again, it had no effect. If anything, Tiff glowered back. So, Gloria picked up the paper, tilted back in her swivel chair, and read.
“Congratulations, Gloria VanSant. You’ve won an all-expenses-paid week on beautiful Chimera Island.”
Gloria looked up at Tiff. “What in hell is this?”
“Just read.”
Located in the geographical center of the Bermuda Triangle, Chimera Island offers both mystery and natural beauty beyond compare. Only the most adventurous traveler is welcome on Chimera, and we’ve determined that’s you, Gloria VanSant. Absolutely no obligation, but you must book now. Call 1-800-555-4AEM or visit www.margaretriley.com/aoem.html today, to book your fantasy trip of a lifetime!
Margaret Riley , CEO
“Why are you bothering me with this? It’s a goddamn time-share.”
“No, it isn’t. I called. It’s totally on the level.”
“Come on. How gullible can you be?”
“They told me it was an exclusive resort -- by invitation only. An anonymous sponsor has arranged for you to spend a whole week there.”
Gloria set the letter back on her desk. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”
“No, you won’t. You’re leaving tomorrow. I’ve arranged it all.”
“You did what?”
“Your plane leaves in the morning.”
“What in hell is wrong with you? Call them back and cancel.”
“I’ve cleared your calendar for the next week. Everyone sends their best wishes for your aunt’s complete recovery.”
“I don’t have an aunt!”
“Easy, love,” Richard said. “Maybe
“Get me a cigarette, would you?” she said.
“You gave them up last month, remember?”
“I changed my mind.”
“Oh, no. This time I’m holding you to it.”
“Damn.”
Richard walked to the chair across the desk and sat down. “Rough night, huh?”
She lifted her head and looked at him. “I don’t know why I put up with this crap.”
“Honey, you create crap. You thrive on it.”
“I’m getting too old.”
“Tell Auntie Richard what’s wrong.”
“The DeLande painting. I’ve wanted to get my hands on it for years.”
“The Sea God ?”
“Have you looked at it yet?”
“Haven’t had time.”
“Make time. It isn’t just the central figure of the god. It’s the world he lives in. The ocean, the sand, the jungle. The whole place is magic.” Like the stories her parents had told her of Hawaii but hadn’t been able to show her for real. “I know it’s passé to love realism in this day and age, but I swear, I can feel the breeze on my skin when I look at that painting. I can smell the flowers and hear the surf.”
Richard’s brows went up in concern. “Is there anything wrong with the painting?”
“It’s grown a phallus.”
His eyes got wide. “Do tell.”
“A great, big, erect cock. The thing’s almost pornographic.”
“Ooooh. I need to look at that.”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“Believe me, honey, I don’t take great, big, erect cocks lightly.”
“Damn it. I can’t have pornography in my show,” she wailed.
He reached across the desk and patted her hand. “Okay, what do you want me to do?”
“Find that catalogue. If the god has a huge boner in that, I’ll brazen out the criticism.”
“And what if it doesn’t?”
“Then we have a case of vandalism and not only can’t I use the painting in the show, I have to get the insurance company to pay for some expensive repairs.”
“I see the problem.”
“Thank you.”
Tiffany appeared at the doorway with a bunch of papers in her hand. “Mail.”
“I thought nothing was getting through,” Gloria said.
“Neither rain nor snow nor dark of night,” Tiff recited.
“Great, now she’s a poet.”
Tiff held out the mail. “You need to look at this.”
“Not now. I have other things to worry about.”
Tiff walked to the desk and plunked one piece of paper down in the middle. “Read this. Now.”
Gloria tried glowering at her again, but again, it had no effect. If anything, Tiff glowered back. So, Gloria picked up the paper, tilted back in her swivel chair, and read.
“Congratulations, Gloria VanSant. You’ve won an all-expenses-paid week on beautiful Chimera Island.”
Gloria looked up at Tiff. “What in hell is this?”
“Just read.”
Located in the geographical center of the Bermuda Triangle, Chimera Island offers both mystery and natural beauty beyond compare. Only the most adventurous traveler is welcome on Chimera, and we’ve determined that’s you, Gloria VanSant. Absolutely no obligation, but you must book now. Call 1-800-555-4AEM or visit www.margaretriley.com/aoem.html today, to book your fantasy trip of a lifetime!
Margaret Riley , CEO
“Why are you bothering me with this? It’s a goddamn time-share.”
“No, it isn’t. I called. It’s totally on the level.”
“Come on. How gullible can you be?”
“They told me it was an exclusive resort -- by invitation only. An anonymous sponsor has arranged for you to spend a whole week there.”
Gloria set the letter back on her desk. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”
“No, you won’t. You’re leaving tomorrow. I’ve arranged it all.”
“You did what?”
“Your plane leaves in the morning.”
“What in hell is wrong with you? Call them back and cancel.”
“I’ve cleared your calendar for the next week. Everyone sends their best wishes for your aunt’s complete recovery.”
“I don’t have an aunt!”
“Easy, love,” Richard said. “Maybe
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