Saving Grace by Darlene Ryan Page A

They left her with a babysitter all day. Okay, so she was Mr. Hansen’s mother, but still. They wanted a baby so much, that’s what they’d said on their profile, but then they didn’t even spend any time with her. And there weren’t any other little babies around there for her to play with when she got bigger, just a big empty lot on one side of that place and a house that had been abandoned, half built, on the other.
    That half-finished house turned out to be good for me because I could watchmy baby from there but no one could see me. It wasn’t really like I was trying to hide. I just hadn’t figured out what I was going to do and I didn’t want people bugging me.
    At first the only thing I’d wanted to do was see my baby, you know, make sure she was okay. I’d only gotten to see her once after she was born because my dad said it would be easier that way. When we got home from the hospital he’d said, “It’s done now. Put it out of your head.” It was like he didn’t realize I had just given up my own flesh and blood. I didn’t even say anything. I just walked away and went to my room and shut the door. My insides hurt, ached, and I thought that was just from having her, from pushing and all, but that feeling never went away. I couldn’t just “put it out of my head.” Finally I knew I had to see for myself that my baby was all right.
    My dad had put all the adoption papers in that metal box he kept in the back of his closet. And I knew where he hid thekey—in his sock drawer. Once I knew the Hansens’ full names it was easy to go online at the library and find their address. So the next morning I cut school and hitched out there. I took a clipboard. I was going to go to the door and pretend I was doing a survey, but then when I saw the empty house next door, with no one working in it, I figured why not just watch for a while.
    My mom liked to go bird-watching. She had a great big book all about birds, and she used to let me look at the pictures. After she died, Dad put all her stuff in boxes in the basement. I had to go through five boxes to find her binoculars. I figured she wouldn’t mind me using them to check on her granddaughter.
    And that’s all I was going to do—just watch my baby. But the more I watched, the more I could see she needed me. In the end I knew I had to do something because a baby needs to be with her mother. And it was easy, which just proves they weren’t good parents, because instead of me itcould have been some weirdo who walked away with her.
    Every time Mr. Hansen’s mother came back from somewhere, she’d put the baby in her car seat on the deck while she carried stuff in—groceries and dry-cleaning and stuff. What kind of a grandmother was she, leaving the baby out there like that? My mom would never have done that with her granddaughter.
    All I had to do was wait by the corner of the house. I did lie to Justin. I told him I just wanted to look in a window and see her. It was easier than getting into a long explanation beforehand. I knew once he’d spent some time with his daughter he’d see that the three of us were meant to be a family.

Chapter Two
    I glanced at Justin. He must have felt me looking at him. “I thought this was all decided,” he said. He didn’t take his eyes off the road.
    â€œI never decided anything,” I said. “My father did. He said, ‘Just because you were stupid enough to get yourself pregnant doesn’t mean you’re going to ruin the rest of your life.’ He’s the one who called the social worker. He’s the one who went through all the files on thepeople she picked out. He decided on the Hansens. Not me.”
    Justin shrugged. “I thought they seemed nice.”
    â€œYeah, well they’re not Brianna’s real parents. She should be with her real mother. Me.”
    â€œBrianna? I thought her