were out, just the hint of gray clouds. I looked at my England town below. I leaned over the edge and felt the wind push against my face, blowing my hair out behind me. If I just slipped over the edge, I thought, nobody would even care. I put my foot over the edge of the balcony. I drew a breath in and looked down. I could feel my heart race. My other foot was still on the other side of the balcony.
All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the door. I quickly pulled my foot back on the balcony and went inside, closing the door behind me. I pushed the hair out of my face. "Come in," I said, trying to be joyful.
My father opened the door and stood before me. He had a stern look on his face. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked.
“Oh no, I am just getting ready for bed,” I said. I started to straighten my bed sheets and looked busy.
“I just wanted to make sure everything was okay,” he said. “I know it’s tough with everything going on. It was a hard day for all of us. It will pass in time. Life will go on”
“Oh yes, I know,” I said, trying to keep a smile. “It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”
I was so sure that he had been the one for me. My father , the Duke, was set on Lord William from the start. "He is a fine gentleman and he inherited a large property from his family,” he had told me. "He is a great match for you.”
My father had set us up. We met at Georgian Ranelagh Gardens, a place that became one our favorite places throughout the years. We would walk through the gardens together frequently. He was wearing a blue coat with a scarlet waistcoat when we were introduced. He had a top hat over his blonde hair. I had been attracted to Lord William the moment I met him.
He was quite an interesting man to date. We went out to many public events during the course of our relationship and everyone in town knew of us. We were popular in our circle of family and friends and a wedding was anticipated from the start.
One of his downfalls was that he had a bit of drinking problem. I watched him drink heavily several nights and the bit of anger that swept over him when he was drunk. This did not bother me too much though, as I was in love with him. He was a great match for me and we would have lived a comfortable life off of the money and property he acquired from his family.
The depression from the breakup lasted for months. It was like a dark cloud had swept over me and my life. I tried to move on doing the tasks I normally did. I went to the gardens, out to dinner, and out on the town more and more as the months went by.
***
It was at the beginning of summer when things started to look up again. I saw the sunlight shine through my windows and felt a sense of relief on June 19th, 1811. My depression had started to fade and I felt a glimmer of hope go through me. The town was going through great changes, greater than the scandal that I had been a part of. As social and political events swept the area, I started to forget about my problems.
My family and I were invited to the ornate Carlton House for the celebration of the Prince of Wales' new position as the Regent of England. His father, King George III, had grown ill and the Prince was celebrating his new place of power.
I put on a simple but elegant pink ball gown for the evening that complemented my skin. The fabric shimmered a little in a way that reflected the light and made it glow. It revealed my collarbone and had white ruffles on the sleeve. I put on my long white gloves, and finally, I added a gorgeous white head piece that covered my hair in a sophisticated and elegant way.
I looked at myself in the vanity mirror in my bedroom. I put on Milk of Roses cream to my face and added a Rose Lip Salve lip balm to my lips which made them stand out against my skin. I could slightly taste its rose flavor in my mouth. I had a perfume settled on my vanity. I sprayed it across
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